To think she's not my friend

[Sadmummy3]

I think I already know the answer to this. I have a friend who I met through work around 20 years ago. Our lives have obviously changed since then, changing jobs and having children etc.
In the past 6 or 7 years I have come to the conclusion she doesn't actually like me. She's not horrible to me but it's like she sees me as someone to see if no-one better is around. Just after my birthday she invited me round for a drink. I agreed but the next morning she cancelled on me because she was seeing her other friend. Her text ended are you free next weekend? I texted back and said yes but about an hour later she texted saying can I let you know about the weekend? We did very occasionally meet up and it's fine but I always have to go to her place she won't come here.
So am I right in saying this isn't really a friendship anymore? Shall I just stop responding to her messages? It makes me feel rubbish when she lets me down last minute.
Thing is I have a DS with very complex needs and I don't really have any friends, apart from her but then I feel she isn't a real friend. What do others think
YABU everyone has busy lives and at least you still see her
YANBU she doesn't want to be friends anymore. Move on.

When you meet up, what do you get out of it? Doesn’t sound like much…
It sounds like she’s v flakey and won’t prioritise you. So I suggest you prioritise what you need.

You’d readily make friends or have good chat in other local groups, meet-up, library book group, etc etc, and be able to invest the limited spare time you have in a reliable way that could make you happier.

You don’t need to burn the bridges, just decline a few invitations and make her see you have other ways to spend your time too.

You're not anyone's last resort. Don't be anyone's last resort. Everyone deserves to be someone's first choice.

Don't ghost her, but don't make any plans with her, if she makes them, perhaps say "are you sure? you've cancelled the last 17 times we made plans and that really put me out organising for you to cancel last minute? "

If she asks you to come to her - "ah can we meet at xyz, or can you come to me? I came to yours last time." - let her know youre keeping track...

You're putting in place boundaries that you're not being taken for a ride anymore.

Yes, sounds like you are a back up option.

My suggestion would be to be less available and less accommodating.

So when she cancelled on you and asked about next weekend, I would have said ‘no, I’m booked up for 4 weeks so can meet in mid-July’.

If you are available every time she suggests something, she thinks you are always there and doesn’t have to make any effort with you.

I think I will definitely be less available. I have said no a few times and she always acts hurt. She doesn't seem to realise how hurtful it is to know you are a last resort and that if a. better offer comes along I'll be dumped.
What's sad is we were really close friends at one time and I don't know why things have changed so much.
DH says she's a user and I should look for better friends but he's really confident and social, total opposite.of me. That's probably why I'm clinging to this friendship.

If you can, I’d give her one last opportunity and tell her how you feel.

Tell her how it feels being cancelled last minute, being made to feel last resort and how that makes you upset and is not actually benefiting from this.

She sound very self absorbed but you’ve nothing to lose as the relationship is ending otherwise anyway.