To allow DD to be a vegetarian?

[Summerlovin28]

Had one of the school mums, who is also a lunch lady today, make a comment at school pick up today. DD (who is 6) is a vegetarian by her own accord and she has been since she was 4. No one else in the family is a vegetarian but I am a believer in being honest about where meat has come from - due to this honesty DD said she did not want to eat meat anymore as she didn’t want to eat animals, which I said she had a every right to do so. I understand she is quite young but she’s also quite switched on and the idea of eating meat genuinely makes her upset and so I would feel uncomfortable putting pressure on her to. She eats a lot of cheese, egg and beans so does still get protein.
The school mum came up to me on the playground today and said ‘I didn’t know you were all vegetarians’ to which I explained that we weren’t and her response was ‘well that’s a bit silly allowing her to do that isn’t it?’ I was just taken aback and laughed it off a little but it has ruffled my feathers up!

Am I being unreasonable (or a bit silly) to allow her to be a vegetarian?

I've been vegetarian since I was 13, my husband has been got 10 yrs plus

The plan was to raise the children vegetarian but it didn't work out that way (complex allergies) so they have meat at school etc.

My oldest decided to be vegetarian at 7 fully of his own accord, its very strong in his convictions ♥️

The middle one loves a burger and says no way

I hope that the younger two will be veggie one day.but it is what it is

Well done you for respecting your child, I probably would have been vegetarian from that age too if I knew it was an option in 1990s Ireland!

Vegetarian means not eating meat, some vegetarians also don’t wear leather shoes, some do.

And so many people around the world are having to tolerate abysmal working conditions, it’s not reserved for vegetable pickers.

I see these issues as different from being a non meat eater to be honest.

What the shit?

Who cares what other people think?

I wouldn't pander to my kids fashion of the day, I make food and not 5 different dishes. If they want to be vegetarian, they'll learn to cook.

They all had a day of wanting to be a vegetarian to be fair - nothing that the smell of a good bbq didn't cure immediately 😂

At 4 dd decided she didn’t want to eat pigs - she loves pigs and didn’t want to eat them. I’ve respected that, much to my dad’s horror. He can’t comprehend that she likes bacon but chooses not to eat it. We also don’t buy pork gelatine sweets and she’s not eaten haribo since she was 5 and learned about gelatine. She’s 13 and still feels the same.

And what do you expect her to eat? Dust? Photosynthesise?

My eldest DC has been vegetarian for half their life now, decided age 7. None of the rest of the family are veggie but we have fully supported their decision and just adapt.

What a silly woman 🙄 of course you're right to respect your daughter's choice to not eat meat, you can't force her to eat it anyway!

Well she sounds pretty thick tbh. I would have asked her if she would force meat down her child’s throat in my position.

Of course YANBU.

My mum turned veggie in the early 60s as a 10 year old - even my grandmother let her get on with it and that was a long time ago. And my mum grew up in a traditional Irish family where they ate a lot of meat. It's important that your daughter known her views matter. That other mum sounds like an idiot.

One of my children wanted to be vegetarian. I supported her because, why not?! We gave her the dinners minus the fish/meat. She wanted to try being vegan, we all joined in for veganuary! She went back to being veggie for a while. She's recently gone back to eating meat again but it's all her choice. There's nothing wrong with being supportive, especially when they're doing it for good reasons e.g. they simply don't want animals to suffer.

Good for you respecting your daughter’s views . It bodes really well both for her self esteem and your ongoing relationship.

That’s awful

Yanbu.
One of my dts was 5 when he dabbled in vegetarianism.
We fully supported him and had a mixture of adapted meals and vegetarian meals.
He lasted a valiant 3 weeks before giving in to have a chicken and mushroom pie from the chippy.
Obviously it wasn't for him long term but even at that young age he was grateful that we supported him and respected his values.

I became a vegetarian at 5. My parents didn't have a choice. Once I knew where meat came from I couldn't eat it anymore. Still vegetarian at 45 but my son's aren't. I respect their decision as my parents respected mine. You're a good mother @Summerlovin28. Don't let anyone bully you. I've had vegetarians make snarky remarks about my boys eating meat. I tell them that I won't force them to not eat meat anymore than I would force them to be or not to be religious. It's about respect.

It’s not clear whether this is a member of school staff or someone employed by an outside company that provides the dinners in school.

Either way, she's not just another school mum - the fact that she also has a child at the school is irrelevant - she is someone who works in the school who has stepped outside her remit by commenting on your parenting decisions.

If she has concerns about your DD she should mention it to DD's class teacher or the Designated Safeguarding Teacher, whichever is more appropriate to her concern, and that person should be discussing it with you, not her.

Whether you choose to remind her of this or not is of course up to you.

That woman was incredibly rude! As long as your DD is eating a wide variety of foods then there’s no problem with her being a vegetarian. It’s great she’s understood enough to make that choice. There are loads of delicious and nutritious veggie meals.

"Am I being unreasonable (or a bit silly) to allow her to be a vegetarian?"

Not in the slightest. Yes it may be a bit inconvenient but it's her belief. Go against it, trick her etc and that would be wrong at many levels.

Our 3 were all brought up as vegetarian. Child no.1 wanted to go vegan as a teenager - and so she did, we were fine with it. However soon went back as she missed cheese.

Later she and child no.3 went fully vegan and dairy shamed us into going that way too. 10 years ago now.

Child no.2 is still vegetarian but vegan with us.

I’ve been one since the same age, in my 50s now. Always were comments or people hiding stuff in food etc which was truly awful. I still only really like food I’ve cooked because of it.

Truly awful I had the same thing done to me. So then you don’t even want to eat.

Whereas abattoir workers across the world all have fantastic working conditions 🙄

Your feet stink if you wear non leather shoes? Perhaps try washing them more often, because mine don't!

Yes definitely doing the right thing . I knew at 5 but was made to eat the family meals , It was all traumatic and I was often almost sick , I just threw away my school lunch . 52 and still vegetarian.

My 9 year old has just today informed me she wants to go veggie. No idea if it’ll last. But I’ve said that’s fine and I will buy quorn substitutes for meals with meat and make sure she has enough veggies and beans etc. it might last a day, might last a year, might last a lifetime, who knows. But it’s her choice to make not mine

This sounds like something which would be fine to think to yourself, but not to say out loud. As long as your daughter has a varied and healthy diet, and you're happy to accommodate her choices, then it's nobody else's business.

You’re doing the right thing, op.