To not give my toddler snacks?

[doweneedsnacks]

My four year old has copious amounts of them so I’m not being smug. But he is a hoover and devours everything. She is very fussy and just won’t eat fruit. She used to eat apples and cucumber sticks but now has stopped.

She will eat vegetables mixed in casserole, chilli, bolognaise etc. so I’ve just been doing this for her meals. Today she had boiled egg and toast for her breakfast, chilli con carne with rice for lunch and chicken stir fry for dinner.

Her brother has had the same but plenty of snacks … he had an apple after breakfast, then some cucumber, grapes and melon after lunch and more apple mid afternoon. He’s now eating strawberries and banana … But should she be having something even if it isn’t fruit or veg?

Snacks are not compulsory.
If any child has enough for breakfast and goes through to lunch without asking for anything, that is your standard.
They should never be offered.

Is she asking for snacks OP, or is she quite happy with just her meals?

If she’s not hungry between meals, not asking for snacks & you think is getting “enough” from her meals then I wouldn’t worry too much about offering snacks.

Just don't offer. I grew up in a snack free household-we ate at mealtimes, not in between and DD likewise. An apple, glass of milk and a biscuit, job done.

Is an apple, a glass of milk and a biscuit not a snack?

OP i would continue to offer visible vegetables as well as the hidden ones - presumably everyone else is eating visible veg?

And if you're going to offer snacks I wouldn't just offer fruit

Snacks are causing a big problem with eating patterns in my view. And we are creating that very early in children

Also too much fruit

Yes, but I wouldn't offer unless energy obviously flagging or child says they are hungry. Glass of milk etc is less fuss for me than breadsticks and houmous or whatever. In my view a chopped up apple or other piece of fruit is fine.

She isn’t really communicating hunger just yet - she can say drink but she hasn’t asked for food as such. She ate a massive lunch though so I do think she was hungry; probably no bad thing if she ate a healthy and well balanced lunch.

I knew I’d get told off for letting my child eat fruit; believe me, he’s healthy and I have an open door policy with fruit and veg but not other snacks, hence the amount of fruit!

Children (and adults) should be hungry at meal times. There should be anticipation of 'its eating time soon'

Im not sure where the idea has come from (not on this thread, Im talking generally) that we mustnt let ourselves/children get hungry, stave it off all the time

Its not healthy.

Mumsnet hates snacks and these threads always attract people who pride themselves of having never eaten (or fed their kids) a single crumb outside of meal times.

In the real world, the NHS and other organisations concerned with infant feeding do recommend offering snacks to children between 1 and 5 years old, generally saying 3 healthy meals and 1 or 2 snacks.

Young children need masses of calories - and a higher proportion of those from carbohydrates than adults do, to fuel their rapid growth and development. I think the recommendation for 2 year olds is 1,000 to 1,400.

If you think she’s getting that much from her meals and getting the full range of nutrients she needs (pay attention to things like iron - the nutrient young children are most commonly deficient in) then I wouldn’t worry - but if she’s getting hungry, cranky or emotional in between meals or if you think there’s something missing which you could offer outside set meals time then maybe try adding at least one in.

Fruit is also great - I have no time for the ‘but sugar’ hand wringing - any reputable source would recommend kids eat fruit. Offer it alongside meals/ with another food eg oatcake and nut butter as a more balance snack if it makes you feel better and be hot on the tooth brushing.

There is a book called bringing up bebe about raising a child in france, and they go into the french eating routine for children and how it tends to be very regimented for all children. Honestly it's fascinating. From a mum whose children snack excessively and therefore do not eat meals properly and needs to correct it.Regardless, I don't view fruit badly, though one of mine would live on blackberries alone if allowed to.

@helpmeCalifornia it was the NHS link that got me wondering funnily enough! I’m not anti snacks particularly and I don’t mind if someone gives her a biscuit or something at a group. But her diet has become a bit restricted of late and so while I’d be happy for her to have a healthy snack mid morning and then have a lighter lunch I guess she’s having two biggish home cooked meals. I think the only healthy snack she’d have would be cheese or breadsticks which is okay I suppose. She won’t eat apple or pear or berries, it does worry me a bit.

Well my 3 year old is a grazer. It’s not what I’d choose, it’s not what I intended, it’s not what I strived for, I would LOVE it if he just got hungry enough at a mealtime to devour everything on his plate but he won’t. He’ll eat like a bird, so I’d rather give him healthy snacks/very small meals at various times throughout the day so I know he’s getting goodness and energy.

They’re all different, it shouldn’t be a one size fits all. If he’s hungry and it’s making him miserable he gets something to eat rather than be made to last until a proper sit down meal.

I took the same approach with naps- if he was tired, and grumpy and emotional as a result, he could have one.

I don’t think it’s always a good thing to be so rigid while they’re still small. (He is still taught table manners though, it’s a non negotiable for me whether he wants to eat more than two spirals of pasta or not)

I think if she's eating 3 good meals a day, she's probably fine. I'd keep offering fruit even if she doesn't seem interested at the moment - maybe offer a little bit before her meals when she's good and hungry?

I'd offer her a healthy snack twice a day, ideally a bit of fruit/veg and some protein (apple and cheese, carrot sticks and houmous/peanut butter), but if she doesn't eat it then I wouldn't worry or offer anything else.

I don’t think you need to worry! 2 is peak picky eating age.

Keep offering - I really believe that. DD is only just starting to eat certain things now at nearly 5 that she’d either always refused or gone off for the years between 2 and now. We just kept serving them as normal and suddenly she eats tomatoes!

I really do think it’s fine for a child who doesn’t seem bothered and seems to be getting everything she needs from meals to skip the snacks, I just take issue with the replies that these threads always get that are ‘nobody needs snacks ever’. There’s a tendency to apply adult nutritional advice (or nonsense picked up from diet culture or outright orthorexia) to children and it’s not really based in fact. But if your DD wants cheese and breadsticks sometimes that’s great - protein, calcium, good source of fat and some vitamins. Offer it with a bit of apple or some cucumber sticks or sliced grapes or whatever and if she doesn’t eat them she doesn’t eat them - maybe her brother will polish them off 😁At least she’s being exposed to them.

Grapes and strawberries are luxuries in my eyes. The only fruit we had were apples 😂

This. Only on mn would you get told off for feeding your children fruit 🙄

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

a rare treat to see sound, evidence-based nutrition advice on mumsnet.

Off topic but so odd to call a four year old a toddler. I have a two year old and four year olds are grown up sensible people in my opinion 🤣

If having 3 good meals they don’t need snacks

equally some are more hungry then others so as long as the snacks don’t interfere with their meals I don’t see the issue tho

your son does eat a lot of fruit. Fruit doesn’t keep them full for long and is the sweetness of it that isn’t always good for teeth

so I would offer a fruit snack then other more filling /protein

rice cakes
humous and veg sticks
Baby bel
pepperoni

catguts
hard boiled egg
slices of ham /chicken

I didn’t, I have a four year old AND a toddler. The four year old has snacks; the toddler (22 months to be precise) doesn’t.

Boiled egg for breakfast, chill for lunch and stir fry for dinner? Most toddlers would push those plates away and refuse most if that! I’m really not sure what you’re worrying about? You don’t mention biscuits, crisps etc but instead fruit as snacks so
what’s the issue? She’s eating well!

Catguts - best typo ever!

People have different eating patterns, ways if eating that work best for them.

Some people will have hunger geared for 3 set meals a day.

Some people will do better with grazing.

Some people may even prefer to have one large meal a day, and will be healthier in this.

For weight management and health, every child should be able to dictate how often they eat. They should be taught to listen to their hunger - not eat "just because it's time to" when they're not ready yet, and not be made to wait just because "it's not dinner time yet".

The school/workday is absolute bullshit for weight and health management.

This obsession with 3 meals a day at certain times is why so many kids have grown up fat. They're being trained to not listen to hunger signals - same with kids who get snacks forced on them when they didn't request it. Or kids who communicate they're hungry but get told no.

If we want a healthy population, for the majority of people the first step is allowing them to learn how to listen to their body and respond appropriately. Not ignore it and start eating for other reasons.

Because there’s little else she will eat.

She won’t eat any veg that’s not mixed in a sauce of some sort so pretty much just tinned tomatoes and onions, pepper if I can get it in.

She won’t eat courgette, broccoli, peas or sweetcorn (used to but now refuses) spinach, mushroom, even sweet potato, carrot. No apple or banana or pear, no berries, no peaches or nectarines or oranges.

So we have a very restricted diet with her. at the moment she goes to nursery three days a week where she eats a lot better but with me I constantly rotate the same four main meals (cottage pie, bolognaise, chilli and stir fry) with things like beans on toast, home made pizza (specifying home made to try to explain I’m not buying them a dominoes!) sandwiches and so on. I worry she’s eating barely any fruit or veg.