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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When your child is disabled you’re constantly fighting??

3 replies

somethingawe · 10/06/2025 14:22

Name change as the personal details may expose me..

It’s just as the title says really.. when your child is disabled you’re constantly having to fight for support from those who are there to ‘support’.

Long story short I have three children. After my third child was born and we found out he had a disability my now ex husband decided to leave. I am now a single parent and I’m my son’s carer, therefore I’m not working.
But prior to this we both were working and were renting privately on a private road. Now I’m receiving UC, and every other benefit I’m entitled to as I just cannot work due to my sons needs.

I have contacted my local council several times for help in moving home. My neighbours are being really difficult with parking which makes it difficult to get my son in and out the house safely (private road so council will not put a disability bay), the house doesn’t suit my sons needs (there isn’t enough space for his wheelchair or his equipment) and we need to be closer to his school since it’s a SEN school and I’m constantly there supporting.

The council just doesn’t want to help because we aren’t homeless. It just seems so unfair that those who need the support don’t receive it. I feel as though I’m becoming very overwhelmed with my current situation and I fear making myself ill.

I recently found out that parent carers are at an increased risk of having a stroke and thought how terrifying that was. My kids dad doesn’t care and I have no support system, so who will be there?!

I didn’t choose this life, I’d love to go back to work and have a normal life but it’s physically impossible right now.

I love my family and I just want to do better for them in a situation beyond my control.. AIBU in thinking I shouldn’t have to fight for support for my family?

OP posts:
AgnesX · 10/06/2025 18:26

It seems very unfair and it is. Demand far outstrips demand however. You may be higher up whatever lists there are than other people. Housing generally is a huge issue and suitable housing for the disabled is thin on the ground.

I feel for you.

BunnyEaster · 10/06/2025 18:29

I totally agree. I stopped looking for help as it's a battle to get then turns out to be shit and useless anyway. My son had a disability socail worker but that was pulled with no evidence a few months ago. The only thing that has really helped is independent specail school who provide all the therapy as the therapist are on staff. Getting that was probably the only battle worth the stress.

elliejjtiny · 10/06/2025 18:35

Yanbu. I'm in a different situation to you as we have secure cheap housing but I have disabled dc and I am always fighting for something. At the moment it is a dla form and an ehcp.

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