Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has anybody had a second baby that makes them want a third?

27 replies

ArsenalGal · 10/06/2025 11:41

Did anybody else think they absolutely only wanted two children until their second baby convinced them that maybe they wanted a third? 🫣

My first child was such a difficult baby. Incredibly sweet natured, but had horrific reflux, and consequently didn't sleep for longer than an hour at a time until he was well over a year old. He used to wake up screaming every single hour and would only nap if being held in a dark room. I actually thought I would die from the sleep deprivation, and I had horrendous PPA. I was adamant I was one and done and used to chant to myself 'you never have to do this again' when he was little.

Anyway, he grew up and sleep improved and he proved to be such an absolutely gorgeous, sweet, fun, lovely toddler that we decided we would have another one and would just endure a terrible first year.

But this baby. This baby is a unicorn. She has slept through the night since she was 8 weeks old with absolutely no influence from us. She is non-stop smiles and giggles. She is so cuddly. She is completely chilled and haply wherever she is - on the playmat, in the sling, in her crib. She's so calm. She wakes up in the morning cooing happily to herself. She's coming up for six months old now and is in every way a dream baby; the easiest, calmest child you could imagine.

So now my idiot self is thinking... why not have a third? If I had more like her I could keep going indefinitely. This is madness, isn't it? I'll have a baby that doesn't sleep for three years and I'll die. I keep telling myself this. But then my baby smiles and me and I just think how could I not?

I think what I really want to do is freeze time. My son is at a heavenly age where he's so fun and cute and I love spending time with him. My baby is so sweet and I just love the baby stage this time. I don't want it to end, I want exactly this life forever. I can't bottle it up by having more babies, though. I'll have to endure the exquisite torture of watching them grow up one way or another.

OP posts:
Whatatodo79 · 10/06/2025 12:42

You might have another like the first. Or one with additional needs. It's a throw of the dice everytime. Each age of parenting is different and you'll find ways to enjoy it

QuickPeachPoet · 10/06/2025 12:45

Just imagine how it would upset your family dynamic if a fictitious third came out ‘different’ and took all your time away. You would go from loving your family life to loathing it.
Enjoy what you have. Don’t risk it.

SunSparkle · 10/06/2025 12:48

I have a similar story in that my first was a difficult baby and my second is totally different but we’ve decided to stop at 2 for a number of reasons. If I got a dream third baby it would be great but if it was another tricky one and with my eldest still being quite tricky, it would break up as a family.

it’s a very personal decision though and your family set up and support system might be different to ours. I have incredibly difficult pregnancies and for that reason I couldn’t cope being pregnant with a third even if they came out a total dream baby.

throwawaynametoday · 10/06/2025 12:50

I've got one (well two words for you) - three teenagers!

But your OP made me feel all warm inside OP. What I wouldn't give to be able to relive some of those days (although teenagers are a delight too, in their own way). You're absolutely right to cherish every moment.

Ohrightyho · 10/06/2025 12:54

Similar difficult first baby, easy second baby. When second baby was small I was quite broody for a third. I grew out of that phase.

Once they were about aged 5&7 I was very glad I didn’t have a younger one. Now they are teenagers I’m very very very glad.

It is sad that the time they were babies was so fleeting though.

theuntameableshrew · 10/06/2025 12:57

I had a third after my second angelic baby. DC3 had horrific reflux then other difficulties which led to him being diagnosed with ASD with a PDA profile. I adore him, but it’s been beyond exhausting for years meeting his needs-he couldn’t cope with school and has been home educated for years. My exh couldn’t/wouldn’t get on board with reality which made things infinitely harder.

BallerinaRadio · 10/06/2025 13:02

Oh God no the second put me off kids forever 😂😂

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 10/06/2025 13:04

I had a very chilled second baby. She grew into an absolutely feral toddler with a stubborn streak not to be rivalled. She’s 4 now and only just developing the ability to be reasonable about things. DD1 was the most easygoing toddler and generally very compliant. Still is for the most part at 11yo.

We do have three children though and DS (14mo) is just a joy. Slept through the night until he was about 7mo and now only wakes for a dreamfeed or two occasionally. He has feral tendencies and is a climber like DD2 but so far is a lot more easygoing like DD1. He’s still young though so let’s see. 😬

We declared ourselves definitely done after him which was just cemented by a high risk pregnancy and very scary birth. I get the odd pang of broodiness but mostly just relief that we got through the newborn/toddler/pre-teenage phase and don’t have to do it again. I’m seeing friends have their babies now which isn’t helping (we had ours young) but DH had a vasectomy last November so no risk we’ll cave to it. 😂

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 10/06/2025 13:05

My second was a dream baby, always all smiles and gorgeous big chubby cheeked laughs. We still adore him - and I still sometimes think about a third - but he is a very, erm, 'spirited' four year old now and much trickier than his brother was at the same age!

BarnacleBeasley · 10/06/2025 13:20

Yeah, we had an easy second baby - slept through the night pretty much instantly, to the point where the health visitor told us to wake him up for feeds, napped for 5 hours a day, I had pretty much nothing to do on maternity leave and got loads done around the house. Happy, smiley, friendly. Anyway, he's still lovely, but now he's 18 months and has some very strong opinions. He's also magnetically drawn to hazards and tends to go in the opposite direction to the one you want at all times.

Rockandgrohl · 10/06/2025 13:26

Haha I had this, nightmare first baby who turned into a dream toddler...we were also going to be one and done, but then had DC 2 who was a unicorn baby, slept through, giggled smiled just loving and awesome....we discussed baby 3 but eventually decided to stick at 2...and I thank God every day that we did as that dream baby is now a demon toddler from hell..so my theory is hard baby = easy toddler and easy baby = hard toddler 🤣

RealEagle · 10/06/2025 13:28

I had quite an easy first baby ,second baby was a nightmare sleeper and a feisty little thing .Third baby was a dream .

BarnacleBeasley · 10/06/2025 13:34

DS1 was an averagely difficult baby, but he was very charming at around 14 months so we decided to have another. As I said above, DS2 was a lovely baby, but at exactly 14 months he was also exceptionally charming, and at the same time, DS1 became extremely lovely again. I think it's not a coincidence, but an evolutionary trap to trick you into having a third.

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 10/06/2025 13:41

Eldest was a diffcult baby - DS was easy baby but much harder toddler and child - and DD2 was much easier in some ways and hard in others. They are all lovely teens.

We always wanted 3 though at one time wavered and wanted 4.

If pg and birth of third hadn't be so badly handeled by health authority we were under - we'd have probably gone ahead. When we did move away from that health care authority we got a 4 bed house so no sharing bedrooms and youngest was nearly 7 and felt like to a big gap - and frankly few years later we were glad we didn't and that's held really.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 10/06/2025 16:37

BarnacleBeasley · 10/06/2025 13:34

DS1 was an averagely difficult baby, but he was very charming at around 14 months so we decided to have another. As I said above, DS2 was a lovely baby, but at exactly 14 months he was also exceptionally charming, and at the same time, DS1 became extremely lovely again. I think it's not a coincidence, but an evolutionary trap to trick you into having a third.

I would agree with this. DS is 14mo and slightly easier at the minute. It’s just enough to potentially lull me into wanting a 4th but luckily I still remember thinking I’d never have a free second again after he was born.

RampantIvy · 10/06/2025 16:41

Do you want three expensive and stress inducing teenagers?

GaspingGekko · 10/06/2025 16:42

Same as you OP, awful experience first time and we waited years before being prepared to have another. DC1 grew up to be mostly delightful.
DC2 was a sleeper and a napper and super chilled. I could easily have been convinced to have another. Several years later and DC2 is now an absolute terror, completely unmanageable and drives us mad. So glad we stuck to 2.

Ninkynonkpinkyponks · 10/06/2025 16:45

My first baby was like yours. Second baby was like your second baby. Now I sit here with my third in my arms and I could totally for a fourth hahaha.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/06/2025 16:47

Yes, I became very broody for quite a while after dd2. Some people assumed I wanted a boy, but it wasn’t that at all - I just wanted another BABY!

Thankfully the urge did pass.

CowboyJoanna · 10/06/2025 17:02

My eldest was a perfect baby. Slept all through the night, barely ever cried. She was a very friendly carefree toddler, even now as a teenager she's lovely and quiet most of the time but every now and then she's an absolute moody cow if I do say so myselfGrin
My second was the same. But he was a clingy toddler who was very very needy. Now he's a very polite lad, still a bit shy and scatterbrained.

My third was also a quiet baby, but she did go through a difficult phase after a bout of croup. Wasn't as high-maintenance as my boy as a toddler, but shes a bit more difficult to reason with now.

Because we had three calm babies, DH and I were complacent that we could handle having a fourth. But dear oh dear, DD4 was an absolute nightmare. Crying day in, day out. Crying for food then rejecting it. Not even lullabies could soothe her. We thought she'd calm down as she got older...let's just say she's seven years old and she's only become even more stubborn and strongwilled and as much as I love her, if Id have had her first lets just say i wouldnt have had any moreConfusedGrin

Icanttakethisanymore · 10/06/2025 17:43

I’ve had a 2nd baby that made me not want a third 😂

I guess you need to be prepared for an ‘easy’ baby or a ‘hard’ baby and if you’re not prepared for the latter don’t have one.

ArsenalGal · 10/06/2025 17:59

Thank you all - lots of wise advice!

I'll definitely see how she pans out as a toddler before making any decisions 😂

Both of my pregnancies were terrible, which is another consideration. I genuinely don't know if I could go through it a third time.

OP posts:
Kiki25 · 10/06/2025 18:26

Me i’m in the exact same situation i want another so bad it’s almost all i think about and my baby just had his first birthday last week

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 10/06/2025 18:28

ArsenalGal · 10/06/2025 17:59

Thank you all - lots of wise advice!

I'll definitely see how she pans out as a toddler before making any decisions 😂

Both of my pregnancies were terrible, which is another consideration. I genuinely don't know if I could go through it a third time.

Factor in age and having two others to look after too. I was 19 and 26 with my first two pregnancies. Both a breeze and I actually loved being pregnant both times! I was 29 for DS, had a 9/10 and 2/3 year old to look after and developed GD. My bump was huge, everything hurt and I was exhausted all the time. Hated it!

Kittyloulou · 10/06/2025 20:55

Quit while you’re ahead!