To think losing an online relationship can make you sad even if you know it’s only online.

[CorrosiveSubstance]

It’s as if you get used to the constant communication and when it’s gone it’s gone and you feel a bit bereft 🥲

I’ve been besotted once with an online friend! When I lost him I missed him for at least a year or two.

Can be very upsetting can’t it ?

If you’ve never met the person, then I don’t think it’s about the ‘relationship’, I think it’s purely an addictive dopamine kick, in the same way that keeps people scrolling through social media. And absolutely, if difficult to go cold turkey on an addiction.

Yes exactly !! I was going to use the phrase ‘dopamine hit’ but worded it in a different way

Oh, OP I'm so sorry.

This reminds me of my DDs pen friend from Japan that she had for 2 years when she was 13-15 years old ( she's 28 now). It was the old-fashioned 'proper' written pen friend.

The pen friend got diagnosed with cancer, she used to write with news of her treatment. She was obsessed with UK sweets, and DD used to send parcels of sweets, colouring, books etc...

One day, she didn't hear back.

4 months later, DD got a letter from her mother, saying SooYung had gone to heaven, ( her name didn't escape us).

It was heartbreaking and DD took really quite some time in coming to terms with it. DD still talks of her now.

So you are absolutely reasonable in grieving an online relationship ending, for whatever reason.

I think you're still connecting with that person so it's natural you'd feel sad when it ends. In a way it's similar to feeling sad when a TV or radio celebrity dies. We likely have never met them but you still feel connected to them because they're a part of your day to day life.

I think it can be hard when you lose a connection for various reasons. I've never seen the need to meet people IRL to make it a "real" frienship/relationship, but I'm a very words-oriented ND person in general. I had a very good friend online from a disability forum who I never met, and realistically never could meet. When she died I was devastated. I don't think it was about an addiction or anything, I think I cared about her and was genuinely sad when she passed.

Aw so sorry to hear this ❤️

I was friends with a lady from America, we spoke probably 5 times a week for 3 years, we laughed together, called each other, sent gifts to each other etc.

She recently died and I was as upset as I would have been had we met in person.

❤️

I still occasionally miss the people i used to chat online too daily as a teen, like 20 years ago! It's no different to the friendships that drifted apart in 'real life'

It is hard.
I had a friend who I met online, and subsequently in real life. It was through a shared interest, so we met several times a year and were, I felt, quite close. We used to talk every day and stay up late at nights just chatting about everything. Her enthusiasm for the shared interest waned, and with it, her interest in me. Our relationship had developed away from the hobby, and it hurt that she didn't value this aspect of it nearly as highly as I did. She's still around on the edges and will eventually answer if I send her a message. But when you get the sense of Oh God, better get back to Theodora, what a chore, you know that what you had is gone. I still miss it.

Of course it can.
Relationships come in many forms.
I hope you feel better soon. 💕

I miss sparklingbrook on here. Our kids were similar ages and stages. I dont know why she left.

It’s really difficult when anyone you used to message daily/regularly isn’t in your life anymore. You’re allowed to grieve that connection. Be kind to yourself.

Yes, I get this. I have an online hobby I’ve made a lot of friends through, some I’ve met in real life, most not. Most of them, we exchange a quick chat most days, and if we go a few days without I find myself thinking…is that it then?

Sometimes these things do fizzle out a bit without any deeper connection to bind you, and I find it sad and always wonder, was it me?

Yes I had this recently, had a lovely friendship with a guy online for a year and a half. We never met but chatted virtually everyday and knew everything about each other, had so many laughs and helped each other through some tough times. Suddenly out of the blue he changed and distanced himself from me, became unkind and in the end I had to end it. It’s been like a detox, he was such a big part of every day, so many things make me think of him. I cry most days just from the pain of missing him.

Aw sorry to hear this ❤️

it hurts like hell doesn’t it?