Baby Vaccines

[MrsBlob]

So I went to the GP surgery yesterday to get the second lot of baby vaccines, my daughter.

Unfortunately, I forgot the damn red book.
The nurse asked if I had it, and I told her I had forgotten it.
She then said
'Oh, you've failed today'.

I got a bit emotional, thanked her, and informed her that another person telling me I had failed was exactly what I needed that morning.
She then said ‘well, I thought you might apologise for being late’.
I asked for another nurse in terms of having the baby vaccines.

Yes, I hadn't brought the damn red book, and I was 5 minutes late, honestly no more than this, but I am looking after a baby who is very colicky. 4-5 hours sleep would be a very good night. I noticed a cup of tea on the desk; I know that would technically be against infection prevention rules; I don't really care about this but I hadn't been able to have a cup of tea yet that day, or wash, or have breakfast due to the demands of caring for my baby.

I also think there's a bit of a sexism element, I just can't picture a man getting these sort of comments.

Anyway, I was going to go and see the practise manager/ and or make a complaint. I did consider deregistering and seeing if I can register her with a different practise, I wonder if that might be a bit of an overreaction.

Sorry you are struggling, I really am. I had a difficult baby and I do know how hard it is when you’re sleep deprived, most parents with a young baby are very sleep deprived.

It’ s not the nurses fault you haven’t had a cup of tea or a wash or breakfast and, tbf, you clearly have no clue how hard it is working in primary care and constantly dealing with patients who are late. It frequently means clinicians don’t get to drink that cup of tea, or even get to go for a wee.
Having to fill the book in at a later date is also an additional task that the nurse doesn’t have time allocated for her to do, so will again be taken out of her own time. I think her first comment was likely an (ill advised) joking comment that landed badly due to you being tired and stressed tbh.

It would, however, have been polite to apologise for being late.

Not sexist, men are also pulled up for being late and forgetting dressings etc that they were supposed to bring.

Babies are hard work, we’ve all been there, but being arsey with someone who commented on your timekeeping, asking for a different nurse, and then making a complaint is just going to label you as a PITA patient. You made your feelings clear by asking for a new nurse, really no need to complain as well. You would likely get sent a formal letter reminding you of the importance of attending appointments on time in future if you do.

You don’t need to deregister, just register at a new practice and the records will be transferred over.

Hi, it sounds tough. If it’s any consolation I failed to bring my red book to every single medical appointment for number 2. I think calling it a failure was harsh. That said, I’d just chalk it up to a bad day.

'you clearly have no clue how hard it is working in primary care and constantly dealing with patients who are late'. No I do, I work in tertiary care.

None of that excuses the nurse telling a new mum at risk of pnd that she's failed that day, it's a disgusting comment and @MrsBlob absolutely should complain about the nurses comments and I'd mention her mug on the desk as that's how babies and immunocompronised people get nasty infections.

It seems very unlikely a professional would risk her pin in making those comments. Complain but i doubt the manager will do anything, your word against hers. Also not the end of the world if you missed the red book, it's all recorded via documentation

The mug on the desk is definitly not how babies get nasty infections. It wont have been near anyone and the nurse would have used gloves... dont know where you got that from

@OnePearlJoker anything that breaches infection control can lead to infections add to that someone who ignores infection control rules for a cup of tea us likely to ignore others especially in conjunction with her inappropriate comments

There were two nurses in the appointment.

She shouldn’t have made that comment, but having a drink on the desk isn’t an infection control problem.

Forgetting the red book isn’t the end of the world, and being late happens but an apology would be nice. 5 minutes late into a 15 minute appointment especially with baby jabs (which are complex) is not insignificant.

Sounds like it was a bad day all around, take a breath and don’t overreact by registering elsewhere.

What you think I'm lying or something?

You should have apologised for being late, at my practice they would've cancelled your appointment and made you rearrange. I would've also apologised for forgetting my red book. She shouldn't have said you have failed, that wasn't the right thing to say. I'd put it down to you are very tired and maybe she wasn't having a great day either. I wouldn't begrudge a hard working nurse having a cup of tea and I think you are understandably feeling vulnerable and exhausted but it's not her fault that you hadn't had a cup of tea yet. Take care and I hope baby's colic gets better soon and you get more sleep.

I work in practice nursing and we are allowed to have cups of tea and flasks of water. This was set out via our practice manager... No patient is ever close enough to my desk to burn themselves or catch a nasty bug. Before we touch a patient we must wash our hands and always use gloves so dont know how it goes against IPC, Same thing happened when i worked on wards, we had a tea trolley come round for the staff during shift... this happpened in my trust.. so not just me, 100s of staff this happens too

I said it seems unlikely she would risk her pin and especially if there was another nurse there

I think you need to chalk it up to experience, not be late and try to remember the red book. She was probably having a rough day too

I am a practice nurse who regularly does baby vaccine clinics. Yes it’s annoying when patients are late particularly if they don’t apologise, on the other hand I always apologise if I was running late and kept them waiting.
The nurse really was being silly about the red book, you will be back in 4 weeks no worry I can update it then
Sometimes I don’t know why some nurses behave like this- it’s a person centred role and you should be able to talk appropriately to people!

This. You are taking it personally she didn't mean it like this. You really can't be late for gp appointments these days. Just put it down to experience and move on.

There seems to be an unusually high proportion of Mumsnet users that are treated to unnecessary comments from nurses/health visitors so I think a lot of people are wary these days that some of the posts aren't genuine

Her wording was really shit and I can see why you were upset. I think people are often pretty patronising or insensitive to new mums.

I wouldn't escalate it any further for your own sanity and also just to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Is your partner helping you with the baby? Will baby go in a sling or do you mind baby crying for 5 mins while you do something. Remember you have to look after your basic needs so you can look after babies.

@MrsBlob that’s appalling! She sounds awful. I probably wouldn’t complain about the tea but I would about her comments. However, I wonder if that process would simply make you feel more aggrieved, as who knows whether the practice manager would do anything, in my experience they are often pretty rubbish.

I cannot believe any posters would try and excuse her behaviour! Even if she was having the worst day ever, it’s her job to not be an absolute dick to patients and especially mums with young children.

FWIW I often forgot the red book and I like to think I’m pretty successful in life generally! Hope you’re ok OP.

YANBU, that comment was out of order and spiteful. I also forgot my baby's red book at her last round of vaccines and they were really nice about it and said it doesn't matter at all since it's all recorded in her medical records anyway. Saying you'd failed for a minor oversight when you're in the thick of caring for a newborn is so mean and unnecessary.

Sounds like she was probably trying to make a joke but it came out as super patronising and she genuinely didn’t anticipate your reaction so went on the defensive and challenged you about your timekeeping. Not the best from her but you are knackered and in the trenches so it will have hit way harder than it would at any other point in your life.
Some of the most awkward, patronising conversations I’ve ever had were with healthcare professionals during the first year of my child’s life so I do tend to believe posters who post about this sort of thing!

The fact we have to bring in a bloody book with us is ridiculous in 2025. Why can’t these things just be put on computer system?! It’s outrageous how medical notes in the NHS don’t communicate or correspond with other departments.

That woman was a cow, and you didn’t deserve that.

Oh OP. I had a baby who didn’t let me get washed or dressed or fed and it is so hard. I had a disaster taking DD for her first vaccinations. The second I got there I realised I’d forgotten to pack the bottles of expressed breastmilk I’d spent ages pumping and prepping beforehand so immediately panicked and then I misunderstood the instructions at reception so sat in the wrong waiting room. I assumed they were just running behind and didn’t want to leave the waiting room to go back to reception to check in case the nurse called me up. By the time I did chase them up I’d missed both the vaccine appointment and the check up with the GP booked for after. Luckily they sorted it out in the end and the nurse didn’t go as far as telling me I’d failed but I did get a look.

I said never again and for all other important appointments in the first year, vaccines, health visitors, nursery trials etc, DH took time away from work and came with us. That way we’d get there on time with everyone washed, dressed and fed and all the paperwork we need. I don’t know if that’s something you can consider for next time?

Hope you get to a point where you can enjoy a cup of tea soon.

it is documented on a computer system, that is how HCP communicate the patients notes, the red book is mainly for the health vistor when they visit the parents, but every vaccine has to be recorded electronically as it is seen as legal doucmentation, for example they have to put the expiary date and batch number. I guess you have no experience working for the nhs by these comments...

Fuck that nurse and the stupid red book. What an awful comment to make to a vulnerable Mum. She doesn’t need an apology for you being late and should’ve checked in that you are ok.
I had so much trauma from HV, vaccines and the clinics and only now 22 years in I can look back and think I should’ve told them to ram it.
Take no notice, I bet you’re a top Mum.