To be panicking about DS getting braces ...help

[HedgehogOnTheBike]

His teeth are crowded, not ghastly looking.
One canine is up his gum more
Dentist referred him, orthodontist said yes, it's free.
DS is 16.
Both of us have autism. Both of us can't make decisions.i really can't make this one.

He said yes, then no, then yes. He has to have 4 teeth out. Two of them today.
I feel sick, I know he does too, both of us crippled by indescion.

How important is vanity, his teeth work are not filed, but he doesn't smile with his teeth much.

My nephew did all this then slowly didn't wear his night retainer and the teeth moved back wonky again.

Night retainer x autism. I know I would find it hard having it in my mouth...what if DS does. (I haven't said all these personal anxieties to him, I try to keep neutral, but he knows I'm anxious and he has to decide even the orthodontist told him that.)

I'm anxious and depressed anyway at the moment so this huge life choice is so hard for me

He was supposed to do it at 14 then he said no. Then he asked for it, so we went back...now he's unsure again.

Tell me AIBU braces are fine and good
YANBU braces are not worth it

He does not have any fillings that should say. I'm anxiously typing

100% worth it.
Having straight teeth will make a big difference to his confidence. Short term pain, long term gain.

My kids are still small but looking like they will both need braces. We won't hesitate.

If he has the chance of remedial dental work and its free then he should make the most of the opportunity while he can.

I think you are overthinking. Wouldn't your DS say if he didn't want them?

Is it a necessity to get the teeth removed?

If the NHS are doing them for free, they must be pretty bad as the threshold is so high. I’d go for it.

My daughter is almost at the end of her time with braces, she needed 2 teeth out and I had a massive wobble. Her teeth now look fantastic, and her face shape has changed for the better, it was the right decision. Also, when teeth are straight it’s easier to clean them to avoid issues in the future. If you son is keen to have straight teeth then hopefully he’ll embrace the retainer.

2 things stand out from your OP

1. He doesn't smile showing his teeth.
2. He refused at 14yrs old, but then requested the braces at 16yrs old.

Both of these things show that he is not happy with his teeth as they are, and likely never will be happy with them.

Deciding 'no' now is only kicking the decision farther down the road, to the point where the treatment will no longer be free.

He will have to get the braces to get teeth he IS happy with, so better to get it done now, before it's too late.

My DD is autistic and needed braces. She got them at 14yrs old, and although they took a bit of getting used to, we both kept the goal in our sights, rather than focusing on the initial discomfort?

I'm happy to say that after a year she went from permanently fixed braces to night only clip in/out ones, and has had beautiful teeth ever since.

Take the plunge, because his teeth will only get worse without treatment.

100% worth it, you will
see results pretty quick, DD had a tooth up in her gum, it came down so quick. Take the free treatment, if he changes his mind and decides as an adult £3500 plus.

I'd try to encourage him to get the braces. It will be so worth it in the long run.
I should've had braces when I was his age - I didn't and I really really regret it.
He might be on the fence again now because he is nervous and that's understandable, but this is where you swoop in to help encourage him and reassure him that it's really worth it🙂
I wish my parents did that rather than take the piss out of me before I even got the braces on (which I know you're not doing op), if they'd have just encouraged me that tiny bit I would've had them sorted and not hate my smile at my big age today.

The referral will be for something other than cosmetic issues - NHS orthodontics is very difficult to access so there are real issues to resolve. Crowded teeth are more difficult to clean especially in between so whilst there are no issues with decay up till now this may become an issue in future - especially when they become young adults and don’t have mum taking them to the dentist regularly! Take the opportunity to fix things now.

Definitely have the free treatment. I didn't have decent orthodontic treatment as a teenager and was always very self conscious of smiling. I eventually paid for adult braces. I'm so glad I did but it takes longer to move teeth when you're older and it cost a fortune. I wear a retainer at night now and barely know I've got it in. Good luck - it'll be worth it.

My daughter is 13 and will need braces - she has two teeth that sit higher in her gum. She has a ton of sensory issues so is a bit worried about it, she just has to wait for her other junior teeth to fall out.

My DS got his in the NHS. It's not fun but his teeth are better now although he's given up with the retainer. If you can afford it pay for a wire to hold them in place afterwards. Nhs wont pay for that

My daughter is autistic and has just had her braces off. She was not happy the day they went on but adjusted within 24 hours and was fine for the 12 months she wore them.

it will be fine. I’d go for it.

It’s not vanity, if your teeth are wonky / overlapping you can’t brush them properly and will lead to long term decay so on those medical grounds I would

Both my autistic dds have nighttime retainers. I was worried about how they would cope with them but they just got on with it. They were told to wear them every night for a year then it would only be a couple of days a week, but both still wear them every night as they know of cases where teeth have moved back.

If you both struggle to make decisions, go with the advice of the professionals. If the NHS is funding them, it will be because they are needed for more than just cosmetic - teeth alignment can affect bite and jaw and cause more long term damage that you won't notice yet, but would later in life.

If he senses you are on the fence it will affect his decision and you know it will improve his confidence to have a better smile. My GS had 4 teeth out at 14 and is now on the retainer stage, all free on the NHS, why wouldn't you! Please try and get your head round it and your calmness will rub off on him and, from my experience of taking GS, they will make sure he is comfortable and relaxed. Oh, the retainers nowadays are thin and unnoticeable and I have to double check he's wearing them. Good luck x

My DH has been self-conscious about his teeth his whole life. I don’t think I have a single photo of him where he is smiling with his mouth at all open. When everything moved to Teams/Zoom video conferences and he was seeing himself on screen, it made it worse. He is finally now spending a small fortune getting them fixed (not braces in his case but crowns, etc) and is so much happier. He is 52. That’s a lot of decades he’s wasted feeling self conscious. Don’t let that be your DS.

Yes to make space in the mouth for moving it around

Thank you I will do this

Thank you. This reassures me a lot

I'm really grateful to you all.
Thank you

I hate my mind, it's a nightmare I'm every day life but I've had a long period of trauma and it's like a frightened fog regarding everything.

Thank you for being calm sensible and realistic.

I had all the same worries before my child with asd got braces aswell but honestly it's been pretty much perfect. They come off at the end of the month, after around 2.5years

He should definitely do it. A snaggle tooth will make him far less attractive and crowded teeth are harder to keep clean and cavity-free. It's a no-brainer tbh.

How did today go @HedgehogOnTheBike ?