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Desperate for help- what to do regarding ds11

3 replies

PinkChaires · 09/06/2025 21:17

Ds is totally non verbal with virtually no understanding. He is frequently very very violent towards himself (hitting) and is starting to be towards others. He can have several of these meltdowns a day. Its gotten a lot worse over the past year, since he started puberty. It basically cannot go on like this, my husband is having panic attacks and angina brought on because of the stress, my teen daughters cannot revise because of his crying and violent behaviour and my baby dd isnt getting enough of my time. We basically cannot do anything as a family, and i as his carer cannot go out which is very isolating and taking a toll on my mental health. Referral to social services is recent , and the in the initial visit i was told that i could have £750 to find a sitter to take him out. They then proceeded to tell me that they think its unlikely anyone would take him on?? I said so whats next, and then they sat there and said not sure???? Im in Manchester, and im 90 percent sure that as baby dd grows up im just not going to be able to deal with him anymore. My teen dd currently has bruises where he grabbed her head and banged his head against hers

OP posts:
Endofyear · 09/06/2025 23:02

So sorry you are all going through this 😢 social services should be doing much more - you need a referral to psychology, SALT and OT to get a full assessment and a positive behaviour support plan in place. Also, ask about respite care. Is your son at special school? How do they manage his behaviour? Do they have residential facilities so that you and the rest of the family can have a break? I do totally understand how difficult it is - my son is 31 nonverbal autistic and learning disability and has just moved into supported living. It's been horrendously stressful in the lead up but he is settling in well and honestly I think it will be much better for him. There's absolutely no shame in needing more support 💐

24Dogcuddler · 09/06/2025 23:11

So sorry it sounds so difficult for all of you and of course your DS. I was going to say Puberty triggers but you mentioned in your post. Does he see a Paediatrician regularly ? Maybe via school. Are school aware of your difficulties at home?

Sounds like he’d need 2 to 1 if you could get funding for people to take him out.
Can you get funding for a Safespace for his bedroom?

Have you been directed to the Local Offer online to look what opportunities there are for support or respite. Is there a scheme for the school holidays?

https://safespaces.co.uk/safespace/

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