I think the process of recovery is difficult and is one that does have to be encouraged along by clinicians, and sometimes that can feel like too much pressure too quickly.
I dont think that anything you've posted is unreasonable, except being shaken awake which is inappropriate. It all sounds like normal steps towards a discharge, working along a care plan. It is very normal and appropriate to be getting off sleep meds for example, and also normal for them to no longer be doing the baby care. Otherwise you risk mothers becoming institutionalised and that transition to home is infinitely harder, because there wont be a team of staff at home for baby then either, as you know!
However, it sounds like they could do with keeping you more informed of their plan, and also of including your thoughts in your plan. Do you attend your weekly reviews? It would be reasonable to ask them to give you fair warning of the changes they are planning to make in that week e.g. if they're reducing or changing medication, it would be good to know how much and when. You could also ask them to explain the goals they have for you in the week - e.g. if they want you to be able to run an errand by yourself, or if they want you to have day leave etc. If you have these things in advance, they probably wont feel any less scary, but at least they wont be such a shock.
I guess also just to say that the aim is not to be entirely healed, cured, panic attack free etc before going home. You'll still be unwell when discharged - the aim of an MBU is not to 'fix' to the point of you skipping down the path into rainbows. I think mental health services perhaps aren't clear enough about their expectations for treatment - it is all about least restrictive practise, so once youre able to be treated in the community again, you'll be sent home to continue the work. I was very poorly perinatally and now work sort of adjacent to the system and its something I try to make sure mums understand, because I remember being so desperate for someone to fix me that I had all my hopes on the team being a magic cure. In reality I still had panic attacks in public and I still had many days when I thought about ending our lives, but the team had done the work with me to make those much less frequent and give me strategies to cope when they did happen.
The battle should be you and the team against your illness, try not to let it become you against them because all you'll do is distance yourself from the support you need to recover.