‘Love them like my own’ when it comes to step children?

[LotsOfSmallThings]

So I see this quite often on here - posters saying they love their step kids like their own/the same as they love their own biological children. And I always wonder, really? Actually, really, do people feel exactly the same about their SC as their own children that they carried and raised and nurtured and loved from before they were even born? I just don’t get how it’s possible!
I have both DC and DSC and we are generally a happy, functional blend but when I see the ‘love them like my own’ thing it makes me feel like an arsehole because I absolutely do love my DSC, a lot, but not remotely in the same way I love my own DC - it’s just not comparable.
So I suppose my question is AIBU to actually NOT love my DSC like my own, but in a different way that is specific to them? And if you have SC, where do you fall on this/how do you love them and how do you feel about it?

Cold words cold heart.

Thank you.

The implication in the opening post is that it's not real love unless you carried them and loved them before the were born.

I didn't see the need for the shrugged shoulders either.

I am doing a large flounce out of the thread now. If you could see it, you'd be impressed😎

My ex husband loves his step children more than his own he ditched his bio children a long time ago

Why? Isn't it better that I recognise this about myself and not make some poor kids unhappy? 🙄

Much better. And totally fine to feel that way x

I can’t imagine loving someone else’s kids exactly as my own. I would think that weird tbh.

What a needlessly horrible post. She was just being honest about her personal feelings. No need to respond to her so nastily at all.

I felt a similar level of attachment to my step kids as I did to my nephews. You care deeply for them, and want the best for them, but it's not comparable to your own kids.

I love my dsc. Dh loves my dc. We also have dc together. They are all treated the same , parented the same.
But to love exactly the same as my own, no not quite. And that's OK.

I might love my DSC more if their mum didn’t punish me for every bit of love I try to show them.

Honest words and they have said they will never be a stepmother so why are you getting defensive over mythical children who don't and won't ever exist

YANBU, you can care for stepchildren deeply but I feel like you can never truly love them like your own

I definitely couldn’t love anyone’s children like my own, in fact I struggle to even be around other people’s children, but being a single mum ive been told my own chance now is men with kids but I don’t fancy being a step parent 🤔 on the other hand my dad definitely loved my sister more than me and I’m his biological child and she isn’t so it’s possible.

I think a lot depends on circumstances.

DS1 is technically DSS. His mummy died when he was a baby and I've been in his life since he was 3. He asked to call me Mum at 9. He's now 25 and I do love him the same as I do my biological children.

❤️