AIBU to wonder if this is dementia in MIL

[Sabire9]

... or something else. Would appreciate your insights.

MIL is 82. Widowed 2 years ago and has been in not great health for as long as I've known her - 30 years. She's got a pacemaker, has T2 diabetes, has had her spleen removed, has diverticulitis and arthritis. She looks very fragile to me.

Over the weekend she told me she sees her husband and her mother in the sitting room of her house, and that 'they look as real as I'm seeing you now'. She says they don't answer her when she talks to them, but she still talks to them. She said when she gets up to make herself some lunch they disappear, but come back eventually.

My husband told me that she was talking to him the other day, and he realised she thought she was talking to her father.

She said when she tells her children (DH and his three sisters) they sort of dismiss it, saying that it's probably because she's fairly newly widowed, but she is worried it's the start of Alzheimers. She asked me if she should get her doctor to assess her. She's already spoken to the GP who didn't seem to think she had dementia, but is to all accounts a bit of a useless doctor, so I don't know how much that's worth.

MIL strikes me as pretty on the ball mentally apart from this. She doesn't often repeat stories, and you can have a good conversation with her. She's a retired nurse and pretty intelligent.

Has anyone else come across this in an elderly parent? My own mum is 90 and also frail. She's got pretty repetitive and forgetful recently, and I know she's experiencing some cognitive decline, but MIL's seeing dead people seems different.

If her eyesight is poor, this can induce hallucinations without it being dementia. As she has said that this symptom is upsetting her, I would book her a GP appt to discuss it.

A UTI can mimic symptoms in an elderly person. Might be worth getting that checked out.

Could be part of grieving perhaps? My elderly MIL has said things like she thought she saw her dead husband waiting for her outside the house, and also has a friend who talks to her husband's ashes.

It's hard to tell though. I mean would a diagnosis help anyway if she is managing Om generally? it might be useful for something lime attendance allowance perhaps but there isn't much they can do about it really.

This. My late MIL was hospitalised and suffered symptoms of seeing a shadow figure in her peripheral vision. Has a name, something syndrome. Could be similar?

It’s brilliant that she’s alert to dementia though. My mum is clearly unwell with it now but in complete denial.

Diagnosed early, there are treatments that can slow progress. Take her to GP.

100% another (hopefully better) GP will take this more seriously. I think the seeing people as though they are real and believing son to be his father are certainly things that people with dementia experience.

Seeing things can also be a sign of infection & I’m fairly sure that I saw something where it was a symptom of complications in diabetes so she definitely needs to be checked out.

A uni friend had this for a while - turned out they had a benign cyst on the brain which was causing it so it’s definitely worth getting it checked, if only to reassure yourself

Could be a number of things. However, I lost my partner I was living with at 24 years old and for thr first few years I could see him all the time. It was a scary and overwhelming experience, which faded overtime. It can br part of the grieving process for some people.

It is interesting that she sees them clearly but has enough understanding to know that they are not real. A GP appt seems like a very good idea

Thank you everyone, lots of food for thought.

She's seen the doctor today at a clinic specifically for elderly people, so hopefully they'll take what she's saying seriously.

I think the thing that has struck me most was the fact that she was adamant that she sees them so clearly that she feels that they are absolutely present in the room, even though logically she knows they are dead.

My Dad has Alzheimers and has started to say to my Mum that he sees people in the house that aren’t there.

@Sabire9 the fact that she sees them but knows they're not really there is not characteristic of dementia. If she believed they were there it would be. In other words she's experiencing a visual hallucination rather than a cognitive disorder.
Have a look at Charles Bonnet syndrome.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/charles-bonnet-syndrome/

Yes, that’s what MIL had with severe UTI! Very specific, big black hat and cape. Sounded like Dick Dastardly. Would have been funny were it not also alarming!

My mum has dementia and before dad died he was able to mask it. We knew she was getting forgetful but it becamse really apparent after he died. Saying that, it sounds like she is pretty alert and on the ball in other ways. 2 years is nothing after loosing a life partner (I found this the hardest time) so grief could be a feasible explanation.

Yes this.

Is it relevant that she sees them before she goes to make lunch, after which they disappear but eventually return? Is her diabetes well-managed? Is she eating well in the morning? Would she say they return around her evening mealtime?
Could be irrelevant, but it stood out.