To think that people don’t want to see PDAs in the swimming pool?

[IShouldNotCoco]

I invited my dp to come to David Lloyd with myself and our child who is 4 and whilst we were there he kept pinching my bum and trying to kiss me. I told him to stop.

I do care about him but he’s so immature and it really bothers me. I’m in my 40s and he’s in his 50s. He’s very attention seeking. Tbh, it gets me down at times. And he seems to be worse since his hair went grey and all of a sudden he needs constant validation that he’s desirable etc. I just don’t think that most people of 57 behave like this.

AIBU to just want a mature adult to be with? He thinks I need to lighten up.

I don’t really want to see it anywhere.

Reminds me of the old signs you used to see in swimming pools saying ‘No Petting’, lol. Showing my age now!

I’d be mortified. He’s completely inappropriate.

Didn't they have the "no heavy petting" sign up?

I do care about him but he’s so immature and it really bothers me. I’m in my 40s and he’s in his 50s. He’s very attention seeking. Tbh, it gets me down at times. And he seems to be worse since his hair went grey and all of a sudden he needs constant validation that he’s desirable etc. I just don’t think that most people of 57 behave like this.

Sounds like you've gone off him. It happens.

Me too! I don’t want to see people doing it so I’d expect them not to want to see me doing it!

As a kid I was so mystified by the signs at the pool saying 'no petting'. Don't be the reason that some other child figures out what petting is and that, indeed, no one wants to see it!

Didn't they have the "no heavy petting" sign up?

David Lloyd doesn’t have this. At least, I can’t see one. But I did tell him that some pools do remind people to keep their hands and mouths to themselves.

Kind of creepy of him to do that in a public pool. Not ok.

What's PDA? I thought it was some kind of iPad

I was always puzzled by that one as well!

I understood what smoking, bombing and running along the side were; but as an innocent child, I assumed that one must be to tell people they couldn't bring their cats and dogs in with them or something!

@SherlockHolmes in case you are being serious
PDA = Public Display of Affection

Public display of affection.

He's being an exhibitionist to counter his realization that he's aging.

Or, he could be becoming sexually inappropriate in public because losing his filters due to dementia. Time for a checkup and screening.

Whatever, there's a time and place. A public swimming pool is not the place for PDA.

And he seems to be worse since his hair went grey and all of a sudden he needs constant validation that he’s desirable etc. I just don’t think that most people of 57 behave like this.

I mean, time and a place for trying to kiss his wife but to be fair to the guy, as we all get older don’t we all get a little insecure? Don’t we all need a reminder that our partner still fancies us?

The last person, I suspect, who wants to see that is your 4 year old who you brought with you. So I totally agree that would give me the ick and put me off.

There’s a time and place for a quick kiss/squeeze of the bum and a public pool with a child in tow and multiple other families around is NOT it.

Wanting validation is totally understandable on his part, it’s the wanting it in a family environment at an inappropriate time which is unreasonable.

On a side note, I think you may be realising that you aren’t right for each other and that your maturity levels are too different and this is accentuating the ick for you - maybe time to re-think if this is a relationship you still want?

For those of us old enough to remember

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/126961276937?chn=ps&_ul=GB&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-134428-41853-0&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=126961276937&targetid=2406300041925&device=m&mktype=pla&googleloc=1006507&poi=&campaignid=21697381820&mkgroupid=171410935890&rlsatarget=pla-2406300041925&abcId=10027101&merchantid=236031406&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21697381820&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjJrCBhCXARIsAI5x66Ujufg3FSsEVYKglL6IfyxdqSmrowJZJq7_euW7FTCOBnG4E8iZ_REaAm4-EALw_wcB

I wouldn't mind a peck or a quick bum pinch in the pool, but you obviously do and he should respect that. From the title, I was expecting at least some fingering...

Thanks. Have heard the expression but never seen it as PDA before

Just say no. It’s grim to see people canoodling in the pool

Be a benefactor and donate a sign or two to the pool, Op.

Eww no, that's a bit off if you ask me! In the sea on holiday, yes, been there, done that, with very few people around and I checked first! But not in a public swimming pool, especially where there are kids! Maybe the water tickling his nethers got him frisky?!
Either way I think he needs to grow up and learn how to he appropriate in public places!