To have a night away

[Tiredandtiredagain]

Last night a read a thread on here about someone who has booked a night at a PI, because their DH was being unpleasant. the stay with a take away a bed to themselves and a soak in the bath sounded lovely (not the reason),

I am currently working meeting chemo, I’m having a lot, but between sessions I do get days when I am “fine”, can enjoy lunches, coffees etc.

Before I was diagnosed with BC, I used to stay away for work maybe once a quarter, not a lot, but always enjoyed it.

I’m now working from home, my DH has retired.

So, my DH has been honestly fabulous, he has helped, cared and supported me with absolutely no complaints at all.

But, after reading about that PI stay, I crave 24 hours alone, to do nothing, to read, eat a takeaway but not talk to anyone. For no good reason, other than I just do.

But is this hugely insulting to my DH? Or maybe he’ll be glad of the “break”, not that he’d every say that.

How would you feel in my DHs position?

YANBU Go, it’ll do you both good

YABU He will feel he’s not doing it right because why would you need a night away?

Gosh a lot of typos, but you can hopefully make out what I’m saying!

Why don’t you book your DH a night away as a treat, that way you’ll also get a night to yourself without the guilt.

I know for a fact he would never do that, he would honestly think he was deserting me. he’d also say he didn’t need a break.

We’ve also got a large dog, who I can’t walk effectively at the moment.

It would be a good alternative though.

I generally go away for a couple of nights by myself every year. DP has never taken offense. I'll bugger off to London or somewhere and go do all the museums and things that she'd have no interest in.

She tends to go away with friends, whereas I prefer the solitude.

Yes, if DH isn’t likely to go away then you do it! It’s absolutely fine, and good for the soul.

Oh you understand…. Honestly this will be good for my soul!

I used to love a night on my own in a hotel too.
Your DH will understand, he sounds lovely.
All I would expect in his position is that you call to say goodnight and that I could drive you there and back.
Enjoy your break!

During “normal” times, it would’ve been fine. I’m just little worried at him thinking I want to get away.

I think a good idea though is to just say let’s keep things normal and this is a way (whilst everything else is slightly off track).

YANBU, you’re free to do just that! You can literally just do that, book into a hotel down the road any time you like! I might do that in a couple of weeks actually, haven’t done so since my boys were little so about 6 years ago!

Oh I most definitely would.

You’re right, he is lovely and he’s had to watch a lot in the past six months, Surgery, hair loss and worry from me and he’s been 100% with me.

I’m hoping he will go out and have a bloody blast and let his hair down for 24 hours.

Actually, I genuinely think this is a good idea for both of us.

You’ve all made me decide already.

That was quick.

I’ll talk to him tonight, we both need a break, I was over analysing and it’s just fine.

Do it OP! Maybe mention that you're planning to use the hotel pool and sauna (or whatever) as you think it will really help you relax from the stressful time you're having. You don't have to actually use them but it might sound "better" than that you're just planning to read and have a takeaway!

It's all in the way you phrase it. "I've booked myself a night at a PI so you can relax and enjoy yourself; you more than deserve it and I really want you to have an evening to yourself. Don't give me a second's thought -I'm looking forward to the solitude and time to read so don't worry about me. Love and appreciate you so much xxx"

Or you just say that you’re actually just craving a little normality. You being away in a hotel like you used to do. Your husband sounds lovely, and I’m sure would understand