Catastrophising about hills and steps where I live

[citygirl1961]

I have severe general anxiety order. I am on medication, done CBT courses etc but I still can't stop worrying.

My main worry is that I live in a flat which I absolutely love. To cut a long story short I left this estate years ago and got the chance to come back (I rent from the Council), it was like a miracle how I get offered this flat. I moved from a ground floor flat with a bus stop across the road (but not such a good area) to where I live now, where I've always wanted to be. I've been here for six years now and all I've done since then and still do is worry.

My flat is at the top of the hill (not awfully steep but it is a hill) and its on the upper floor (two storeys). I am almost 64, I am fit and can walk quite fast. I have no mobility issues at all but I worry about a time when I may have these issues as I get older and worry that I might have to move and the Council could put me anywhere. Its like I can't believe my luck that I've got a flat here again and am living in fear of something spoiling it.

My next door neighbour is 82 and she manages, as do other elderly people who live here. But I can't stop worrying. I know that if I moved I would regret it like I did before.

I feel more secure living upstairs than I did when I was on the ground floor. I manage the hill and in the snow I wear ice grippers. In fact I've fallen down more on flat roads in nice weather, not fallen on the ice yet.

I can't stop worrying about the future. Friends try to advise me that its pointless worrying about something that may not happen and I am safer here than where i lived before as the upper floor is more secure I got burgled twice where I lived before but the Council put me an alarm in and it didn't happen after that. I can't seem to get these negative thoughts out of my head.

I suspect it's the hill and the stairs keeping your 82 year old neighbour in good nick

I came on to say exactly the same.
Staying mobile and active is key in old age isn’t it. Think of the old women living on the French coast or Italian mountains - that’s steep!

Anxiety is awful, im sorry you're struggling.

If it helps, I watched a documentary about places in the world where lots of people live past 100. One of the areas studied was a village on a steep hill. People there didn't just live longer than average, they lived longer than their neighbours in a village at the bottom of the hill.

Regularily walking up hills and stairs is fantastic for your health.

If you do have mobility issues later in life to the extent that you can't live there then you would likely be able to go into supported accommodation which is usually nice bungalows surrounded by other people of a similar age, very different to your old flat which sounded awful!

I understand where you nares coming from and I am also 64. I have severe ba k issues and osteoporosis and worry about slipping over.
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I do pilates to help my balance and to keep my core strong. I just avoid going out when it's icy.

Might a stick help with your confidence. I don't use one but could be tempted by walking poles.

It is no good just doing a CBT course. You have to practice the techniques you learn.

All the walking will be marvellous at staving off ageing. You are probably in a really good spot for just general activity which will keep you fit and healthy. Someone has already mentioned pilates, I would chuck in some yoga to keep your core strong and lessen the chance of a fall. Anxiety is a terrible thing and can be very debilitating. Try and turn your thinking round, this is a marvelous place that everyday helps me stay fit and strong.

I suffered anxiety symptoms for 30 years.On and off medication . I have overcome them, in the past 5 years, by staying on low dose citalopram, and forcing my thought patterns to stop, and switch to something else,as soon as a spiral started. You can do it OP. My symptoms were severe. I also fill my days with activity and social interactions. My mental health is the best it's ever been. Your move sounds very positive - if you move again, you'll find something else to be anxious about. Stay and be determined to change your thought patterns. I am proof it can be done (to the amazement of my family).

She has got COPD too. She does get a taxi home up the hill though, but gets the bus going out. She manages the stairs OK, even with her heavy shopping trolley.

I don't need a stick now as I am mobile. I just worry about the future.

Thank you for your encouragement. I am on Citralopram too. The medication does help, I wouldn't cope at all otherwise. I keep trying to use the CBT techniques, try to change my thoughts, use worry time etc but the worries go round in circles. Friends have said to me too that if I move again I will regret it and then worry about wanting to come back here. I work full time which keeps me occupied but I am due to retire in three years, I worry about that, what will I do to fill my time, will I be able to afford my rent etc, though I will get a good Civil Service pension plus the state pension so people tell I will be fine but all I do is worry.

My previous flat was very nice but the area not so good, though I did settle there until I found the flat I'm in now. The good thing was that there was a bus stop bang outside my flat, I don't have that now but then again I don't suppose you can have everything.

Hi OP, I also have GAD, not as severe as yours by the sound of it, but I have some experience of it, and I also have a lifetime physical condition which makes life very difficult. What has helped with anxiety about the future is thinking of the resources I have. Life is probably never going to be easy for me, and it’s never going to be entirely arranged to my liking because that is impossible with my condition, but I’ve got skills and assets which I can draw on in whatever situation I find myself.

You are obviously competent at life as you work full time and you got a Council flat in the exact area you wanted to be. You can’t know the future, but your choice of where you live sounds perfectly sensible when you made it. You could either decide to future- proof now and e.g look for a mutual exchange to a place that’s more suitable for potential loss of mobility in the future. Or, you could practise telling yourself that IF your mobility decreases, you will have the skills and resilience to manage at that point.