So it’s a long story, I just need some input here on if it is generally me with the problem or it’s my ex as j feel as if I am going crazy.
I was with my ex for 10, the first two years we were deeply in love and it was the perfect relationship and he was the perfect guy.
As soon as he started hanging around with his brother who had been out the picture for a number of years due to him having people after him he had to moved city but then moved back.
All of a sudden plans revolved around his brother and all I would hear was about his brother and how amazing he was.
He did the same when he met me, would say I was the only person he knew who could afford to buy a Gucci bag and had their own house etc.
I feel as if he gaslighted me until someone better came along as in terms of wealth, money etc.
At this point he lost complete interest me and every weekend he would be with his brother who is a musician.
He even told me “I love my brother more than you”.
If I tried to explain I felt pushed to the side I was told “I am coming in between him and his brother.”
I left him soon after but he wouldn’t leave me alone.
Calls, texts etc.
We tried again but this time he left me as “he didn’t know what he wanted” but yet still wouldn’t leave me alone.
Again he still kept in touch.
I know I should of changed my number and moved on 100% but I always thought maybe it could go back to how it was when we first met.
By this time I had hit 33 and still in the same situation and we both wanted children.
I ended up getting pregnant and he was back to his old loving self for abit.
When DC was born he was back to his old usual horrible self again.
By this time I sold my house and moved closer to my own family as I was not getting any emotional support from him at all after going through a near death experience giving birth.
DC was 10 months old when I moved.
Now the abuse is 100 times worse despite him
not living with me anymore.
He lives 45 minutes away and complains about the drive etc even though even before I moved I was doing 99.9% of the childcare anyway.
Its come to the point where we literally despise each other.
I have to take tablets now because just even being near him makes me severely depressed.
He stays for the weekend then goes back despite me asking him to get a hotel and offering to pay half towards it just so he isn’t in my home.
He will belittle me, talk down to me, tell me what to do, argue with anything I say, I feel as if I am on egg shells.
He complains about sleeping on the sofa and dosent understand why I don’t want him in my bed despite us not being in a relationship, he is crazy.
Our DC loves his father so much that he cries every time he leaves and it breaks my heart seeing DC so upset.
I get told I am stopping my ex living his life, I am holding him back and he regrets getting me pregnant because he hates me so much.
I leave him alone in the week, it’s him who contacts me asking to FaceTime DC.
He does pay me but complains he is paying me too much based on his calculations and what his friends say.
I am not even allowed in my exes flat so I really want to make arrangements where he dosent enter my property but living 45 minutes away it will be hard.
The only solution would be to get another place in his city so my DC can see his dad more.
But I am really keen to push for a formal arrangement so our contact is minimal as possible as I really can’t even be near him or talk to him for long periods as I start to feel severely depressed.
When my ex is here I don’t say anything unless I am asked a question and keep out the way until he leaves to avoid any confrontation.
I don’t know why he hates me so much as I took him on holidays to New York, Italy, Portugal, Greece and Canada in the past.
Always helped him in life, offered support and this is how he treats me.
Even if he gives me a lift I have to give him money, but yet he eats all my food and us s my utilities without offering any money.
Jusy wanted to ask for advice as I feel so depressed and if I am going crazy and it is me with the problem.
Sorry for the long post.