Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are friendships groups overrated?

7 replies

Herewegoagainno100 · 08/06/2025 19:37

I seem to have a couple of good 1-1 friendships. But any groups I’ve been part of, generally I end up feeling left out. I’ll admit I’m not the most confident, loud person. People will meet up within the group but I won’t be included. Just always feel on the outskirts of the groups I’ve stuck with. They’re mainly school friend groups. I’m thinking it’s just time to let all the schoolfriends groups go for good and stick with my newer 1-1 friendships that have been so much better for me. Problem is i find it hard to completely let go of these groups. Feels like breaking up with my past. But whenever I see them I feel left out and they talk about what they’ve done without me. Surely it’s a no brainier that I move on, so why am I finding it hard to do? I guess I just like the idea of being in a group of girls having fun but the reality isn’t really that a majority of the time. But we have had good times in the past, so I hope that I will have good times with them again but it just feels like I’ll always be on the outskirts. They act like they like to see me but thinking about it I think they’re just having fun with the group in general. I don’t feel particularly essential if that makes sense. Anyway I’ve rambled. Thanks for reading this far to my random thoughts!

OP posts:
Dangermoo · 08/06/2025 19:41

It's worse when it's a group of 3.

vincettenoir · 08/06/2025 19:49

I don’t think friendship groups are overrated. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with preferring getting together with people one on one and a lot of people can meet all their needs that way.

It does sound like hanging out with this group doesn’t serve you particularly well. Maybe see them less regularly for a while perhaps. Then after that take a view if you want to join in on meet ups going forward.

Auroraloves · 08/06/2025 19:54

You are no obligation to carry on friendships which do not enrich your life

Somnambule · 08/06/2025 21:07

I spent most of my life feeling like this and being resigned to never having a group of friends, but finally in my mid-forties it's happened. You never know when you'll find your tribe, but don't force friendships that aren't really serving you - it's a guaranteed way to make yourself feel crap.

hideawayforever · 08/06/2025 21:36

It sounds like removing yourself from these groups would be better for your mental health anyway. There's no fun in feeling left out and anxious.
I would just concentrate on your 1 to 1 friends.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/06/2025 22:16

It's like the 3 female friends on White Lotus, there's mostly always talking behind each other's backs.

I've pulled away from big groups because of this, and friends who are in other groups always talk about the others.

Good ones must be rare as I'm yet to see a group with no back stabbing or talking behind each's back.

Herewegoagainno100 · 17/06/2025 20:04

Thank you everyone. Really appreciate you all taking the time to respond and it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Your advice has really helped me get some perspective.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread