Toddler won’t stay in bedroom

[ThisFunnyRubyGoose]

Need advice!

My son is 2 and has recently started fighting bedtime and nap times (more that usual). We have a set routine however the last few weeks he just won’t stay in his bed. He is in a toddler bed and so can easily get out. The moment I leave room he screams/cries and opens the door. He does it slightly with my DH as well however he will eventually stay in the room but with me he won’t stay there at all - this went on for over 3 hours last night!
I have tried sitting in the room, standing by the door, standing outside the door where he can see me..but nothing works as he then gets silly!

I’m 99% it is separation anxiety and he will grow out of it. But we are all so tired any advice/suggestions would be appreciated 🙏🏼

Might be time to drop the nap.

Does he still need the nap? I'd try dropping it & staying in there at bedtime til he goes to sleep.

Can you not stay with him until he falls asleep? If it's a phase of separation anxiety he just needs the reassurance and cuddles from you

It seems like he's outgrown the need for a daytime nap now.

What time do you put him to bed at night, and what time does he usually wake up?

The problem is even before he would take and hour+ to fall asleep by himself, but he would at least stay in the room. I don’t mind it he takes a while to fall asleep..I just need him to stay in the room!

Let him sleep on the sofa

My son was the same at that age, I used to read him a story, and then sit on the floor next to the bed until he fell asleep.

Yep, no nap and stay until he’s asleep. Full honesty - we’ve always stayed until they’re asleep until very recently and mine are in secondary school now! It wasn’t necessary to keep doing it for so long, obviously, but we liked that closeness at the end of the day and we’ve stopped it with no issues, so it’s done no harm. They’ve been fine on residential trips and sleepovers, etc. too. We were happier to spend 10 extra minutes in the room than an hour or more of up and down the stairs or a tired child the next day because they stayed up too late! All this to say: you won’t ruin his sleep forever because you stay with him while he goes to sleep when he’s 2. In fact, you’ll probably get your evening back rather than losing it and he’ll be happier too!

Has he not got a safety gate at the bedroom door?

Normally 7/7:30 but has taken till 9/9:30 to fall asleep.
He will then wake up at 6:30/7 ish but sometimes again recently has been waking during the night anywhere from 1am

No will live in a bungalow and didn’t seem much point! Plus when we had it on the kitchen door he learnt to open it 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is a really helpful message..thank you 🙏🏼

My DS did this when we transitioned to toddler bed and I thought it was anxiety at first. It definitely wasn't he just wanted to explore and play. He would open his door and then go play in the bathroom, switch the shower on, climb in the washing basket, jump on our bed, climb in his brothers cot. He was not bothered about coming to see us at all! We tried staying in the room with him, but that just made him think it was playtime. In the end I put a safety gate on his door. He can open the door and shout of me if needed. But he was "locked" in the room. Only took 2 days and he was back to normal, staying in bed and self soothing to sleep with a comforter. Zero issues since.

If he doesn't do it for your DH could he temporarily take over all bedtimes until your toddler stops doing it

If it comes to it, I second the gate at the door. We did this with my eldest because he wanted his door open at night when he transitioned to his toddler bed, and we were concerned about the stairs at night. it could work well for you here.
Some are much harder to open than others, and taller as well is he knows how to climb over them. There is no chance a 2 yo or even 5 yo could open ours, they wouldn't have the finger strength.

Our youngest is 2 and takes ages to sleep in the evening too. Similar to you, we put them down around 7:30pm and she could still be awake at 9:30pm. Honestly the issue is the nap and we know it, but we haven't found a way to skip it yet as it works for our routine and her brother still naps too.

Our compromise is to let her play with her books and toys in her bed as long as she is quiet. We remind her to go to bed from time to time (through the baby monitor camera). Sometimes she gets out of bed to look at the window, again we would kind of let her for a bit and then tell her to go to bed via the camera.

If she is still be awake at 9ish, we go up and she tends to go in 10 min then. There is no point going earlier for us, and we would just spend 1.5h waiting, she wouldn't go faster anyway. As t least we got our evening back. She isn't particularly tired in the morning either, she just doesn't need much sleep.