To think she’s taking the piss?

[hugsandpugs]

Getting really irritated with my sister and her behaviour and feeling like I don’t even want to bother with her anymore cause IMO she is taking the piss.

• she expects everyone in the family to rally round after her - take her food shopping, take her to and/or from work, etc.
• shes borrowing money off my parents constantly then not paying it back.
• expecting dad to give her lifts places knowing he’s really unwell and shouldn’t be driving.
• claming carers allowance for dad even though she doesn’t even go to see him hardly let alone care for him.
• goes out at least 3 evenings a week and expects her 17 year old to look after his 9 year old sister whilst she’s out drinking.

This is just some of the things. Last night my brother had a phonecall to go pick her and her daughter up at 3am because her and her violent ex boyfriend had a fight (she’s been seeing him secretly and lying to everyone). My niece tried calling the police and she took her phone off her to stop her.

I’m sick and tired of her bullshit. The whole family are under enough stress as it is with my dad being REALLY unwell without her adding to this with her shenanigans.

Im at a point where I’m beginning to distance myself from her because she’s really winding me up if I’m honest.

AIBU to think she needs to grow up and take responsibility of herself and the kids? She’s 32 ffs! Seems to be she just thrives off drama and doesn’t care about the impact she has on other people’s lives!

I’m livid that she’s took my niece to go and see this violent man and let her be around him knowing what he’s capable of! ☹️

I would definitely distance yourself, and I’d tell members of the family not to tell you what she’s up to if they’re not going to do something about it themselves.
We have this in our family and half of them stir a bit of shit then sit back with the popcorn watching the show, it got to the point where I said don’t tell me in future so the less I know the more peaceful my mind.
Not saying this is your family op but it’s going to take more than you to deal with her, and if nobody else will step up then why should you have to cope with being wound up and stressed for other people?
They all need to get her told.

If that was my niece I’d be offering to give her an out, to stay with me so she can get some time to be a normal teen. Your dad has to establish his own boundaries.

Im not good at holding back so I’d probably be giving my sister both barrels.

Oh sorry OP I see the niece is younger, your nephew is 17? I’d be offering some space to him.

She does need to take responsibility. The problem is that while you can distance yourself from her, your parents might find it more difficult. I would be fuming about her exploiting your parents for money, claiming carer’s allowance and making your unwell father drive her around. How did your brother react to being called out at 3am? You and your brother need to present a united front, and make clear to both your parents and your sister that her behaviour is totally out of order, and that you are not going to be pandering to her. If you are really worried about your niece, call social services.

Yes well this is the thing she manipulates my mum massively so they won’t distance themselves. My mum sees her as a golden child who can do no wrong, she always has done. My dad is the opposite he gets annoyed with her behaviour and the stress and pressure she puts on the family.

I am absolutely livid about everything she is doing tbh. It’s an absolute joke. My dad has got end stage liver cirrhosis and is very weak and on a tube feed at home. He is having assessments soon to see if he’s eligible for a transplant. She should be helping him now more than ever but is so selfish it’s unreal.

My brother naturally panicked when my mum called him at 3am and woke him up. He assumed something was wrong with my dad. 😣

I am going to send her a message and tell her I won’t be pandering to her every request and I hope my brother will do the same.

How is it acceptable for her to take my niece to spend time with someone she knows is violent and then they are walking the streets at 3am looking for a lift home? My niece must be traumatised by the whole thing because she was there when they were fighting etc

Yes sorry I should have specified the 17 year old is my nephew and my niece is 9.

He sometimes can’t go out with his mates because he’s got the responsibility of looking after his sister for my sister to go to work, go out drinking etc. It’s not on. She says she hasn’t had time to go and see my dad yet she only works 3 or 4 hours a day part time and that’s not everyday.

If she wanted to visit him she would.

My nephew called me one night to ask if me and DH could have my niece for him to go out with his friends as they needed him for a football game. So he’s obviously feeling like he’s missing out on things.

Im not a nasty person I’ll help people where I can but I have my own responsibilities with 3 kids and two dogs to look after and trying to visit dad and take him back and for the hospital when needed etc.

Yes this is the problem I think it needs to be everyone coming together and telling her.

My dad is not happy about all this and both me and him had a chat the other day with mum about how she’s taking the piss and mum just defended her as usual.

Not sure if my brother will speak up either but I’m just at the point where I don’t care if she never speaks to me again if I upset her by saying some home truths. IMO she needs to grow up

YANBU to be annoyed.

YABU to not be way more annoyed at those who enable it all.

Poor kids and your Dad.