To not want a house we can only afford if I work a stressful job

[harpoo]

Dh and I are looking to buy a new house. DH earns £100k and I earn £200k. My job is very stressful and I don’t enjoy it.

Dh wants to max out our budget and get something that we can only afford with an income of £300k. I have suggested it would be better if we got something we could afford on a £200k income, because I could move to a much less stressful job that would pay £100k. He thinks this is silly and we should max out now so we don’t have to move again.

AIBU to think it’s easy for him to say that when he isn’t in the stressful job?

I agree with you. It’s dangerous to ‘max out’ when so much could happen. Someone could lose their job, get ill, want to change career etc. and if interest rates soar again, you could be in trouble. Stick to your guns - and find something you love doing. You can still buy a great house.

I can’t imagine that it would be difficult to find a house you like on a 200k income. Unless he wants to live in Mayfair!

If you max out and something happens, you lose the lot. If you’re more careful and something happens, you have a buffer.

Tell him you think it’s a great idea, ask what his plans are to get a job paying £200k and how you can support him in reaching his goals.

Ok but seriously don’t do this. The interest rate rises post Tubb were a very recent reminder to us all about the importance of not overstretching yourselves. You don’t want to be in a position where you’re trapped in a job you hate (and knowing any other similarly paid role would be the same story) to stay in a house, or panicking more than you need because of redundancy or restructuring. Eventually you’ll come to resent the house and him. Don’t tell me that you couldn’t get a lovely house on a joint affordability of 200K a year.

Stress aside (but I agree with you on that btw), what happens if one of you suddenly gets hit by health problems? Obviously hopefully not but it's always foolish to max out when you don't have to/have enough income that there is a choice there!

you need to get on the same page values wise - is he aware of how you feel about your job? have you discussed options about your role ? Or is he just working from a mathematical point of view?

IMHO do not tie yourself to such a big debt and stress - you will regret being tied to that debt, it will cripple you mentally.

If it's all that simple to him, tell him to get a job that pays £200K a year and then you'll have a nice cushion if needed 😉

In all seriousness, not a good idea to max out, especially in the current financial climate. In more buoyant times and if you both had really secure jobs that you love, that would be a different matter.