I’ve done it again

[auntannie]

At the start of the year I promised myself I would try and get healthier. I’m pushing 40 and have about 2 stone I’d like to lose. I don’t exercise (other than walking), I don’t have the best diet and I drink more than I should. I did ok for the first few weeks but have gradually fallen back into old habits. Today I’ve eaten a full English and had a massive Indian takeaway and two glasses of wine.

I have always associated food and booze with relaxation and comfort. And I’m at a stressful yet boring period in my life with dc, work, no family help, just obligations day after day with no downtime so I think I’ve turned to these things even more. But as much as I enjoy it at the time, I feel guilty after and I hate the way I look.

I just can’t stick to anything. I hate exercise and can’t find the time or motivation to do it. I walk daily though. I feel like my habits are so ingrained like it’s part of my personality and lifestyle that is so hard to change. I drink probably 5 nights a week, not huge amounts usually only one glass of wine and maybe more at the weekend but it adds up to more than 14 units a week which worries me. But I do it because it’s enjoyable and easy and I don’t know how to unwind and fill that time otherwise. The same with food - I’ve become so used to Friday cheat day and Sunday takeaway. Ugh I really can’t stand my lack of willpower.

Anyone else been like this and managed to turn it around?

Hi
Long time dead!
Enjoy your life!
Xx

Healthy food is expensive and lives are stressful so don’t beat yourself up about it

I am about 11.5-12 stone at around 5’6 for reference. I’m not hugely overweight according to BMI calculator but I am in that zone. It’s more the health side I worry about. I know as we age we need to try to future proof our bodies by doing exercise and eating well but I just can’t find the will or motivation to do it. I am exhausted and busy. But I feel like it’s just bloody excuses and I need to do better.

Everything you have said, except I'm pushing 50, not 40. So many events I was going to lose weight for and nope, still 2 stone heavier than I would like. .

All I can say is that the intention is still there, which I suppose is a positive. My plan is to take a day off work at some point and come up with an 8 week menu plan ( doing a week at a time doesn't work because I forget and then just eat pasta). Exercise is a different challenge, but if I'm eating healthily, then that's a problem for another day.

And as for the wine, yep, completely get it. It's the easy option. I need to drink what we have and then just not buy more - I know that sounds obvious, but the effort of going to buy wine is much more than just taking a bottle from the rack and sticking it in the fridge. So I need to stop the Majestic runs, and hopefully my own laziness will then stop the midweek drinking.

I have no timeframe for any of this - there's always a reason to delay a week. I think I just need to bite the bullet, take some time off work to get organised and then go for it. Currently thinking week after next (can't take time off next week). Let's see!

Perhaps you could start by counting calories. An app called nutra check is great for British foods if you are in the UK.

As for drinking,could you do alternate nights and then continue to cut down from there?

There are loads of great videos on you tube around habits/motivation. Maybe one of those would trike a chord with you on achieving what you want to do.

Good luck!

Honestly it’s hard when emotions, habits etc are so intertwined with eating. And when you look at eg weekend treats a weekend becomes 3 days out of 7 and then there’s Monday blues etc…
What sort of worked for me is having a “default” healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner (plus a couple of unhealthy snacks eg a couple of biscuits with an afternoon cuppa ) and allowing myself to deviate from one of them a day. So eg green smoothie (summer) or porridge (winter) for breakfast. MN massive salad or soup for lunch. Chicken or fish, 3 types of steamed veg and mash with a bit of pesto or something for dinner. All of those are consistent but can have components swapped so it doesn’t get too samey and you get one break a day. So today if you knew you were having a takeaway you’d stick to the other two meals and maybe watch the snacks. And know you can have the full English tomorrow as your “deviation” meal.

with the alcohol id look at the wide range of no and low alcohol drinks out there and find something you like. Initially swap for that one night a week out of 5 and then go up to 2 etc. Probably won’t be wine though as they are all gross!

I was like this for aaaages.

The alcohol is making you more tired. Even if you aren't drinking to excess you will have hunger oangs from your blood sugar being altered by the alcohol (even the next day) and you will generally feel more lathergic. You need to stop for 6 weeks plus to begin to feel the benefits. If you drink a lot maybe more like 12 weeks. I quit drinking and I lost a lot of weight naturally without making any other deliberate changes just because of the calories in the alcohol and the fact I wasn't eating fried eggs etc the next day to mop up a mild hangover.

You might need to start taking multivitamins. Mostly b vitamins, iron, magnesium. Most people don't get enough and if you have even the mildest anemia you will have zero energy for anything.

If you hate exercise try instead something like yoga. Start with meditative and stretch ones not designed to make you lose weight. These help for a couple of reasons the first one is they really get you feeling in tune with yourself and become part of a rythem/routine which is a great building block for other stuff. Even a few minutes can make you more mindful for the entire day of how you treat yourself, how in control you feel and how you react to stress. This doesn't happen over night but in emotionally much more balanced when I practice daily. The second reason is that it can lead to more strenuous yoga activities, you're probably not going to be in compass pose overnight, tying yourself in knots. That's fine, it isn't about aiming to make progress it's about taking time for yourself, setting an intention and taking what you want from the moment that can achieve. I found once I started I got pretty good quite quicky. Within a year or so. You will too.

With diet, try having a smaller portion than you usually would with a bowl of miso soup or other vegetables broth based clear soup. You don't have to start by cutting out things but if you're into big portions (I am too) you can cut back on things like bread and pasta, have less but still get to enjoy the same foods and bulk it out with a soup so you feel full. High fibre foods will also keep you fuller for longer, fibre is massively underrated and you will hear people bang on about eating protein to stay full but really fibre is where it's at.

You can do it, you don't have much to lose either. Remember not to get deterred when nothing happens for the first 4 to 6 weeks, it takes ages for weight loss to kick start for some people, so stick with it and give it time. It isn't fultile and 'not working' your body just needs a bit of time to catch up occasionally. Nothing happens overnight.

No it isn't. A bowl of porridge is much cheaper than a breakfast fry up. She is looking for help. Not an enabler to help her carry on her unhealthy lifestyle.

you’re fine
meditate and breathe more
dont push yourself too much
journal
Enjoy life

I totally hear what you're saying OP. You want to feel better and try and set yourself up for better health in future, but it all feels overwhelming.
I was in the same position about 3 years ago and spent a year trying to work out what on earth to do about it, having tried literally everything previously. I have done, and am still doing, Slimpod, and it's turned everything around in so many ways. Highly recommend. The main thing I've taken from it all is that you really do need to only eat when you're hungry (I was eating when I was happy, sad, bored, upset, because there was opportunity, others were etc) AND then make the best possible choice based on the options available, making sure to have plenty of protein and veg but otherwise no particular food rules and no deprivation. So for me it means repeating similar breakfast, lunch and a late afternoon snack each day, no other eating, then a healthy meal with dh in the evening. Yes definitely move more as that has loads of healthy benefits, but actual weight loss comes from just eating less (ie only eating at meal times) and choosing well. Slimpod makes you really think about why you want to make these changes and that really helps then with the behavioural changes you need to make. It wasn't easy in that you do have to really want to change, so no "cheat Fridays" etc, but it has been simple. Do it for you, you'll be so pleased you did. Small, incremental changes soon add up into really big changes looking back!