Partner standing by whilst friends made sexual comments about an ex

[HattieH9]

If your partner had friends at yours drinking, would you expect them to challenge any extremely inappropriate comments their friends make, if you were present at the time?

DP had some of his friends over last night. My kitchen is open plan, I was in there at the same time as them for about 15 minutes when I got home from seeing my friend and was sorting some things out for the gym this morning.

They were discussing former partners, nothing much of note until one of them named an ex they were with after Uni (so about a decade ago). A comment was made that she was really attractive, to which the reply was that she has had kids since so probably won’t be the same. The friend who was with her then said that wouldn’t be a problem as she was ‘partial to taking it up the arse’.

Now, for me, that’s a line crossed and I’m upset my DP stood by listening and didn’t tell them to tone it down. Unacceptable in my company or others, as far as I’m concerned.

DP said today that it wasn’t intended for my ears and that he believes in free speech so it wasn’t his place to censor the conversation.

AIBU to feel pissed off with him?

What was he supposed to do though in all seriousness...

"Excuse me Keith... how dare you speak that way infront of my delicate wife. Her feminine ears should not have to listen to your misogynistic comments and sexual remarks - she is but a fair female and not equipt to listen to these brutish tales of yours. Away with you now!!"

Cringe. He was with his friends! Next time don't linger in the kitchen for 15 minutes if you don't like the way they speak.

I wouldn't like that either. More that he was hanging round with people that don't have a basic grasp of biology and think it's acceptable to stage off womens post child bodies.

I'd be annoyed if he was joining in or laughing his head off but I do think it's difficult to speak up in this situation

Slag off!

Crude coarse conversation that your partner is comfortable being part of.

Not all men speak like that about women but your partner is one.

I wouldn't be impressed at all.
Low class behaviour.

he knew you were there. He deliberately wanted to shock you. I think the best thing is to no reaxt to dickheads

No, he could've said "Fucking hell, Keith, don't talk about your ex like that."

He could have said "fuck off with your misogynistic crap Keith. Its 2025, not 1975. I'd rather talk about something else"

Do you?

yes - women talk about penis size.

but they tend not to dehumanise men in the process, or suggest they are past their sell by date because they’ve had kids.