To not spend as much on class birthday presents?

[Lilybg]

DD is finishing reception this year. We've been invited to class parties throughout the year and for most ive either gotten a present around £10 mark (usually something like a book, bubble wand and little toy) or given a £10 smyths voucher with a bag of sweets.
We've just had DDs party and im surprised to find most have either given £15 cash or £15 voucher along with a little present or sweets etc.
Feeling a little embarrassed that we've clearly been under spending all year on other's gifts.
I know its probably not a massive deal but imaging now when kids have opened the present from my DD and feeling its a bit cheap?
AIBU not to have spent as much as what everyone else has all year?

I've never looked at the value, just been thankful they have given a gift. My youngest recently had a birthday party, he had a few gifts but mostly money, either £5 or £10. Every gift gratefully received. I give what I'm comfortable with

I always think give what you can afford. £10 here is generally the norm, one friend gave my son £20 once though which we were shocked by.
I don't think you should judge by the value of the gift and I know my children never look at that, but are more interested in what the gift is e.g. a stationery book and pen set from home bargains costing a few pounds was as gratefully received by my daughter as a squishmallow soft toy

£10 is a perfectly generous gift for a 5 year old you barely know. People spend what they choose and can afford. What you sent is completely enough.

This was me but I was much cheaper and spent a fiver in b&m and when it was my daughter’s birthday we received big Lego sets, Barbie’s, and even a few £20 notes. Moving forward I spent a tiny bit more and now’s she’s older and only really has parties of her close friends I do spend more on something a bit more special, but in reception when I was a party every week (even two the same day sometimes) it all adds up.

I don’t think the parents minded- I wouldn’t care what my daughter got, she was happy with anything and obviously the parents didn’t pay much attention as we got nice presents in return. Just go with what you can afford.

Honestly I don't think about it too much. If I know the child and know they are into something specific then I spend a bit more. However if it's just a classmate then I usually just stick a fiver in a card.

You're fine! £10 is more than enough for a small child's birthday. I spend £3 - £4 sometimes (depends what shop I'm in and if I can get hold of something that looks ok!). I spend more for my kids' best mates or cousins etc.

My youngest is 5 and had a few parties recently, I take him into b&m and let him choose something upto £15, sometimes he maxes the budget, other times he's chosen something just under a tenner. I don't spend the exact same on every child, just make sure we're getting something that matches their interests as much as possible (I ask about interests when I RSVP if they're not close friends)

Around £10-15 seems to be about right based on the presents his friends gave at his party.

My DC always loved a bag of sweets more than a gift. He got a box of Malteasers once and in class the following week the teacher asked what he'd had for his birthday, he'd had some lovely thoughtful gifts but all he could remember was getting the whole box of Maltesers from a class mate.

We always used to give the box of malteasers!

FWIW I normally gift a voucher as it's quicker and I have no idea what the child already has or might like, also no wrapping paper needed.

Any decent person will appreciate the thought and effort you went to 🥰

I’ll probably sound miserly but I detest gift giving of this type. My kids don’t need 25-30 random tat gifts that they don’t need. It’s overwhelming, unnecessary and wasteful.

Thats not to insult your gift giving, OP, as I also give £10 random gifts because it’s expected. I just hate it and wish we could do away with the whole concept!

Worse is that I have twins, so get circa 60 tat gifts.

It’s mainly £12-15 round here

It's fine. I doubt anyone is making notes on this.

£10 is generous for kids you don’t know who are only reception age. In class parties, my dd tended to give and receive gifts, vouchers or money of around £5. Closer friends about £10 but no more. Even for my high school age DS, I only give £10 cash for friends bdays and wouldn’t ever expect more than that back

15-20£ seems to be the norm here. My son actually got 30£ from two different classmates. I felt embarrassed because we had "only" given 20£ at their bday. Seriously OP you can't win, someone will always give more or less than you.

I wish people would start a fiver party tradition - just a fiver in a card towards a bigger present and thank you notes stating what it's been spent on. I know someone who had triplets born at the beginning of the year who managed to swing it for their classmates as who wants to buy for 3!

Five to 10 around here seems average but it's a poor area so I assume that makes a significant difference

A set of twins gave nothing when they came to my son’s paint ball party. The party was expensive and it was a joint one for both my sons as their birthdays are 2 weeks apart.
When they didn’t give a card or a present I just assumed they didn’t have much money. I was still glad they came to the party. My sons remember the parties they had but not the presents as they are 16 and 18 now. I am grateful to those that did bring presents but it was always a range. £5 and some sweets is appreciated. A £15 is appreciated.
Ive just remembered that the twins actually offered and helped me hand out the cake at the end of the party. They were sweet boys. Went to different secondary schools though.

So you giving £10 or a present worth that is fine and I’m sure it was appreciated. Always best to make the effort to go if possible and bring what you can.

£10 is more than enough.
I tended to do £15 or £20 for whole class parties merely because I have twins.
Luckily, there have been no whole class parties this year.

My son has a friend and I know their family struggles. They will buy a present that is £2-3. Which is completely fine. I honestly don’t think people look too much at the value of things.

People give cash to 5yos at birthday parties? Not encountered this at all.

Present values range £5-£20 to just a card. All appreciated.

I always spend less than £10 on classmates. I pick things up in the sale that looks more expensive. I spend more and choose something more thoughtful on their close friends.
I am always shocked at how much some seem to spend. I feel uncomfortable as my kids really don't need anything and it's just stuff. I know if be highly unpopular to suggest no gift and that only really work if everyone agrees.

Only done 3/ 4 year olds parties so far but I often snap up sale stuff, buy unopened games or toys from charity shops or the middle aisle of Aldi is great for nice books that are a couple of quid but usually 6/7 quid. I just buy whenever I see and have a big box of presents. So they might look more expensive then they actually were!

Nieces and nephews get more money and thought!

Kids don't understand the value of things at all. Mine would be just as delighted at a bag of Maltesers as some £20 thing. For the record, I would prefer loads of edible stuff so we don't have to store MORE FUCKING STUFF in our tiny house.