Argh, bullying managers/team leaders

[Pepsimaxcherryaddiction]

Maybe it doesn't constitute bullying, but I hate being spoken to like a naughty child.

I have a casual/zero hours role in a nursing home as a Care Assistant. It's a very poorly paid role with long days, I enjoy looking after residents and many staff are nice, but I hate being spoken to like dirt by certain senior staff and it's making me want to quit.

I'm 35. Worked on a different unit yesterday, thankfully only a half day. I'd been told this unit manager is 'particular' about stuff, anyway here they understandably like beds being made well by care staff.

I made a lady's bed to what I thought was a good standard, tucking in sheets properly and they like the duvet being tucked in here.
About 10 minutes later I got called back into the room by the manager.
'This is NOT what I expect' . Go and look at next door's bed, and how I've made that'

I apologised and she told me I 'need to wake up' and 'get into the habit of doing things correctly'.
This was the first time I'd ever met her! She then told me to go and 'study' how other beds were made so I could ensure it fell in line with her expectations next time.

I could understand if I'd just trashed it, but I made the bed and tucked everything in. Then she was frosty the rest of the shift (not that she was very friendly to start with!)

It's stuff like this. Makes you feel like they think they're superior and you're lowly, I feel panicky when im on shift with people like that. Would you carry on or quit?

It isn't my main job thankfully. I want to stay another month as I need to be here for 3 months to get my mandatory training paid, so another 6 weeks or so to go..

It all depends on crappy you made the bed I suppose and whether this is something you’ve been repeatedly picked up on

and given that we’ll never know 🤷

I've never been pulled up for how I made a bed before. And it wasn't badly done, the point is there is a way to speak to people, the state of the bed is irrelevant.
If she was unhappy she could've asked me to redo it, not bark at me and berate me.

You dont tell grown adults 'go and do this/that' and talk about 'meeting my expectations' over a bed.

I would expect the senior person in a care home to use both those phrases. How else do you think they should ask for things to be done. And if something isnt done right what do you expect a senior to say?

Whether your actions warranted them on this occasion we cant know.

Maybe 'could you please redo this bed'??...

I am a little perplexed. As a manager I have been employed to tell people what to do in their role, and what my expectations are. And since I only had grown adults on the staff, most employees do expect managers to tell them what to do and what their expectations are. These things are expected of managers.

The thing is these types of manager never get what they want as nothing is ever good enough and no one is every good enough you just can't win.
Keep going for the next 6 weeks to get your training paid then leave ,there's plenty of roles out there for a good carer.
Then when you do leave perhaps give her some constructive criticism you never know she may take it on board.

Of course that is what a managers role is but the way you conduct yourself and the way you speak to people is a massive part of the role.
Manners and respect cost nothing and you are going to get a lot more cooperation and respect from your staff in return if you speak to them correctly.
Speaking as someone who has experienced an unprofessional manager in the past.

I’ve been a manager for much of my career. Never spoken to anyone like that. That is demotivating and just upsets people. If you offend your team they will only do what you want if you are standing over them.
I would explain what I wanted and why politely and with a smile.

You only started training 8 weeks ago?

Of course. But we have one version of this from someone who clearly thinks they made the bed correctly regardless of the fact that it wasn't done to the standard expected - so a version tainted by being annoyed to have been told to remake it and to look at how others were made.

And will be leaving in 6 weeks.

And?

Is your other job related to care?

after 6 weeks more do you plan to remain in care work?

Maybe 'could you please redo this bed'??...

I wouldn't be saying the above as you suggested. As a manager, I wouldn't be asking you to do it, because the way you've phrased it gives the option for a 'no' response.

My approach would be 'please remake the bed, ensuring it's done to a standard of this one (and show the example).

I'd be telling you to do it, not asking if you would. But, I'd say please and thank you afterwards.

And I suspect the OP would have made a thread about this too!

⬆️
This. @Pepsimaxcherryaddiction you come across as you’re doing them a favor by working working there. As a manager/supervisor it is their responsibility and job to tell you what to do, not to beseech you to carry out tasks.

‘’The other thing that you mentioned was you had been warned this person was particular about certain things…just a word of advice if you’re forwarned about something, the smart thing to do is find out the details from that that person directly to find out how they want you to do it.

After all the terrible stories in the media about care homes, I’m rather pleased that there is at least one that demands high standards from staff. Even staff that are just using them for free training.

She probably is doing them a favour with it being a zero hour contract and poorly paid. Carers work bloody hard for shit pay, and so the least a manager can do is talk to the team they lead with a bit of respect. ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ are basic manners.

Theres a saying - A Leader makes people feel safe. A boss makes people anxious.

Nope… I’ve been a manager in environments that are challenging to staff. If you start thinking that employees are doing you a favor by being there expectations start to drop and standards plummet.

of course the OP’s role is hard, but she’s accepted that by taking the job. So once she walks in the door then she accepts the expectations.

Now saying all of the above, of course the supervisor/manager should be professional. I think the OP needs to recalibrate her expectations. It’s not unprofessional to tell an employee to redo something if they didn’t get it right.

She’s not going them a “favour” for goodness sakes

Luckily saw her earlier and she had softened a bit

This was a general example, I've no issue with being given instructions and directions from management. There have been other managers there who've asked me to do things a certain way but it was the way they asked, it was still respectful.
You dont bark at someone because there is a slight crease in the bed.
Obviously people can say whatever they want on here, but some posters are insulting it's ok to shout at someone over a bed? No its not, if I'd not made the bed or trashed it, even then. As I said i still made the bed well but it wasn't what she wanted.

Insinuating*
And again, I've zero issue with being asked to redo the bed!
A manager can still be polite. Another manager politely asked me to redo something on the PCS device.
What isn't right is someone telling you in an aggressive manner, over something as minor as a bed? And with an undertone of you being a naughty child, go and think about what you've done, sort of thing.

That's of absolutely zero relevance to this thread tbh.