My ex has been extremely inconsistent. For the last 4 years of our DD's life (she's 6), he was largely absent. He only visited around twice a year. He had an affair, moved abroad to be with the other woman, and after their relationship ended, he started another on-off one. That also ended last year, and that’s when he returned to the UK and stayed with his sister for about 5 months.
During that time, he became quite consistent, seeing our daughter almost every weekend. However, he went back abroad in March and since then, he has completely disappeared again. He doesn’t respond to calls, takes days to reply to basic messages, and DD is the one constantly chasing him for any form of contact.
This has really affected her. Recently, she messaged him saying she wasn’t feeling good, and his only reply was, “I hope you feel better.” He didn’t follow up, didn’t call, and hasn’t made any effort to check in on her. Then, 2 weeks later (yesterday), he sent her a 14-second voice note to say “Happy Eid” and promised to call later which he didn’t.
She had a friend over recently and told her, “My dad has forgotten about me.” That was so sad to hear.
We’re coming to the end of the divorce, and despite my repeated requests, he refuses to commit to any kind of consistent contact schedule. I’m now seriously considering withdrawing all contact and letting him take it to court if he wants access, because this emotional rollercoaster is hurting DD far more than no contact at all.