Getting married & haven’t invited old besties

[poppyrsu]

Is this weird. I used to have these 2 best friends. One I knew from school we were inseparable.

a couple of years back I cut ties because i found her to be too judgmental and also felt like she didn’t have my best interests at heart or couldnt be happy for me.

my other friend & I stopped talking a couple of years before this, there were a couple of incidents and ultimately we grew apart.

so although they’re not in my life anymore it just feels so weird them not being at my wedding…. AIBU?

No.

It’s be weird if you invited them

No. I had a similar situation recently. Someone I was really good friends with for many years got married. We've never fallen out but just dont see each other. I guess our friendship just ran it's course

She got married recently and I was so glad not to get invited. I had no desire to go but I'd have felt obliged to go. I'm glad she had the sense not to waste money inviting me

I know what you mean OP. Often big life events like this, having a baby etc highlight the fact that some of our friendships have moved on when we question whether or not to include them. I think you have to go with your gut feeling.

It's understandable that you feel a bit sentimental, picking through people for a wedding seems like formalising who is a friend and who isn't. You've worked out that these two aren't friends any more, and it's ok to feel slightly sad about that. Then move on and enjoy your happy day with real current friends.

It would be odd to invite them since you don't talk anymore. But it sounds like you feel some sadness about not having their friendships, because you always thought they'd be there for this big life event? Do you want to reach out to them do you think?

It might feel strange, especially after the many years you did spend together with all of the memories but thats life and we all move on. Also as we age we realise we don't always agree on lifestyles, politics etc so we naturally drift apart.

Where would the relationships go after the wedding, would you be happy to revive them or regret inviting them?

If you don't regret them not being in your life, then no need to invite.

Or is it a case of wanting to show off to them, especially the judgemental one?

When I got married I felt obligated to invite old friends, some I hadn’t seen in years. They ended up not being able to come but Looking back I wish I had invited newer friends I’d only just got to know at the time who I’ve since grown much closer to.