I can't cope anymore

[alwayshavebeenfemale]

Aibu?
My husband died very suddenly 3.5 years ago. He was my absolute rock and I loved him whole heartedly. I've missed him terribly but then last November I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I had it partially removed but have lived alone with the fear and loneliness since then.
last week I got my driving licence back 6 months after my craniotomy. I'm relishing having my independence back but just don't want to be alone.
I've got problems with my neighbour over access that he has over my land and he's chosen now to escalate it. My daughter called to see me this evening and he reported her to the police for parking across my drive but blocking his access. Quite simply I've had enough!
I miss my husband so much. It would have been our wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago but I'm here, alone, dealing with bloody access issues and I want to scream. Do people not realise how trivial the stuff they choose to cause trouble over is? Honestly I don't know what more I can cope with..
IABU - I should just get on with every unrelated issue
IANBU - I could use a little slack here?

You’re not being unreasonable at all OP. Sending you a big hug 🤗 xx

Blocking access is unreasonable, tho you have a lot going on

Yes I guess so but when he's only got his works van at the back and doesn't want to be out but contacts the police to make a point?

Sending love, OP.

Have you considered moving?

He sounds like a revolting, callous bully. It's a shame your daughter parked there and gave him the opportunity to be a cunt.

I'm curious whether moving would be an option too OP. In your circumstances I'd imagine a peaceful life is of paramount importance now 🙏🏻

Sounds like you've been through the ringer @alwayshavebeenfemale I'm so sorry. As a pp said, is it possible for you to move? Fresh start and all?

That’s awful, I’m sorry.

did the police do anything? I mean surely they’d reprimand him for wasting their time.

what is the issue over access? Is it something you can try to sort out to avoid it escalating further even if he is being unreasonable? You’ve got a lot on and have to pick your battles. Could your daughter help sort it with you? Is this the only issue you’ve had with him or is he the type to immediately find something else to pick a fight over?

i know others have suggested moving and i think that could be a good option a little later on, but moving is really stressful.

I'm SO sorry for all you've been through over the last 3 1/2 years OP, it sounds like life has been really hard for you, and obviously the last thing you need is some idiot making things even more difficult just because he can.

As other posters have asked, could you, and would you, consider moving? I realise that if you spent a lot of years in your home with DH, it might be a wrench, but it may also give you a new lease of life, and would get you away from this man. On the other hand of course, there are no guarantees that you wouldn't be jumping from the frying pan into the fire, as you just never know with people, they might seem nice to start off, and then when they've sussed you out, they could become even worse than what you have now, so think carefully before charging in.

I don't know if you have received any counselling for your loss at all, but it may be worth considering, even after this length of time. Also, have you spoken to your doctor about how you're feeling, as it may be that you will feel more able to cope if you took anti-depressants for a while. Finally, is your DD supportive? You said that she visited, but does she see you/call you often?

I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time. Sending hugs 🫂

I’m so sorry OP I’m not good with words but wanted you to know I’ve read your post and I’m thinking of you.