My child is very sensitive

[bagiiu]

AIBU to assume that when anyone claims to have a sensitive child they are going to be poorly behaved, demanding and prone to whining and crying?

My Daughter (5) is sensitive but is very well behaved. She does whine and cry a lot though .. 🤣

What's your point?

@rhrni My sensitive DS- age 3 - is the opposite. Badly behaved ( I’m trying so hard to sort it 😖) but not demanding or whining 😂

Most three year olds can be badly behaved

@Beamur , when a parent says ‘my son / daughter is a very sensitive child and…’ I just know some tale is coming where they have been wronged in some way.

So same as sensitive adult?

I don’t know, but you know it’s not going to be easy!

Mine is sensitive and cries and whines and doesn't behave well. She looks a right brat to you, I imagine.

This is because the.sensory processing issues that make her so sensitive also mean that things that don't bother other children, like noise, bright light, smells, bother her. And she has as inability to process sequencing of events so that she often feels scarily at sea and doesn't know what is happening. Oh and hypermobility makes just standing up and walking about harder and more tiring. She sleeps badly too so she and I might have been up since 4am, when you see us.

She makes an effort to show up for the world despite these challenges. If you see her whining or crying in public, she's out and about, doing her best to take part in her little life, and getting help when overwhelmed from me, or whichever adult she is with. She's pretty brave actually.

This seems a strange opinion OP. One from an earlier era, when we thought whining was just something to be beaten out of them.

One of mine is ‘sensitive’ and he is in no way badly behaved. Neither do I indulge him or make excuses for him or treat him like my precious little prince, which seems to be what you’re suggesting. I do listen to him and let him know I’ve heard what today’s complaint is then I let him know if he’s being reasonable or not and what he can do to deal with it without making every body else endure his complaint. Being sensitive is part of his personality, doesn’t mean everyone else has to accommodate him 🤷🏻‍♀️

My older child is sensitive in some ways. Perhaps, "emotionally immature" might be a better description. Doesn't whine, hardly ever cries, but dislikes emotionally challenging books or movies and struggles to deal with "dark" themes. Very upset at a film about a lost dog (didn't sleep and nightmares) and we're a long way from watching The Lion King or reading Harry Potter like some of DC1's peers. But no, not whiny or prone to tears and, although not startlingly well-behaved either, any poor behaviour is more of the bouncing around, not listening, climbing on walls variety.

I suspect my child would be described as sensitive.

He's an only child and we live in a calm and happy household. He's rarely experienced negative emotions and will cry if someone shouts at him, it scares him. He also has a "strong sense of justice" and will get upset if he feels that he or someone else has been wronged.

He is also autistic with ADHD so the above are amplified if he's tired/hungry/something has gone wrong etc.

Is he actually sensitive, or is he just expending more emotional and social energy living in a neurotypical world which makes him appear more sensitive in comparison 🤔

My 10 year old is quite sensitive. I’m told (and have witnessed) she’s very well behaved for other people and at school especially. Mostly well behaved when out and about with us but frequently and disproportionately loses the plot at home with us!

My 7yo is friends with a ‘sensitive child’. The child is fairly whiny, shy, self-conscious, and cries more often than mine. Is also less easy going and gets more easily affected by things like a late bed time, being hungry etc., which is sometimes a little annoying.

HOWEVER, I actually really like the child. He’s intelligent, a deep thinker and quite creative. He doesn’t really talk to adults, but he’s starting to relax a little around me now. I think a lot of his inner upset comes from being very observant and self-aware. Completely different from my ds who very much lives in the moment and is very confident, but is sometimes quite black and white in his thinking. I’m so glad they are friends as I think the child is a good influence in many ways. They both have different strengths.

Children come in different packages. Sensitive doesn’t mean bad.

Total opposite of my DD who is 17 and i’d say is sensitive. I haven’t had to tell her off in years, perfectly behaved, model student, none of my kids would dream of being rude to me (work on that started when they were very young). But she is sensitive. But that certainly doesn’t make her a diva. If I said something that upset her (and I never do, as I never have to tell her off) she would go into her room for 24hrs. She would just go into her own zone. No dramatics, no screaming or shouting. Then she will gradually just revert to normal.

One of mine is sensitive. He is impeccably, unusually well behaved but finds being around less calm children a challenge. He finds things irritating that others don’t notice. He can cry more easily than is typical for his age group. He does this very quietly and with a refreshing lack of shame.