To be pissed off at neighbour coming into garden to retrieve footballs

[Confuseddotcom88]

Our neighbour has recently moved their football goal so it's now right next to our shared fence (only a short fence) this has meant they are constantly kicking their footballs over into our garden. This is a mild annoyance especially as I'm a little weary about it happening when DD (2yo) is it playing in case it were to hit her but whatever kids are gonna be kids and I can't tell them where to put their goal. Obviously whenever we notice a ball in our garden we toss it back over however yesterday I noticed a ball up at the top of the garden which I didn't go and throw back over as it was pissing it down and quite late on, this morning I noticed the same ball was now in a completely different place... Now I gave them the benefit of the doubt that perhaps it had been blown by the wind or something but had my suspicions so left the ball (again it was pissing it down all day and the kids would've been in school at this point anyway) and forgot about it, this evening I looked out and noticed not only had their ball gone but so has my toddlers. It's now very clear they have entered our garden to retrieve the ball multiple times and I'm pretty upset about it especially since they've never come and just asked for the ball back (I'm on mat leave and have been in the house the whole time) and they've now also taken our ball too.
This neighbour has recently moved in his girlfriend and her two kids (teen boys probably around 13 and 16ish) and has one child of his own who's not there full time (primary school aged) the younger boy has been round and asked us to throw ball back previously and I don't believe he is there currently so believe it to be one of the oldest boys who should definitely know better.
I'm I being unreasonable to be annoyed about this, it's not like we had had the ball hostage for days or anything like that! Planning to have DP go round to have a word after work tomorrow evening (as I'm heavily pregnant and would probably end up crying or something lol thanks hormones!) but wondering if I am being unreasonable to make a big deal of them coming into our garden or if we should just ask for our ball back and keep the peace (we don't really speak with this neighbour usually)?

YANBU for not wanting them to come into your garden, but I'd be wary of going round all guns blazing with only half a story, as you don't know for certain what happened to the balls. A polite word about maybe moving the goal back would probably be fine though. And I'd be getting a taller fence!

I can't see how anyone thinks you are unreasonable for not wanting them to climb into your garden, maybe those voters have voted against going round half cocked, as it were.

A polite word regarding moving the goal wouldn't be a bad thing though.

Thank you it's pretty clear what happened I think as two footballs don't just vanish from your garden especially after the earlier incident of it moving and I'm not suggesting we go and have a shouting match haha I'd just like a stern reminder that they do not have permission to come onto our property whenever they feel like it. We are planning to move in the not too distant future so didn't really want to spend money on a fence as there's nothing wrong with the current one though I'll be looking into adding a trellis or something to make it a bit taller.

‘Hi neighbour, as you can see I’m heavily pregnant and going out to the bottom of the garden and chucking balls back is getting beyond me at the moment. Plus when baby arrives there’ll be times when I won’t be able to answer the door when they come for the ball so it’s probably best all round if you can move the goal back to where it was previously. Thanks so much!’

Your DC will be older and wanting to play with balls before you know it. You'll be glad of neighbours who toss the balls back or encourage your children to just come round and get them themselves..

I shouldn't have thought a trellis would be sturdy enough. One thwack from a football would wreck it.

Put in a 2m fence. Sorted.

I have no issue with them playing football or with throwing the balls back or even with them knocking on our door to ask for them back, I have an issue with them coming into my property without permission to get the balls back and taking balls which aren't theirs! I'm not a child hating monster and I also had a childhood not too long ago where I would never have dreamed of going into neighbours garden without asking to get a ball back. The moving of the goal is a mild annoyance since it's now a constant thing but clearly not the point of my post

You are not being un-reasonable. It's your property and it sounds like they are taking liberties. I definitely think that a representative of your household should go around there and tell them to be careful not to throw the ball on to your property. You have a 2 year old for goodness sake, it could be very dangerous to have things flying over the fence. How are they getting on to your property do you think? Is there a gate through the fencing? If so, I'd recommend getting a lock and blocking off access points. They sound like a very dysfunctional family, so I wouldn't bank on getting much reason with them. If you can see the ball in your garden, the chances are the adults of that household can too and simply don't care. I'd recommend getting a higher fence put up ASAP.

Our NDNs children and ours collect balls without asking, its much more convenient than regular doorbell rings where we will obviously say yes go and get it.
Go and say about the toddlers ball though, it may be that their younger DC has the same ball and he mistook it for being that one.

There is a gate from our driveway into the garden which wasn't locked during these events since my dad had been doing some bits for us in the garden however I highly doubt they were even civilised enough to use that (it's quite squeaky and loud so I likely would have heard it), I suspect they just hopped over the fence as it's only a meter high at one point and thet have a storage box up against it so would be very easy to climb over (the idea of which makes me even more annoyed as they will be climbing into my borders where I'm trying to get my plants established!). The parents do act quite selfishly in other ways too (such as blocking our driveway when there's plenty of other parking available including their own driveway!) so I don't expect them to care much but I think they would at least have a word with the kids and it would make me feel better if we have been very clear.

They sound like horrendous neighbours. You don't need all of this stress whilst on maternity leave. It doesn't sound like your husband speaking to them will have much effect. I'd definitely go with a higher fence if it were me and also when your father finishes the work on the garden, getting a locking gate to keep them out of your garden. You'll need that anyway when your little one starts walking.

I would feel different if we had this kind of agreement but it's not like they had ever even come round to ask for a ball back once let alone ask to just come and get it whenever they please. They definitely don't have the same ball, theirs are proper footballs (the youngest boy seems to be very into his footy) whereas ours is a really light weight rubber thing as DD is only 2

I can’t stand kids who repeatedly kick balls over fences. Once is an accident twice or more is a choice. Any balls that come over my fences get binned. Funnily enough once the kids know they won’t get their balls back they can suddenly control where they go!

Of course, I'm not saying I don't agree with you - I think you're absolutely right about what's happened to them - I just mean you can't prove it so to speak, so it might make things awkward if they decide to be arsey about it. If that makes sense.

I quite like PP's suggestion of binning them tbh 🤣 I can't say I'd definitely do it but I'd fantasise about doing it!

You big meany! 😱 kids are not usually able to control where they kick a ball unless they are budding Ronald's!

YABU to ‘make a big deal’ out of it! Just say ‘hey I think someone had gone in to our garden and taken back a ball plus my child’s ball. Please in future just knock if you want your ball back and I’ll be happy to return it’

They don't sound like neighbours who have respect, it doesn't sound like they will listen/care. They will surely be able to see the ball in the neighbour's garden from their window, so will be aware of the situation but have allowed it to continue.

Well aren’t you lovely.

Although yanbu I'd honestly be thrilled i tell the kids next door to get their own ball so that i don't have to keep getting up

She has a 2 year old and another baby on the way. It's not safe to have things flying over the fence like that. In any case, it's her property, if she doesn't want footballs/unruly kids on it then it's up to her.

Not really. I’ve had literally hundreds of pounds worth of damage done by balls coming over fences. Including a ball going through my greenhouse roof smashing the glass. Pots and plants damaged as well as damage to my car. So no they will no longer get their damned balls back.

She can't control balls going into her garden it's just one of them things when you choose to live in close proximity to others

I'd rather neighbours did this than have to constantly pick up balls and throw them back myself. He's taking initiative to sort out a problem his kid caused without me having to do anything - ideal. Couldn't care less if he's coming on my property if he's only doing it to retrieve balls.

(We get footballs in our garden sometimes in a similar situation, but the garden isn't accessible to the neighbours so we have to deliver them back ourselves - I wish the neighbour could just come and get them!)

1m fence is very low, we have similar age DC and have a large fixed net to keep balls in the garden. This one is on sale I would suggest to your neighbours to consider something like this - it’s about the price of a couple of footballs(“have you considered a stop the ball net it’s less frustrating for the kids as they don’t lose their balls all the time” ).. it’s much better the kids are outside playing football than inside on screens but they do need to make it not annoying and inconvenient for their neighbours!

https://www.networldsports.co.uk/pop-up-stop-that-balltm-ball-stop-post-system.html