Teachers - does this seem likely?

[SensitiveSkinn]

My H is a mainstream teacher teaching GCSEs, there is no head of his department & never has been (small department). He tells me he was offered a head of department promotion role verbally by the head teacher and they shook hands. They didn't actually create this role or write a JD or advertise - they just told him in the head's office that he was getting a promotion and creating a new job for him.

Now, they've gone silent on him. He's asked about the job but they are ignoring him. They've just recruited another teacher in his department (who is friends with SLT) and he is convinced they've recruited him to give to this person now.

I work in a v process driven sector and none of this seems normal. I worry about H wellebing and he tells me he is going to tell the head teacher 'to get fucked' and he's really really stressed about it. Paranoid actually - telling me he thinks this teacher is talking about him, that everyone knows, that people know they've 'fucked him over'.

I'm a bit confused. Does teaching really offer promotions with no process or open recruitment and then take those promotions away to give to their mates - again with no open recruitment? Does this sound plausible? Maybe I'm being naive but H seems a litle vulnerable at the moment and I'm worried he's misunderstood the original offer. It all seems so unprofessional and back-stabby.

Quite, and I've heard quite a bit of potty mouthed vocab / name calling in our staffroom / SLT offices - but we brush ourselves down and crack on!! its a stressful job and in some respects its useful to loose your composure and let it out now and again.

Almost this exact thing happened to one of my colleagues in one of the smaller departments only a few months ago.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

I think I’d be more worried if that hadn’t been his reaction!

Tbh id be a bit concerned that he's setting the scene for something here. Like he thinks he's in a bit of trouble and is trying to cast himself as the injured party before some shit hits the fan.

Dodgy but not implausible. He needs to speak to his union asap. He should also play the long game - he might need a reference so telling the Head to 'get fucked' isn't the best plan.

Little schools can be like this. If he can keep his cool, suggest he requests a meeting with the head to clarify matters. He should take notes. Also Union, if he's not a member, he should join one.

Weird
so many dismissing the Op, his wife after all, expressing very serious concerns about his “vulnerability” “paranoia” and mental health as just being “oh that’s teaching for you!”

im inclined to believe the Op that this man is not well and consequently I think he shouldn’t be head of anything at the moment and probs ly shouldn’t be teaching

but yes yes…. That’s just teaching 😃

She posted asking teachers whether schools behave like this towards employees. The vast majority of teachers said yes, this isn't uncommon.

The DH finds himself in a toxic school. Yes, he should leave that school. No, he shouldn't leave teaching. If he was originally tapped up for promotion he must be up to leading what is a small department.

It is the OP who thinks her DH may be paranoid and thinks perhaps the newly appointed person is talking about him. Lots of us has said this may not be paranoia .By her own admission she works in a highly ethical workplace and doesn't perhaps understand fully that this is not yet the norm in education.

He is in a toxic workplace. This would affect even the most robust of people. Of course the OP is worried about her DH and of course this has affected his wellbeing. But for you to suggest early on that he is the problem and ask whether she has children with him (I see you haven't asked that again) suggests very clearly what your agenda is.

I wonder if you would say this if the person sidelined at work and treated so poorly was a woman.

As lot of us have said, he needs to seek advice and probably to leave his current school.

OP, is he quite new to teaching?

I do not doubt that some schools treat their staff like this

but his reaction is what the Op is clearly very (and rightfully so) concerned about

There is plenty in her OP that suggests she wants to clarify whether his reaction is based on normal school behaviours which she calls 'unprofessional' and 'backstabby'. Not her DH.

She says 'they've gone silent on him' and they are 'ignoring him'. 'None of this seems normal' she says.

These are just a few highlights of an OP dominated by her desire to understand their actions.

From this you read the paragraph about his reaction as a signifier of some huge problem with him (form which I infer you probably think he is at the root of any issues at school because he is somehow unstable and unsuitable) . She is worried about him because he is unhappy, as anyone would be. People react in a whole spectrum of ways when unhappy : with lots of men it is anger and angry hyperbolic venting .

Nowhere does she say he is so wild in his behaviour that he isn't fit for work or a marriage- in fact he seems to have been doing a good job at school thus far. The vast majority of her words are a request for clarity.

Anyway, we are both speaking on her behalf which isn't cool, so I shall bow out having established that, yes, this is normal behaviour amongst SLTs in lots of schools.

I’m shocked that so many people are saying that this sort of thing happens. It sounds appalling and I can’t believe it would happen in a well-run school (or any well-run organisation, for that matter).

My daughter is a teacher. She has been offered a year of year post at her current school, to start in September. Like all promotion opportunities within the school, it was advertised internally. There was no detailed job description or person specification, which I might have expected, but anyone interested had to submit a one page written application and have an interview. She was offered the job a couple of hours after the interview, after the last candidate had been seen.

She hasn’t yet had the formal offer letter with details of her pay, but the staff newsletter contained a paragraph congratulating a number of staff on recent promotions, and her name was on it, so she’s not worried about them changing their minds.

There is plenty in her OP that suggests she wants to clarify whether his reaction is based on normal school behaviours which she calls 'unprofessional' and 'backstabby'. Not her DH.

wow, very different view from me.

It is primarily about how concerned the Op with her “vulnerable” husband’s reaction

Yes similar happened to me, and I've witnessed similar with a colleague.
I was the only staff member in my department and had to oversee the curriculum myself. For context my students had the best gcse grades in the school in my subject, so it's not like I was terrible.

The head was a little more open, saying he didn't want to promote me, but not going so far as saying it was to avoid giving me the payrise. I was the de facto head so I do put that on my CV, but I sure don't teach anymore.

A colleague that same year was ousted from her job when they recruited a new SLT member. His specialist subject happened to be her subject. She was gone quite quickly.

What did you put on your CV? The role you weren’t given?

I put that I was "de facto head" with responsibility for overseeing the department.

But someone else was actually head?

No.

Many schools (not all of course) have a very toxic management culture. Decisions are made all the time without consultation or due process.

It's highly likely they've thought about the promotion AFTER talking to your husband about it. And changed their minds so are refusing to engage with him now to avoid further implicating themselves in unethical behaviour.

In his position, I would just look for another job. There will literally be nothing he can do about this and having been in schools with similar underhand and unethical management behaviour can have a hugely detrimental effect on mental health.

I agree with this entirely.

Personally I would not fight it in any sense whatsoever. I would move on with my dignity and self respect in tact. Responding aggressively will only empower the management team and enable them
to justify their behaviour.

As a HT I have never, ever offered a job without due process. However, I have no doubt it happens.
Has he directly asked the person who offered the job what is happening and when he can expect a contract? If the offerer tries to fudge it, he needs to state that he will be speaking to his union as the offer was made and shaken upon and that he's disappointed in the way this is being handled (more professional than telling the head to 'get fucked' and considering he's missed the notice period, your DH isn't going anywhere).
But without a formal offer and correct process being followed, he doesn't really have much to go on.

Never in any school I’ve worked at. You might have a conversation where you ask if someone would be willing to take on an opportunity if it came up, to test the water for an internal candidate, but there would always have to be a process. Also sorry but you don’t get jobs with a handshake any more—everything has to be followed up with a letter and formal offer and it’s not yours until you get that. Even if I had a verbal offer for a job I’d applied for I wouldn’t resign formally until I had the letter in hand!

it’s possible he was asked if he would cover the role for the rest of the year? even that should have had a letter to back up the offer. Without anything in writing it’s hard to prove either way.

it sounds to me as though he may have misunderstood, but if he sincerely believes this was done as you say he should contact his union and talk directly to the head with his union rep in the room.

Are you ok OP?

This can’t be at all nice to live with.

100% plausible. The sector is extremely "backstabby".

Well it’s not the “sector” as a separate entity that is “back stabby”…

it is the teachers operating within the sector that make it “back stabby”!