Moving abroad from England (anywhere want tips and experiences please) AIBU does this exist

[confidenceboost]

Hello 32y with 3 children married to husband 37 who’s a gas engineer by trade but also worked in mental health
i can get an Irish passport if required to do a move and we need to move to a place we can afford
we have around 400k we can produce in cash to buy and move and survive so not lots, if we couldn’t work
if we moved I would like to share online but it’s a dream everyone has the same isn’t it
i worked in construction but v interested in wellness and would be keen to practise a therapy (going to choose one and want to practise with English or expats abroad in a way or online )
I have lived in Ireland and Switzerland and speak Italian and Spanish , but I can’t think where and why

i I know that everywhere has its drawbacks but after thirteen years in England despite being born here with British parents I was raised in Ireland from 7 and I find it hard to relate to and also accept a lot of things here

im sick of the nhs , I have soo many health problems so healthcare is a consideration.

uae doesn’t really fit into my spread toed visioned of being a total mowgli but I need something that is attainable, accessible and also full of people who want to do something with their life, people who are not racist or xenophobic because they have been traumatised by harsh realities of living in england
i want less violence , I don’t want my kids to know about zombie knives, I don’t like geo engineering, I don’t agree with benefit caps and cuts, I don’t like funding war, I don’t like that processes for vulnerable people are inaccessible in england
i sont like feeling like I’m getting a favour from my GP when they see me
i dont want my children in school for 7 hours, it’s too long they are so small.
apols for all the grammar, my phone, my eyes, three kids and passion!!!

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Firstly you can't work in the EU easily anymore so it's important to get that Irish passport first.
I love living in Spain but taxes are high and if your self employed autónomo is financially crippling. But I wouldn't change it for the world. This is my permanent home and god willing always will be. It's super important to learn the language and just being good at it really isn't enough to work (which is really only possible with your Irish passport)

Heath care in Spain is outstanding

What is your plan for working abroad?
What is your plans for childrens' education abroad?

You'd be better off moving to a nicer area in England and just paying for private health insurance.

Asking for advice and opinions which is why I haven’t got a plan yet :-) @mumchp
I speak really really really good Spanish but I speak fluent Italian too.
in terms of how I feel about the future it would be when my eldest had finished high school education style and wanted to go to university in another country we will move with him!

I can’t comment on working abroad but training in therapy is very difficult and usually takes multiple years (and is expensive).

it’s also difficult to do remotely because you need to live in the UK for insurance purposes.

Italy is tightening up its requirements for working there if you are non-EU, so you will need to bear that in mind.

TBH OP I don't think there is anywhere that meets your requirements. Everywhere has the equivalent of what you call the "harsh realities of living in England" and many places are worse.

I think you need to first consider:

• are you prepared to live, work and be educated in a language other than English. Do any of the Spanish or Italian speaking countries appeal? I assume you've lived in either italy/Spain or both to attain fluency?
• if EU, (how) would you be able to earn enough to support the family assuming your husband wouldn't have the right to work
• "I need something that is attainable, accessible and also full of people who want to do something with their life" not sure what you think that means but attainable and accessible in most countries depends on your wealth and/or social status/recognised education/professional background. Do you mean you want universal health care and good state-funded education?

I mean realistic for me to go there , yes ofc I could have a nice life in multiple places but I don’t want to pretend it’s perfect and become gutted

i I think we need to rent on the edge of a village and see if we like it for at least one year and ensure we do their “winter” to know the realities

would be amazing to educate my children in other languages

i am not very academic , although i did go to unviersity and also an International school

i think it’s hard for us because the homes where we live are rising in value exponentially and now it’s hard to move , it is too expensive to find the capital to adapt our home to increase it by 50% In size and it isn’t small it has 4 bedrooms, huge huge garden 200ft garden kind of thing, I want to live where it’s ok to build on my land within reason not get the colour of my window frames approved to be in line with all the other grey windows they seem to encourage these days.

i am very much in the start of this process.

also Mumsnet what happened to you editing as I wrote for my grammar. I feel it’s impacting the advice I get, because it looks like I don’t get it.

i have lived all over, England is the longest I have lived anywhere

it’s also hard because I have a coochie life here too a lot of the time, I am used to being in a nice car etc etc my husband does actually make good money; we have dividends, we have a flat we rent out , but , it’s not thriving and I want to thrive

i I think I need to either pare right back or potentially re qualify

i I have done the diplomas to join a BpAs accredited course which is 3 years, if I start now I will be qualified by the time it happens, I wanted to do it a few years ago then became worried I wasn’t resilient enough for that

i also don’t want to practise particularly as a counsellor but more like sex and relationship therapist

anyway thank you everyone I’m thankful for the tips

on a great group on FB NL keeps featuring and it’s a country we adore and have gone on holiday to every single year for around 9 years now!

What languages does your DH speak?

I have lived as an expat in the Middle East and believe me it’s awful. The thing you really have to consider is, having no family support, don’t expect them to come see you and use all holiday time visiting them. How expensive it actually is to live in another country, how difficult it is to navigate life as an expat etc

I don’t regret my time away but my god I was happy to get back.

I think the NHS here is really hit and miss. I live 1 mile from a county border, my family gets way worse experiences than I do in my county. I am really lucky I live 12 miles from a city with a teaching hospital.

New Zealand might be an option.

Get your Irish/EU passport and move to Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean.

It's French, very isolated, but might be what you're looking for.

@CarrotVan - New Zealand won't accept people with a lot of medical conditions - they want people who can contribute not place a drain on resources (same as Australia).

The easiest place to move to would be Ireland.

You are writing a bit like someone having a mental health crisis. Mumsnet never edited for grammar as you wrote, what are you on about?

“spread-toed Mowgli” WTF?

If you were my friend in real life writing like this I’d he heading round your house to take you to the GP.
Please seek real life support.

I think Ireland has a lot of what you are looking for and would be an easier transition for your family.

I would really encourage you to think more about what career you want. Presumably the BPA course is through The British Psychoanalytic Association.

This would not allow you to be a relationship and/or sex therapist as psychoanalysis is very different to relationship therapy. It’s also inaccessible to most people, as a full analysis is 4-5x weekly for a year and over £100 per session.

Relationship therapy can be done through training in systemic family therapy (4 years) but you need a prior degree qualification to be eligible (psychologist, nurse, social worker).

Even if you did these qualifications, it’s very difficult to work abroad as they have different regulatory bodies. I honestly don’t think you’d get insurance to open a private practice and you likely wouldn’t meet the requirements for a skilled worker visa with just the diploma.

Even for qualified psychologists, social workers CBT therapist etc emigrated is challenging.

Time and time again, unless I use a username that’s entirely new and pretend to be something I am not, I don’t get meaningful advice from at least half of the responses, there are more supportive forums and I’m deleting the app, so I wouldn’t bother to respond here as I won’t see anything it’s really put me off and I feel like the code of what Mumsnet is, isn’t something I understand

apologies for having a pipe dream and asking questions I think are fairly normal judging by the other boards I used

Housing and health care are a bit scarce in Ireland. Not impossible but not easy to find.

Based on this response, you don’t seem suited to starting a business as a therapist.

Does your dh speak any foreign languages?
What work does he want to do?

Racism is everywhere. You won't find a country in the world that doesn't have some form of racism.

You really need to think in terms that can be ticked off.

Does distance from UK matter?
Does it need to be English?
Any religion or culture you would prefer to have or avoid?
How much do public services or infrastructure matter to you?
How do you like to spend your free time?
Any climate to have or avoid?

Everywhere has pros and cons, I'm eyeing up Poland.

Where ever you go, in the uk or anywhere, there will be governments funding for military. There will be criminals and there will be a number of people who carry weapons. There will also be lovely people and nice communities.

All children go to school. They don't go for 7 hours though. It's 9-3.15 with breaks and lunch.

Perhaps move to a nicer area, near family and friends, and join in making the community better or sharing the load.