To quit my job

[Fedupofmyjob]

I am so fed up of my job. Client facing role in a big 4. Sick of politics, but also constant deadlines, having to keep up utilisation, client facing, etc.

I not sure how much longer I will be able to remain on this job. Feel like dropping everything tomorrow. It is taking all my will power to stay here.

How do I cope until I find a new job?

Thank you. I just need to handover a few other things, put my out of office next week and then fully disconnect.

My sense of responsibility doesn’t let me in peace until I do the handover.

I called HR and I have 13 weeks full paid sickness if needed with a medical note. Half after that and may use the income protection. But I will probably just quit.

I don't know your industry, but about 10 years ago I was in a similar situation. I had the job I'd always dreamed of getting, building up a great reputation in my field, leading my own team, lots of international travel. On paper it was awesome.

The reality was that I'd sit in my car in the morning and cry at the thought of having to go in. I was burned out. Very late nights working, juggling the demands of a family. I was mentally in an awful place.

I went to go and resign and they asked what they could do to convince me to stay. I asked for a year career break leave (unpaid, but with the guarantee my job would still be there when I got back).

During that year they made a lot of adjustments for me and I went back with renewed enthusiasm, but still after a year I was mentally back in the same place. I resigned, set up my own business and whilst it hasn't been easy, especially financially it's been well worth it. I'm a very different person to what I was then. Less career orientated, excellent work-life balance and just generally happier whilst doing something I genuinely love.

Would setting up your own business work for you? It was the never ending politics which really ground me down.

Thank you. I know is all for the best but need to get myself in a good mental place first. Setting up my own business may be an option.

It is strange how things are. When I finished university many years ago I always wanted to go and work for a big 4 but didn’t get it.

This opportunity presented 4 years ago and I was over the moon, felt proud to be there. I found the job stressful but felt I had the support from my Partner. Thought I would stay until retirement, push for promotion. I still have the support from my team and ADS but not from my partner anymore. The current team work people to dead and is an up or out culture. I am pretty sure my whole team got analysed and they probably decided who to keep and who to get rid of as I noticed the changes my partner implemented when we moved there and their attitude towards me changed.

Go and see occupational health and see if they can recommend HR implements changes to your work which would make it tolerable until you are in a position to leave. You might need to keep a diary of events in order to back up any request for changes, which can be stressful in itself.

If you can't do this, get yourself signed off sick for a while to gather yourself together and look at your options.

Look at all the skills you could offer which might lend themselves to making a living, even if it's not doing what you are doing now. I surprised myself by finding something which was never in a million years what I'd have thought I'd end up doing when I left university and which I never thought I'd enjoy. However, I love my work now.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I hope I start feeling better soon so I can job hunt.

@Fedupofmyjob How are you doing?

Hi

Thank you for asking.

I am so glad I posted here. Your advice have been invaluable. I didn’t even know I was suffering from burnout.

I called the dr and they gave me 2 weeks off and said they will extend if needed.

I am waking up during the night. I have a feeling of dread when thinking of returning to work. I want to put my laptop away and never see it again.

I did however connect a few times for a short period to reallocate some projects; mainly in the middle of the night. Just because I feel once I reallocate everything I can be in peace and not to think of work anymore.

I feel a bit tearful sometimes but trying to look after myself, sleep, short walks, bit of yoga and meditation.

I want my dr to give a long sick note so I don’t have to connect every two weeks on my laptop to submit it.

I want to forget about it and put it behind me. I have not reached for counselling but will do in the next few weeks.

I don’t want HRT as I was coping fine with the magnesium, vitamins, etc until I got my performance review and crushed a week after. Was holding it on for awhile.

I am worried OH will call me and force me into work if they make arrangements. I don’t want to talk to HR.

I can’t just quit now as don’t want to leave without a penny.

So in summary still on edge and anxious; but I know this will be for the best in the long term. I don’t blame the Company or Partners. It is the busy model and everyone is under pressure.

I'm in the same boat. Hanging on by thinking of how good it will feel to hand in my notice and walk out of here.

I can't leave without another job to go to though. I need an income.

Over the last few months I kept looking at pension calculator to see how much longer until retirement so I guess this have been building up for a while.

Sorry you are so unhappy OP.

Just to contradict the advice of others here, I wouldn't sign off sick for any long period. Mainly because it doesn't sound like you are sick, it sounds like you're miserable with your job.

I think a few days self-certifying is fine while you get your head and plans straight but any more than that is a risk if you are about to leave and apply for other jobs, all of whom will check your recent absence record in your current role. Long term sick leave for stress only ends one of two ways: either you have to go back to your job at a certain point and it will be even harder than when you left, or it lapses into extended sick leave and a capability process where you are eventually forced to leave because the business needs to replace you. This is not a good position from which to be applying for another role.

Take a few days off to make a plan, and then either hand in your notice, or apply for jobs while doing the bare minimum in your current role.

Thanks for the advice. Have you ever suffered from burnout? It is actually an occupational condition and it impacts you in many ways. It is probably not the best stage to make long term decisions.

You don’t know what is like until you get it.

There is no way of doing the minimum in this job. It is a client facing role; it will ultimately impact company reputation if you are not delivering and make you feel more misserable and incompetent.

I don’t have the the physical and mental strength of job hunting at the moment and I feel I need to recover first. But once I am fit and healthy again I will start.

Never in my 30 years of career I left a job like this, always stayed enough time to handover things properly; left in good terms to a better job; sadly I do feel I need some time to recover and look after myself.

Even staying the 3 months notice will make me very miserable. Don’t feel I can face it.

The business is already putting pressure on me to quit by giving me lowest review, etc. why should I stayed in a Company that is impacting my confidence and mental health so badly.

I've never suffered from burnout though I have suffered with other types of anxiety (including work related), so my advice wasn't meant unsympathetically in any way, just realistically.

Only you know whether you are too unwell to work. If you genuinely are, then you should obviously sign off sick until you're better. But certain things in the thread (not only from you but from others) suggest that you're signing off strategically rather than because you need to. i.e. I never understand when people say 'I'm planning to sign off sick for a few weeks'... how do they know they're going to be sick for that long? They might be better in 3 days or ill for 6 months. If you're planning that you want to take 3 weeks off, that isn't sick leave (IMO), it's what annual leave is for.

All of this is up to you, obviously, different people choose to use their sick leave in different ways. But I'm advising you only pragmatically - I'm in a senior hiring role and I would be cautious about hiring someone who had just had weeks/months off sick with their previous employer. That may be unfair, but it's true.

This is very good advice and I will keep in mind.

I have and can cope with anxiety,

I don’t think I am signing myself off sick strategically. I can’t sleep and dread the thought of having to go back.

You will only know what burnout is like when you get it. Like you I didn’t think much of it before. Didn’t even know it could cause so many symptoms.

I suggest you read about it but hopefully you will never get it.

I am signed off on 4 weeks medical leave due to stress - get a GP appointment and ask for a fit note. It’s scary to hand it in but once you do you’ll feel amazing! And you’ll keep your income, either full pay or statutory sick pay depending on your company policy x

Ignore the hiring manager OP, you don’t have to disclose sick leave to prospective employers. I was suffering from burnout same as you in a senior role and I’m just sorry I let my health get into such a state for the sake of the job and didn’t sign off sooner x

If you’re so unwell that you’re not sleeping, then you are too ill to work and I’d revise what I said above, that wasn’t clear from your opening post.

And apologies, I really wasn’t planning to make light of what you were going through, just give you practical advice.

The posters above are correct that prospective employers may not ask your current company about sickness/absence record but they also might. So if you can afford to, I might be inclined to quit now. Obviously if you can’t, that’s a different question. You could also hand in your notice and then go off sick if you’re not well enough to work.

No one realises they are burned out until it happens. And anyone who rubbishes it hasn't experienced it. The good thing is you will never let this happen to you again. The key thing now is to focus on getting back to regular sleep, unfurling the tightness in your chest and letting go of those butterflies in your tummy. You sound like you're taking great steps towards achieving this. It's OK to feel tearful too. You're running on empty.

Despite what your line manager says you are good at your job. Hold onto that and think about the successes you've had before this year. Also, it is the company at fault. They create the environment and culture that let this happen. If/when you leave and find something new you will realise that.

And you are right re HRT. My doc refused to entertain it when I was going through awful anxiety. I was really cross that she wouldn't prescribe it but she was actually right!

Look after yourself and just get back to being you. It WILL happen x

Thank you. I am proud of what I have achieved to day. It moved from industry into this big corporate client facing role and was handed a big portfolio within 2 months and little training; basically sink or swim.

Sad this job is ending this way. I like my colleagues and loved the first 3 years but can’t stay working for a company that is destroying my confidence, mental health and motivation. Need to put my health first no matter what. My family need me more my job will replace me in the blink of an eye.

The ones who talk about wellbeing all the time are usually the absolute worst. I think that’s why they keep talking about it because they know deep down they are negatively impacting their workforce and they want to protect themselves against any claims. They just say ‘look at the wellbeing resources” if anyone raises work related stress.

i think you’re in a strong position to resign now and get your notice paid out without having to work it. I think that would be a good option for you?

they (your employer) are in a difficult position now as they won’t sack you when you’re off sick so when you go back in, they will be relieved if you resign and very likely to agree you don’t have to work your notice. You can then take 3 months paid to recover and look for a new role towards the end of it if you feel like it

I always said the day I wake up not wanting to go into work is the day I resign . I had a very full on stressful job and obviously it had highs and lows but the lows became too much . I left . Have never regretted it . Once you’ve made the decision it’s amazing how you roll with it and just get on with the change .

I think a few days self-certifying is fine while you get your head and plans straight but any more than that is a risk if you are about to leave and apply for other jobs, all of whom will check your recent absence record in your current role

This is nonsense.