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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this reasonable while WFH?

62 replies

Theultracheese · 04/06/2025 17:21

The situation is that there’s 10 of us in a team, we log in to a phone system but dont get many calls at all. Probably take about 5 calls each on average per day.

If you usually have childcare during half term but your child minder had to cancel on Friday, meaning you were working from home with a child running around and shouting etc, would it be reasonable to not log in to the phones that day so that you don’t have to take calls with screaming kids in the background?

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 04/06/2025 18:11

@Theultracheese who is not happy and is it you who didnt join the teams???? I wouldnt call this working from home at all when you are doing childcare! this is the reason that I am against wfh!!

K0OLA1D · 04/06/2025 18:12

Shadesofscarlett · 04/06/2025 18:07

our phone log on links to our timesheet which links to us being paid. So no you can't get away with not logging on. Also part of our contract is you cannot wfh unless you have childcare for any children.

What does your place of work class as childen, just out of curiosity? Over around 8 or 9, they don't need 'looking after', as such. My 11yo and 13yo stay at home in the holidays when we go to work out of the house, so I don't even consider it when I am wfh any more.

RandomUsernameHere · 04/06/2025 18:12

I think because it’s a one off and you did have childcare arranged then YANBU but knowing the general attitude on MN about this sort of thing you will probably get more people saying YABU.

Jk987 · 04/06/2025 18:18

Are there other tasks other than answering calls? Would you tell your other colleagues? It’s not on to leave them to answer all the calls! Plus if you’re running round after your kids how will you get any other work done?

KrisAkabusi · 04/06/2025 18:22

Are you planning on telling your colleagues that you won't be doing your share of that job? If not, then you know you're being unreasonable.

BeCalmNavyDreamer · 04/06/2025 18:25

I don't think it's that bad, but I would let my boss know and check, offering solutions for how I would work around it...like an agreed set amount I would get done that day.

If you have a reasonable boss and it's a one off then why not? Yeh you're there to work but people have families and life happens, work needs to apply some common sense and judge who takes advantage and who just needs a favour now and again (we all do sometimes but we all know those people who take the piss too!)

ginasevern · 04/06/2025 18:29

Can't you just tell your manager that you've got to take the day off due to unforeseen childcare issues?

DontTouchRoach · 04/06/2025 18:35

It would be unreasonable if you did that without telling anyone/checking it was OK. And by 'anyone' I mean your manager, not Mumsnet. Nobody here knows what your employer would be OK with.

If I was your manager, I'd be fine with you not taking calls for one day because you'd had a childcare emergency, but only if you bloody asked me first!

Jux · 04/06/2025 18:39

Can you limit your 'taking calls' time to a couple of hours a day, when the children are doing something absorbing, like watching a film?

It sounds unbelievable these days, but when my brothers and I had to be quiet for an hour or two, we were perfectly capable of being so. That from a very young age, I'd've been maybe 5 or 6, and my Bro Number 2 was 2 years younger. Perhaps we were just used to being quiet in Church every Sunday?

wizzler · 04/06/2025 18:44

I call reverse

Sparticle · 04/06/2025 18:45

We shouldn’t be assuming that it’s actually the OP that has done this, it might be a colleague…

Sparticle · 04/06/2025 18:45

wizzler · 04/06/2025 18:44

I call reverse

Cross-post!

CrazyGoatLady · 04/06/2025 18:53

Some of our admins do their "offline" work with children around, but if they have to make calls or be on Teams, they're expected to be in an environment that is a) professional and b) confidential (it's healthcare) so that is incompatible with having children around. Ditto the trainers who do online training. If they can manage to juggle their offline work with childcare, they can do that, work flexi, etc. But if they are on calls, or delivering training for a customer, it's no kids in the background. They wouldn't show up for an on site gig with kids in tow, so its not OK to do it online.

Mostly, we trust people to be adults and make the appropriate arrangements so they can show up with full professionalism and focus when it's required.

On the odd occasion, people would cover a meeting or session if someone had a sick child or childcare fall through. But if someone perpetually just didn't make childcare arrangements and just hoped the kids would stay quiet, that would be a different story.

NerrSnerr · 04/06/2025 18:55

If the children are so young they can’t be quiet for phone calls then they probably need active parenting and the parent shouldn’t be WFH.

Shadesofscarlett · 04/06/2025 18:59

K0OLA1D · 04/06/2025 18:12

What does your place of work class as childen, just out of curiosity? Over around 8 or 9, they don't need 'looking after', as such. My 11yo and 13yo stay at home in the holidays when we go to work out of the house, so I don't even consider it when I am wfh any more.

Show quote history

well it would be any child needing childcare but also there are also gdpr issues. we have to work away from others and not overheard etc.

Coconutter24 · 04/06/2025 19:01

Is this your situation or a colleges situation. If someone is unable to perform their job/duties then they need to arrange childcare or take the day off as dependency leave. Unless the manager is happy for the person to not take calls but makes sure other tasks are being done

Loadsapandas · 04/06/2025 19:01

Icecreamandcoffee · 04/06/2025 17:34

Only with agreement with a manager. Many workplaces are bringing in mandatory office days and mandatory proof of child care when wfh for these reasons. The manager would be able to say if you need to take leave or if you could be put on other duties instead of phones for the day or just not take calls.

How much notice did the CM give for Friday's cancellation? If a day or 2 you have time to speak to manager or sort some kind of childcare or take leave. If on the morning then it is really is speak to manager and take leave if needed.

I wonder if men are being asked to produce mandatory proof of childcare?

What does that even look like if a SAHP or relative is looking after said child?

Buscake · 04/06/2025 19:07

I had to performance manage one of my team who had a baby and arranged no childcare! It was unreal that she thought it was acceptable to do this! I get that it’s annoying, but if you can’t do your job due to lack of childcare that has implications on the business..

2ndbestslayer · 04/06/2025 19:13

You would be crazy to take the word of strangers on this. What is your work policy? That's all that matters.

TatteredAndTorn · 04/06/2025 19:14

If I were managing someone that WFH and as a one off had to have the children at home but they were broadly able to work (eg doing office work with kids broadly occupied but might be interrupted more that day than usual). I would be ok with that…as a one off. But what you are describing is that your job is purely to login to a phone system and take sporadic calls, which you are proposing not to do at all due to the background noise of children. This is obviously not ok as you won’t be doing ANY work. Unfortunately in that instance then you’d have to take a day holiday or dependants leave.

BastardesEverywhere · 04/06/2025 19:21

meaning you were working from home with a child running around and shouting etc

And there would endeth your working day if you were on my team. I'd make you take annual leave until you had childcare sorted.

TerrysCIockworkOrange · 04/06/2025 19:23

Any ‘solution’ that impacts your usual day to day responsibilities decided on by you individually without the agreement of your manager is unreasonable

vickylou78 · 04/06/2025 19:34

No you take unpaid parental leave. Surely shouldn't be working with no childcare. Depends on age of child though. Would maybe be ok 10 upwards.

AliBaliBee1234 · 04/06/2025 19:36

You need to take the calls if that's what they're paying you to do

Vaxtable · 04/06/2025 19:38

You are paid to work not look after your child, so either ask for the day off or find alternative childcare

its CF like you you get wfh a bad name