to not throw a birthday party for my 3 year old?

[Yellowtracktor]

Was just planning on a low key bbq with grandparents and cousin like we've done the last 2 years, but my dc is starting to get invited to proper 3rd birthday parties for other kids at nursery (soft play etc). I guess I'm just worried that her birthday will come around next month and she'll be upset that she isn't having a "real" party?

What would you do?

Sorry - definitely didn’t mean to imply you were being mean! It’s a huge change from 2nd to 3rd birthday parties and it take you by suprise with your first DC.

A compromise could be to have your family party as planned then see if your DC asks about a friends party or not. If not, no big deal. If yes, then you could try to get one in right before the end of the school term and tell your DC you are doing it a bit after the birthday to spread the fun.

Your idea sounds lovely 😊

I didn’t do one for my son until he was 5, but I noticed a difference with my DD. She’s just had one for her 4th birthday, and mentioned this for at least a year beforehand (as she’s seen her brother going to lots of parties/having parties).

Many here didn’t do one until Reception or even Year 1. The advantage of waiting is that your child will have a much clearer idea of who their closest friends are, who they consistently play with, etc.

Definitely up to each family when you start them, and they are optional. One Mum I know is only doing 5 and 10, some every other year to alternate their 2 children due to expense, some every year, some haven’t at all yet.

I'm having one for my (turning) 4yo and he's very excited but last year he didn't have a party and wasn't bothered.

DS is late primary now but 'the norm' in my experience back then was...

3rd bday parties weren't a thing other than family.

4th parties werent really a thing either. There were a few of children from nursery who had them but as most of the children wouldnt still be in touch by the following year, most didn't bother.

5th or 6th bday - lots of whole class parties.

After this...small parties with a few friends only.

If you're absolutely minted and are desperate to have one then do, otherwise I'd vote to save your money while you can and use it when it's more (IMO) worth it.

Very normal to only start inviting friends to children's parties once they are in school - so their 5th birthdays.

Your family BBQ sounds lovely.

My children just had cake and balloons until they were at primary. Just grandparents and close friends until then.

I went to four 3 year old parties. 3 of them were literal hell and I knew then I wouldn’t be doing it for my then 2 year old.

I agree, four is young enough.