Should I quit my job

[Thewayshetalks]

Absolutely hate my job at the moment, have always been a person proud of my work ethic and always committed but currently hate it, I work in a male based industry/office and they treat me like shit, I am in a managerial role which I have worked hard for but I get no respect, they take advantage of me, I am having some mental health issues and had to notify my boss, he couldn’t give a shit, I have worked overtime solidly for 3 years, cancelled holidays, days off to try and help out when we are short staffed to watch all the others enjoy their lovely holidays whilst I sit covering all their work, I am not financially comfortable but I am getting to the point where I am not sleeping and anxious all the time thinking about being at work, I am applying for other jobs but nothing suitable has come up yet, feel like I can’t go on anymore.
I can’t talk to HR as it’s a very much “snitch and be bullied” kind of culture where I am. I’ve seen it happen before and I’m not sure I can deal with that at the moment.

Definitely leave this job, your mental health is precious.

When you find another job, that isn't toxic, you'll feel like a new woman and wonder why on earth you didn't move years before.

I can’t talk to HR as it’s a very much “snitch and be bullied” kind of culture where I am

I'm so sorry, I know what you mean. Run, run away

Could you try just doing the bare minimum and see what happens? No more overtime, put up some boundaries and see if it makes you feel better? While looking for another job? Good luck

Definitely start looking for and applying for other jobs. In the meantime just switch off from any feelings of commitment you have for this job, go through the motions but stop going above and beyond for them.

I have tried to be there less but due to the role I have I am forced into being being there with them, I have tried no overtime but then I get guilt tripped when things go wrong and I feel pressured into working it, the company is commission driven so any sort of loss I get a battering for, I can’t win either way really.

Leave, but raise a grievance with HR first, and ensure your leaving letter alludes to feeling forced to quit because of everything that's happening, and your lack of confidence in the grievance process because of the bullying that arises.

You don't have to go the whole hog and claim constructive dismissal or anything, just make them squirm a bit and draw attention to the issue.

Might be cathartic for you too. There's nothing that says you have to engage further if you do this.

You need to leave. But like PP said do the bare minimum, practise your solid “no” face and start applying for new jobs. I wouldn’t quit without somewhere to go first.

I am trying to take a step back, I did book some holiday in but it’s not been approved (common occurrence) I am waiting to see if it’s approved this week as I really need some time off to relax and think through my options

Get signed off from work and apply for jobs.

Just one more thought. When you apply for new jobs, be careful before jumping for the first offer you get. Ask subtle questions to find out what the culture is like. Especially ask non managers questions in breaks between interviews, if the interview isn't remote.

Eg
What do you like most about working here?
How long have you worked here/where were you before?
Do people meet for drinks after work? (Personally this is a bit of a red flag for me as it's a sign people tend to work late and work encroaches on home life)

I personally wouldn't do this. IME they won't listen to you fairly, they'll twist things you say and do to make you out to be a troublemaker, and you might even tarnish your reputation in the industry. It's not fair or just but it's the way it is.

We do hear in the news of payouts from constructive dismissal but they make the news because they're rare and unlikely. In reality it'll be a dreadfully stressful process with probably negative outcomes. Unless op has really clear proof of obvious discrimination, preferably in writing, she hasn't much of a chance.

Edit - if it's just an angry letter rather than a legal pursuit they'll just laugh and bin it. No point

I would not leave until Inhad another job because that is another kind of stress, but i would really try to get time off and i would not invest in my work in the meantime. it is hard and you need out, but why punish yourself with no money?

I do have proof on email of things said to me by members of the team, sexist comments, nasty comments, and I have other evidence I’ve kept it all incase anything ever happened.

Yes this.

Apply for other jobs. Try to get a job before leaving.

What's your sick pay like? I'd get yourself signed off with stress

As pp have said, get signed off even if only for a week. I would then call acas as they may be able to offer advice in terms of your treatment and tell you what your options are.

I feel so sorry for you and I hope you find a new role in a work environment where you are happy, thrive and excel, as well as feel cared for and appreciated. If your leave is not approved, I still think you should take time off due to illness as you may not realise it but you need that break and you need it now. Speak to your GP and see if you can get a sick note for 1 week. All of what you are experiencing can affect and/or worsen how you think, feel, and perform, as it takes up the space and energy that your brain needs to think, making it harder to focus, process information, and make decisions. If not properly managed, it can increase your risk of developing severe health conditions. I wouldn't normally encourage anyone to quit a job without securing a new job, but if things don't improve, do it.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/

Update your CV and start applying for jobs, it's easier to get a job while you're already employed. Hang on in there and make a plan.

We only get statutory sick pay so getting signed off seems a worrying aspect also

Raise an official grievance. Remind them that annual leave is a contractual right, not a favour to you.

If you haven’t already, register with some agencies. Will open up the opportunities to you

Sign up with an employment agency to increase your chances of finding another job.