AIBU to feel uneasy about N Family Club (SE London) – or are my expectations too high?

[LuckyCoralHare]

Posting here because I’d really love to know if others have had similar experiences – at other N Family Club nurseries (particularly branches in SE London)

We’ve recently moved from a very small, warm childcare setup where our child was with the same carer every day – someone who honestly felt like a second mum – to a much larger nursery setting. I know this is a big change, and maybe my expectations need adjusting… but I’m feeling increasingly unsure about how things are going and whether the concerns I have are justified.

Our child seems to have fun there and is generally happy, which is obviously the most important thing – but we’re finding the day-to-day communication quite poor and the staffing situation unsettling.

At pick-up, we rarely get meaningful information about the day. It often feels rushed and inconsistent, with no clear handover from someone who knows what our child’s been up to. We’ve had to ask directly on the app just to get basic details – what they ate, whether they napped, whether there were any incidents, etc. There have been small but worrying things like unexplained marks, clothes being put on incorrectly, and multiple changes of wet clothing (even though our child is already potty trained).

There also appears to be a heavy reliance on agency staff, with very few familiar faces day-to-day. I’ve noticed multiple job ads for the site, and overheard other parents talking about similar issues to the managers – missing info, staffing instability, and concerns around consistency in care...

I’ve asked around on a local FB group and got quite a mixed response. Some people seem happy, but others shared stories that really echoed my own concerns:

“I can hear the garden from my home – often lots of crying that goes uncomforted. Been going on for months, though I know someone who’s really happy there too.”

“We had a chat with management about staffing, which helped – worth trying if you haven’t yet.”

“Not being told what your toddler ate is a safeguarding issue. You’re paying top-end fees, you should expect basic communication at the very least.”

“A friend left N Family Club because of chaotic rooms and poor leadership – it just didn’t feel safe.”

“We pulled our child out after settling days – lovely facilities, but the room was disorganised and staff clearly overwhelmed.”

I don’t want to overreact, especially since our little one seems mostly happy – but I’m struggling with the lack of clear communication, inconsistency in staff, and the general sense that no one really knows the full picture of how the day’s gone.

AIBU to expect a clearer handover and more consistent caregivers, or is this just how big nurseries are? Would really appreciate any thoughts – especially if you’ve had experiences at this, or other N Family branches?

I've no experience of that organisation but my youngest child was at a nursery where they were happy but there were major staffing issues & formal concerns raised (staff not knowing kids' names & lack of knowledge on allergies). I regret not pulling them out - they were happy but got no early years education out of it. With the comments you report I'd definitely move your child, sounds way worse than my experience.

The lack of staff continuity would really worry me. I took my child out of another nursery because of this. He was three and able to say he wasn’t happy there although he couldn’t really explain why but he settled well at a new nursery with consistent staffing.

A company who can’t keep their staff is a bad sign, I wouldn’t be happy with agency staff looking after my child because they don’t know the children, that’s why you’re not getting updates!

I'd look to change in those circumstances, if they can't even note the basics on an app for food and naps then the staffing issues are severe and leadership is lacking.

I have a child at an N Family Club nursery, albeit in the SE rather than SE London, but I will say my experience has been a positive one so far. We get regular updates throughout the day re what she’s eating, how long she has napped for, nappy changes, if they’re taking them out to the garden etc and these are provided everyday. At pickup we are either met by the room leader or our daughter’s key worker who gives us a breakdown of the day. We also get photos and videos sent to us via the app each day. My daughter really enjoys it there and is always happy at both drop off and pick up

Hi Op- which n family branch is this?
Asking as ive enrolled my baby for the year end for N family forest hill, and i do have my reservations already. Will be great to connect with you on this
Thank you

We pulled out of Forest Hill after the settling in days. It was a very chaotic environment with many kids left to cry for long periods even in our presence while staff were chatting to one another or on their phones. When we brought it up with management it sounded like they were well aware of the issue and they said "we had a chat with them." You have one job, to take care of the kids. If you can't tend to them, what's the point? It felt like staff were being held there against their will, so little loving attitude apart from one. Just eye rolling and straight faces.
We also saw Brixton and that one seemed better. But overall it strikes be as a chain that's good at marketing and sometimes misses the mark at core delivery.

Oh my god, this is terrible to know- can we please connect on this? Not sure how to reach out to you on this forum?

I've PMed you @newmumintown11

Hello, we are also having the same experience at N Family Forest Hill.
Our child has been there for 8 months now and the staffing situation has just been terrible. More and more people have left to the point now where nearly no one there is the same as when we joined in January. We often drop them off to a room of staff who we haven’t met before and are temp/agency staff. We have been patient with it for a long time telling ourselves that it is because it is new so takes a while to bed in etc. But they have been open 9/10 months now and it hasn’t improved.
Currently both the manager and assistant manager are temporary and they employed a new room manager for our child rooms (after not having one for months) and they left within a month.
We are now considering our options to move elsewhere, as it just isn’t improving.

There has always been a high staff turnover, when new faces come and go, this means there is no consistency, no attachment, no key worker to track and plan progress.

Quantity does not equal quality no matter how pretty the setting looks. I once worked for this chain, impressed by its layout but disappointed that it didn’t deliver a positive nurturing learning environment. A good nursery would not be loosing staff in a very short period of time. Poor management. All show but no substance.

Also with N Family in the south East overall our child seems happy but had a couple of illnesses now I'm trying to change our childs mug back to the home/ usual one as they swapped our child's cups behind my back and I'm now having to admit that I know and copy their mugs to replicate their processes.

I think the chain Nursery's all seem to be the same.

We were with TLE before high staff turnover lots of agency staff and staff trying to override your preferences because they find a new policy or procedure.

They all say their trying to help your child but the reality is always their just trying to get you to follow their processes.

Sorry I know that seems hard but no @LuckyCoralHare your not being unreasonable.

They need to respect that your the mum and what you say is only ever going to be for your child benefit.

Thanks for sharing we have only been with N for a few months after a turbulent TLE giving our allergic DS cows milk and cheese and not sacking the individuals responsible.

The management didn't last thats wasn't with N it was TLE SE LH

I'm sorry if this a bit of a doom and gloom response but sadly my experience with nursery was very negative. My daughter is about to start Reception and had always attended a wonderful childminder's since she was 1. Last year we decided to try nursery for some of the days as we thought she might need to get used to larger groups of kids with school looming. She would regularly cry the night before and ask if it was a nursery or childminder day. If it was the former she'd beg not to go. Whilst there, after having successfully potty trained, she also developed a fear of going for a poo and I've often wondered what brought this on. (Like a staff member telling her off). She was on Movicol for months. Before potty training, I'd collected her one day with a horribly soiled nappy you could smell a mile off. Thankfully we were in a position to just switch back to the childminder 5 days a week and we were so grateful. I think if you have any kind of concern, trust your mother's instinct. Eventually, the nursery manager (who in fairness was trying her best) was signed off due to stress and she was the only person we felt we could trust there. My daughter technically had a key worker but otherwise it was a constantly changing sea of agency workers, many of whom were very young. I also remember one day hearing the way one of the staff members were talking to the kids and feeling very uncomfortable. You're absolutely not overreacting and I hope you can find a solution. Your child deserves to feel happy and you deserve to feel reassured 😊 X

Thats terrible, it is frightening, because their your pride any joy and your trying to keep a roof over their head. TLE SE was the wost ive had women I didnt even know trying to tell me you should always carry a spare bottle of Piraton because the manager had lied to them and made out like it wasn't in the back pack with dad as a witness to this. Then theirs the ones that say I have to ask my manager if your child can have a specific milk or cup. The other chain ended up just not offering milk at all and saying it wasn't wanted. Its like they expect you to belive that your child turns into a different person as soon as they set foot in a nursery. I liked the fact that their are witnesses in a nursery. Its upsetting that the issues end up spoiling the child's education and friendship circles.

Can you private message me? Also at N family SE London with similar thoughts.

We are at a London N family… it’s just lovely. Consistent staff (my eldest has had the same girl in her room for 2 years and is moving up with her to the next) and the room manger for my youngest is the same as when my eldest was there. It’s calm, stimulating and I really trust them. My standards are high as I work in a top prep school. But it clearly varies!! We thought the consistent staff was because N pay slightly above normal and they have a chef they caters for staff too, but maybe not. I do think consistent staff is the key though!

It is, I'm not liking it at the moment they keep taking on new people. I think its curtious to at least drop a parent a message if your going to hand a child over to someone else. Especially when they haven't even met that person. I think its ridiculous they refuse to allow my child to bring in a cup from home even if it looks just like their ones and CMPA. I'm sorry but I'm not going to go prancing in with my n fmaily club coffee cup when theirs virus being picked up as children do. I asked if I provide you with a doctors letter will you listen to is as there are allergies and apparently no. Because if they do it for me they have to do it for everyone, aprently it prepares them for school, even thought they have their own water bottles in school really? and the child with the nut allergy who has anaphylaxis is getting the blame because apparently I could have washed a cup with nuts but our child is expected to drink out of a cup that has had cows milk.

So I'm like I thought the babies are allowed to bring their bottles in and the parents you supply with coffee cups but no they claim they are not going to look in the back pack for a mug.

The won't even let allow a child to drink allow the children to drink out of a plastic N fmaily coffee cups never mind offer them a bottle over the age of 2.

Their not worth the money because their too confrontational over issues where their is vulnerability. Same as the rest of the chains forcing advise down your neck you don't need.

There is no logic behind their reasoning, this nursery makes outlandish statements which hold no meaning. For example, primary school's want children to be independent (free thinking, making decisions based on their understanding, which allows a teacher to track a child's development and focus on areas that need more attention, this nursery wants to control what children do). Supporting a child's learning and development means working in partnership with parents. The best nurseries are ones that are small and not chain nurseries. Children need good one to one attachment, to be valued as individuals but treated equally, and be free to learn.

A chain nursery is like a fast food macdonalds, selling as many places as possible, there is nothing bespoke about them, only the packaging which does not practice what it preaches. It can't and for many reasons, high staff turnover, poor understanding of the EYFS, learning experiences are the same every day, and not challenging to extend learning ...poor attachment ...

It sounds like this nursery is being petty and controlling regarding the use of a water cup. The use of a water cup makes no difference in preparing children for school. The nursery should be focusing on the prime and specific areas of learning. (PSED, CL, PD, L, UTW, M, EAD)

@wispa3 thank you for the validation, they try and make you like feel some kind of outcast for not wanting to tolerate their protocol and thry think if something as worked with their own child then everyone else must follow that process. People are definitely not all the same. Like how dare I not want my child in group photos encase someone I don't know puts them on the Internet.

Its definitely easier for them to upload 1 group photos.

I daren't comment on what i would really like to say to them as it wouldn't be appropriate, we're moving again, no one wants to see their child get croup because some smart allic thinks they can override a child's doctor. They deserve better than staff that only care about their next pay check. Its like don't go into childcare if you have no interest in bonding with children.

@Butterflyx2 If you feel something isn't right regardless of it being big or small, and you have tried to address it with the nursery manager but have been given a lame excuse or your view is dismissed, then report your concern to Ofsted. All settings are supposed to be working in partnership with parents, with the child's interests at the forefront. The setting you mention is being ridiculous.

When Ofsted are due, you will be surprised how quickly some settings change the way they normally do things, e.g. putting up displays, setting up activities, cleaning, moving staff around who can best represent the setting with their knowledge of the EYFS, being very nice towards parents ... this does not create an honest picture.

@wispa3 Thanks this is actually going to be the 2nd time with Ofsted. TLE SE got inspected because a staff member gave cows milk to our,
child then started trying to mitigate saying " it was only a little bit."

TLE got ofstead inspected and told to update their allergy procedures.

We changed rooms and key workers and I caught the new key worker giving our child and 6 others who were on yellow bowls cheese. That manager at TLE said "oh those children can't have raw cows milk."

All that told me is those 6 children are dairy free and I heard one little girl suffering with a chronic cough which they used to try and argue isn't a symptom because they think they know more than our child's consultant.

I will do whatever it takes Social services intervention the lot. Its just an apsaloute joke the amount they expect to be paid and its too much like hard work to look in a child's back pack.

When they tired to get the bottle off our child at N they started making up stories our child is saying its too heavy in the back pack when our child carries it.

Its like you carry the back pack is half the size of the child. What am I expected to do not give the stuff needed for Nursery.

Lucky for them I cross examine very well and I know that the word " heavy" isn't actually in our child's vocabulary yet.

There's no need to treat the parents like childern just because they can't control everything.

I don't trust them because they allowed me to pack the nursery bag for 3 months and never said anything about it before. 2 Stomach bugs later telling me not to pack bottles.

The following day their telling us what shoes to wear bring clogs as its easier for them. Not easier for us on a climbing frame.

@Butterflyx2 This demonstrates how unprofessional a setting can be, if they are acting like they know better than an actual parent/doctor.

If a setting that claims a child used words which are not yet in their vocabulary, this puts the nursery's creditability in question. Children learn and understand new words through stories, nursery rhymes, songs ... or by listening to language modelled by other people.

Chain nurseries have quantity but bad practice in their quality, again high staff turnovers, poor management ... relying on agency and bank staff to meet ratios. Check all previous and present Ofsted reports but also complaints, and reviews on indeed left by parents and staff.

@Wispa3 your completely right. Its totally selfish my minds made up. I won't leave the other children behind but their selfishness has no boundaries.

Ignorant as sin, no morals and let's face it money is the only reason they have any intrest in anyone's milk ladders not because their doctors because it saves them a pretty penny to crop out milk.

Well the last time I tired of offer more at TLE for milk i used to have to take a day off work and give them surprise visits to find out they narssaictily ordered tescos own brand oat milk behind my back. The manager didn't last ohh well her problem.

Shear lack of integrity and they deserve every word we said about them, its not libel when its the truth.