Having my ex partner at the birth of my baby

[Lookingforadvice101234]

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting my ex partner at the birth of our child? He left me at 12 weeks pregnant but still wants to be involved with baby; although has been pretty flaky and difficult up to now. I have decided I don’t want him there, he hasn’t actually asked. However when other people ask me if he’ll be there they seem shocked when I say no; as if I’m being unreasonable. Advice welcome

Studies seem to show that being at the birth is helpful for bonding when fathers are supportive and involved during the pregnancy but is unlikely to make up for spending the nine months prior to the birth being flakey and uninvolved.

It's interesting that when this post is made about a current partner the posts are almost 100 percent unanimous that he has a right to be at the birth of his child. So it should be the same for an ex if you think about it. Either it's about the baby or it's about the the birthing woman's needs regardless of their current relationship.

Fwiw I think it's entirely up to the birthing woman regardless of the relationship. So even if you'd been married for twenty years but you didn't want him there you'd have ever right to tell him to fuck off for the birth but certainly a flaky twat who dumped you in the first trimester has no need to be anywhere near you during labour.

Even if he was your current partner you don’t have to have him there. It’s your medical procedure, your birth, you get to decide who you do and don’t want there.