Coercive Control

[NaiveNellie]

I have been hugely controlled by my husband for a number of years.

Huge lies, emotional abuse, etc. etc...these lies have massively altered my life, I will never have the life I want now. All down to his lies and abuse. He has also been physical, at times. He can be very scary.

Is this coercive control, is this something a solicitor could help prosecute against?

I can put together an accurate timeline, if need be but I want his behaviour to be acknowledged for what it is.

Hiya, make contact with a DV service in your area, that's your best bet. They can help you work out what to do.

Document everything, gather your evidence together and speak to a solicitor. Many do a free 30 mins to see if the case is worth taking.

Thank you, I will contact Womens Aid tomorrow and I have a meeting with a solicitor - I am happy to pay if it means his behaviour is recognised for what it is, I don't want him doing this to anyone again.

Good luck OP, hope everything work out for you

Women's aid first and tell them you want to report to the police.
You may be eligible for legal aid.

Read up on exactly what the crime of Coercive control involves and include what applies to you with and paperwork like finances, texts telling you what you can and cannot do.
Anything you have, gather together.
Make it clear you are prepared to make a full statement and ask to do so.

The best of luck.

I’m nervous to do so while we’re still living together, we also have DC….can I do it retrospectively once we’ve separated properly?

Talk to Women's aid and they will advise you best.
Safety first always.

Straight to police, they are the experts on this.

I don’t want them to let him know while we are still living together and before contact with the children has been arranged, etc…I don’t trust him not to take them or for his abuse to ramp up. Would the police hold back on this?

If you think he would take the children and harm them, perhaps to punish you, you need to make that very very clear to the police, the solicitor and Women's aid.

I don’t think he’d harm them, I wouldn’t trust him not to take them though.