Seperated but lonely

[Horsewench]

I seperated from hubby 2 months ago because of emotional abuse. We didn't speak for 1st month but now we do. Everytime I see him i want him back although I know he won't change. We'd been together 20 years. When we was texting he said he never felt I put him first or really loved him. I don't know what I could've done differently as I paid all bills, did all housework, worked full time, took him back after he left me for someone else, put him before my kids. I'm so lonely now I think of taking him back.

Read this as if it’s your daughter posting. Would you want her to be with such a “man”?! He’s bringing nothing to your life. Can you find a way of expanding your social circle so that you can see how many lovely people there are in the world and keep him out of your life?

Nothing lonelier than being in a bad relationship. Don't do it

Start a new hobby, therapy is definitely needed, exercise, be so busy you don't have time to talk to him. Block him.

You WERE together for 20 year and he is telling you that you weren't good enough.

I wonder, is he sharing what he thinks he should have done differently over the last 20 years day to day... nope. Focusing on what he deems as you failing the relationship

If your child or a close friend wrote this about their relationship ship you would tell them to run, fast, and not look back.

So for goodness sake, you've done the hard bit and left. Now run, far away and block this awful person.

YOU DESERVE BETTER

Thanks. I know you're all correct. Just hard atm. There's not much to do where I live, I don't have a car so have to rely on public transport which stops quite early. I'm not working due to health issues so don't have money to do my hobbies or join clubs. I know I sound as though I'm whining but it's just how it is atm. Guess things will get better with time

It will get better. But having contact with him will make the process harder and lo get. This time next year, if you cut him off today, you will feel so much better.

There are plenty of things you could do that cost nothing that would be wiser than entertaining this man in any way.

• Volunteer - can be done from home or online in a lot of cases
• Learn & Language or new skills - plenty if free courses online, linkedin, duolingo
• Online groups - there are no online book clubs, choirs, conversation groups, toastermasters etc all online

You'll still be lonely with this guy. He may be there physically but it's lonely as he'll being in a relationship with the wrong person, especially one who treats you poorly.