To think partner should have woke with DD and let me sleep

[cherrycola66]

I know this is not the biggest issue in the world but it’s really annoying me. I work 2 days per week, my partner works just 3 days this week and doesn’t start until Wednesday, I worked all day yesterday (10 hours), I’m 9 weeks pregnant aswell, I had a headache last night and told him how tired I was and back to work today, DD usually wakes around 3 every night.

Last night I went to bed at 11, she woke at 2:45 and wouldn’t settle back to sleep until 3:45 I had to be up for work at 5:30 I got so annoyed with my partner I shouted at him and said he is taking the piss, am I right to be grumpy that he didn’t get up with her and let me sleep, baring in mind I’ve never asked him to help me with nights no matter how hard it’s been for me as he works and needs his sleep.

YANBU
He is also a parent, and if he's not working the day after, he does all the setups.

he doesn't "need his sleep" any more than you do. his job is not being a brain surgeon,.

Tell him it's only fair for sharing the wake ups evenly

Yes the last time I approached the subject, months ago when she would wake every hour, his reply was ‘yes but you’re used to it’ and ‘I take her out in the day sometimes so you can nap’

and did you correct him then, telling him that obviously your vagina gave you an inherent ability to raise children, nullifying your need for sleep..

neanderthal.

His incorrect assumptions need to be made clear. You're as new a parent as he is. You've learnt how to act/react to the child because you've been forced to learn. He needs to learn too.

, baring in mind I’ve never asked him to help me with nights no matter how hard it’s been for me as he works and needs his sleep.

You're going to have to start telling him that he needs to get up. If he’s never got up before he’s not going to want to now. He’s had an easy ride and he’s not going to give that up without a fight.

I bet you do the most of everything else too, and this is just on example of him believing his needs are more valid than yours.

Yes maybe I do, no to be fair he always pulls his weight in every other way I can’t fault him on that

And you are having a second child with this man for what reason ?

why on Earth haven’t you shared nights

and why does dd wake up at 3 every night. What age are they ?

He's had it easy. You should've had him doing some night wakes from the start. It makes sense that you do most when you can nap the next day and he can't but, when you can't, he should've always done some too. eg the bulk of the Fri/Sat wake-ups. Say you're pregnant now so it's time he step up to this part of parenthood. It's not fair you're exhausted when he's sleeping soundly 8 hours a night.

Because like I said he does his part in every other way, this never really bothered me until last night and it’s not really the end of the world.

my DD has just turned 1, I can’t really help if she wakes at 3 every night