Would you stick to this rule and if not, why not - phone ban?

[Rumors1]

My DD is going on a 5 day residential trip to take part in a mentoring workshop. It is organised through the school and is for those wishing to train to mentor and support the incoming students into secondary school. Its a full on programme to train these young people as support leaders in the school. There was an application and interview process for selection and 10 children are chosen from each participating school. They are aged 17 and 18.

We had a zoom meeting with the coordinator and one of the rules they strongly request we abide by is that students dont bring their phones on the trip. He spoke about this for a while saying the purpose was to avoid distractions on a busy schedule and to get full focus and engagement from the students. They also implement a strict 10.30 bedtime and dont want phones to be used after this time. They have asked for full cooperation from parents.
Arrangements are in place for parents to contact students if necessary and the students can phone home if they wish.

I told DD she wouldnt be bringing her phone, after her initial complaints she accepted the situation.
She did however later say that all the other students from her school were bringing theirs and she was "advised" by a former participant to bring it as no one sticks to the rule.

I have no doubt that many if not all of the students ill bring theirs (always happens on school trips, phones are banned and my DC are usually the only ones with no phones).

AIBU to think you should you stick to this rule and if you wouldnt, why not?

At 17/18 I'd let her decide wether to follow that rule or not I think.

I would stick with it (although at 17 and 18 some will own their own phones which would be difficult) as I think anything where "everyone" is doing the opposite and "nobody else's mum makes them..." usually turns out to be bollocks and actually most parents do stick with it.

I would be supporting the school rules. They are in place for a reason and undermining the school is not a good message to give to kids.

At 17/18 I’d leave it up to my DC.
They are clearly mature enough to embark on this programme in the first place, so are mature enough to decide whether or not to take their phone (and if they do take their phone, are mature enough to decide how/when it should be used).

There was an application and interview process for selection and 10 children are chosen from each participating school. They are aged 17 and 18

If there was high competition to get onto this course, it's a shame in my view that the successful ones aren't entering into the spirit of it. Assuming there will be some facility for them to make/receive calls in emergency, there is no need for them to take mobiles. It's ridiculous the way people - not just teenagers - seem to be welded to their phones nowadays.

At 17/18, it would be my child’s decision. Neither of my kids have been obsessed with their phone so it wouldn’t have got in the way of a workshop like this. I’d expect them to be discreet about use and just be sensible, which I’d hope someone of this age wanting to do a workshop like this would be anyway. I actually think it’s a bit controlling of the organisers to say that they can’t have their phones.

If they're training to mentor future students it's not a good start to be disobeying rules.

If that is the rule then they should be sticking to it and not taking their phones. It shows the level of entitledness of some of that generation, when they think that rules don't apply to them, and also when they can't be without their mobiles.

A lot of employers implement a "no mobile" rule during the working day because workers keep getting distracted by them, and I think that more need to get on board with that. I know several people in their 20's who have been let go due to excessive mobile phone use.

The best thing that parents can do is to support this rule and ensure that mobiles are left at home.

Not being allowed their phone in their own time during the evenings is a ridiculous rule.

It sounds like an ideal teaching moment "some rules are stupid enough to ignore"

During the working day is the key thing. They don’t tell employees what they can do in their own time.

It sounds like an ideal teaching moment "some rules are stupid enough to ignore"

Is that what they should be saying to the young people they will be mentoring?

Don't like the rules, don't go.

I would ignore the rule.

Just because she brings the phone doesn’t mean she has to turn it on or take it out. I think it’s a great goal for this program to want to have no devices… but I’m not sure how realistic it is.

@Rumors1

"they strongly request" it is not mandatory.

"AIBU to think you should you stick to this rule" yes.

Ultimately though, I would let your daughter decide.

The whole thing seems so strange and sus. Training older children to mentor younger children- are they going to being treated like unpaid support staff? Will they know what to do if a child discloses something? And why does it take so many days to train them up for this kind of casual volunteering role?

Is this run by Graydin, out of curiosity?

I'd be very wary of allowing her to go on something like this, a phone ban is a great way for the organiser to get away with inappropriate/abusive behaviour with people they are in a position of trust over. One, they can't contact the outside world and two there is less chance of someone recording evidence of the abuse.

One of the main consequences of preventing them from having their phones is they can't contact you (their parents). I wouldn't be happy with that at all.

100% agree

That’s a huge leap!

if nobody at all is having a phone there, for sure.

Otherwise? let your DD decide if she wants to be treated like a child or not.

I don't think it's much of a leap. I'd be asking a lot of questions about what they mean by mentoring, what actual training is going to be taking place, and why it has to take so long, and why it has to be residential.

One of the main consequences of preventing them from having their phones is they can't contact you (their parents). I wouldn't be happy with that at all.

they can't contact the outside world

It's in the OP that they will be able to contact parents if they wish. And unless they are locked in 24/7, or are on a remote island somewhere, they presumably can walk out of the door if they want to?

They are not year 7s, they are old enough to be responsible. I would agree that she takes her phone but tells nobody and has it switched off initially. If she then finds everyone else has their phones out in the rooms, she can do the same. She should have a lock on her suitcase/bag and keep the phone locked in there during the day (to avoid theft).

Strongly suggest

so not a ban

I get not wanting students being on phone daytime and all night

what they should do is allow phones and time periods. Something like

given 7am to 8/9am till day starts

then locked in box 8/9am till 5ish or day finished

phones back 6 and taken away 10pm so sleep well and not up all night

I wouldn’t want to be without my phone for 5 days tho obv I’m an adult not a 17/28

My DD uses her phone as a medical device so it needs to be on and near her at all times. No exceptions.