Should I take my stuff or is that mean/spiteful?

[Altnaia1961ia]

I've recently split from my partner of 9 years. I ended up moving to a smaller place - no children involved.
All the stuff in the house was mine as he had moved to the UK from abroad e.g sofas, white goods etc.
At first things were amicable & I thought I'd leave some stuff but now I hear he's been entertaining multiple women in the house I feel a bit hurt and disgusted that he's moved on so quickly when I'm grieving badly (he put me through years of emotional abuse, gaslighting etc & destroyed my confidence).
I still have a key. Would it be awful of me to reclaim my major bits as otherwise I'll have to stretch myself financially buying more. He earns x 2 more than me but I feel heartless leaving him with an almost empty house (he will still have a bed). I know it sounds spiteful of me but somehow I childishly want him to suffer like I am. Am I a terrible person?

Can you prove they were purchased by you ?
If he calls the police , that will be the first thing they check .

I would have a conversation with him and arrange collection of your belongings. I can’t see how just turning up and taking it will work out, do you have a van?

@Altnaia1961ia get a removal van and a couple of strong men. sofa, bed white goods, everything which belongs to you, take it!! you own it not him!

Take all your stuff back urgently. The longer you leave it the less likely it is you'll get it back.

Take your stuff. Would you have given it all to him if he was the one to move out?

Good god it is your stuff - please go and get it asap. don't leave anything for that lowlife!

It might be advisable to also take with you:

1. A big scary looking bloke for back-up, and
2. A couple of kippers to strategically place behind a few radiators when your ex isn't looking.....

😁

Don't just take your stuff - get two big, sexy, men to help you take your stuff!

And make sure you leave his stuff because it will look even sadder in an empty house.

Id even take the knifes and forks if id bought them, charging cables and batteries out the remote.

Fuck that guy.

Take your shit and walk away.

Take it.

I think you were being overly nice to leave it in the first place to be honest.

dont take it because ‘I feel a bit hurt and disgusted that he's moved on so quickly when I'm grieving badly’. You have no clue how badly he’s grieving but also you broke up so of course he can see other women.

if it’s yours and you need it take it but not out of spite.

While it's tempting to pile on with the "take your shit back" responses, please make sure that you can prove these items are yours if he tries to challenge it.

What I mean is, his first reaction is likely to call the police and tell them "his" stuff has been stolen. If your relationship lasted nine years it may be hard to convince a court the items are more than 50% yours, unless you've got receipts etc. proving that you paid for them personally.

He sounds like he is the sort of person who will make things difficult. Only you know what the items cost you and whether it's worth the hassle - it may well be.

Leave nowt but a pair of curtains and stuff a few prawns in the hem....

If you can prove it’s yours take it, take it all.

But there’s a cat in hells chance I’d be taking the old used mattress. I’d leave it on the floor at a jaunty angle, unmade and looking sad.

You paid for it, you take it.

I doubt she wants the bed now

I'm not sure why this wasn't a conversation you had when you moved out?

If it means you'll be leaving him with a nearly empty house, white are you using for white goods at the moment?

Not awful at all.
Arrange a couple of people with a van, and just get it moved
White goods, sofa, everything!

Leave the bed but loosen the screws...

Deffo leave the mattress behind. If you can dismantle the bed and leave the pieces in a tidy pile, so much the better.