Problems with cleaner AIBU?

[Cleaningtroubles2]

Dh and I have a slight difference of opinion, and I am not sure what to do, so I thought I would ask my MN ladies! NC for obvious reasons.

Our cleaning lady has been with us for just under 3 years, we look
after her extremely well and always have done. I have always appreciated her reliability and efforts. However the last 6 months have become really difficult and I don’t know if I am being overly sensitive:

She is having an affair and spends all day talking to her boyfriend as she works (with air pods)

She makes my teen girls feel guilty for eating, and regularly comments on carb content

She watches films whilst ironing and has burnt my clothes

When my dog was ill, she told me not to say anything at all
about it, as it ‘upsets’ her. When my dog died rather than be sympathetic she made it all about her and went home early

She is constantly comparing her lifestyle/weight/fitness to my DD’s. It’s really toxic

We are moving, and she told me ‘it is so sad as she likes my house’ and ignored the fact we are looking forward to the move.

On the upside she is reliable, works reasonably hard and we know her (better the devil you know) and we hate change.

Dh wants to get rid of her, and says she is bringing the house energy down every time she arrives. My DDs can’t stand her. She started out brilliantly, this is mostly quite recent.

I’m a cleaner and I say get rid, she has got to comfortable with you, she shouldn’t be making your dd’s feel bad, it’s there home and she needs to respect that

Exactly - this all sounds too much.
OP you are employing her to clean, that is it.
Why is she so involved with your DD and why would you care if she is not excited for you to be moving?
Our cleaner, who is lovely, comes when I’m at work (I WFH) and everyone else is at work / school. We have a quick chat when she’s finished but otherwise I am in a separate room at my desk and I leave her to it.

I wouldn’t book her for a day we were all here or if I wasn’t working tbh. If you have no choice in that I would still make myself / everyone else scarce for her to get on and do her job.

We have had other ladies in the past and they have become almost part of the family, but this feels like she is now taking advantage. Dc are home for school holidays and from university, so are working pt but around a lot.

She does have an eating disorder, a very obvious one, and refuses to eat anytime at all, but she must be hungry and she mentions food non stop. It doesn’t bother my teens they just see it as her issue.

The other stuff started really slowly; she was moving herself, and asked to take some calls, but that’s moved on to all day every day, and she speaks so LOUDLY and it’s grating to say the least.

I cannot believe you would have someone like that around your daughters, whom actively dislike her.

Parenting fail or what🙄.

So have you told her to stop with the movies and the phone calls whilst working?

How does she clean your house if she never leaves the kitchen?

get rid

At it’s most basic, you are paying for a service which is supposed to make your life easier and it has stopped doing that. You’re not supposed to dread her coming. And since you do, this working relationship has stopped working.
This is why I use an agency. It costs a bit more but it is completely reliable.

Exactly. It's the most obvious solution in the world.

If It is so simple do you suppose we haven’t thought of that? There is always someone here.

I wouldn't have someone in my home negatively influencing my children like that.

I suppose I am fortunate in the sense that they are secure kids, and are not bothered by her obsession with food. She is very kind and cordial to them, it’s just food related issues.

She makes my teen girls feel guilty for eating, and regularly comments on carb content

Good Lord, do you really need to ask?

Me, I'd let her go, with many thanks. The only other option is to tackle all the problems with her, asking her not to talk loudly on the phone, not to mske comments, to concentrate more on the ironing and so on. Finding a good cleaner who suits you can be hard, I know, but it really seems like she's bothering the whole family.

Have you actually spoken to her about the things that annoy you? It’s crazy to jump straight to considering getting rid of her without talking to her.

Get rid and buy a robot vac. That will help with some of the chores. The rest everyone else can muck in, they sound old enough.

I have yes, and things improve for a while and then slowly slip back. Her marriage is in trouble, she is seeing someone else, she seems constantly distracted. I had hoped it would pass. It’s got worse if anything. The lack of consideration is the main thing and her issues around food has peaked. Initially my instincts were to be supportive regarding the above, but not now.

I am going to let her go. I have decided.

There's far too many downsides to this arrangement. She's careless with your clothes, did she pay for replacements? Your husband doesn't like her. Your children don't like her. She has a toxic effect on the positive energy in your house. She was insensitive at best when you lost a beloved dog.

I mean what are you waiting for? You're going to have to get a new cleaner when you move anyway so you might as well start getting used to change because it's coming soon anyway.

I've done cleaning and I've never heard of someone watching tv on the job. That alone is enough to get rid.