To sit someone with people they don’t know at wedding

[ZingyPeachDog]

I invited a group of distant school friends to my wedding, usually they’d be evening guests but we’re having a twilight wedding and having the same people from beginning to end. One of my best friends also went to school with me and is good friends with them. All but one let me know they can’t make it for various reasons, and the one im least friendly with hadn’t even rsvp’d but when I chased her up she said she’ll almost definitely be there. I don’t want her sitting with my best friends (especially since she’s sounding flakey) but now none of her close friends are coming so AIBU for sitting her on a table of my work colleagues and some couples?

Personally, I'd ask her. If she's not going to know anyone I'd see what she'd prefer to do.

Or can you allocate her a plus1?

if she knows your best friends it would be odd not to sit her with them if there is room on the table.

Or do you have a bridesmaid or anyone on the table of colleagues etc who you can trust to accommodate her, make her feel welcome etc?

@Canshehavewaferthinham I was thinking of sitting her next to my super friendly colleague and briefing her (the colleague) on the situation

I don't see why you can't seat her with people she actually knows and give her a plus one given that others have cried off

It doesn’t sound like you are being kind here. Why did you invite someone you don’t like to your wedding ? Please try to be a good host and ensure your guests have a nice time.

Are you trying to bump up the numbers 🤣

In this situation I would sit her with the friends of yours that she knows. Especially if she doesn’t have a plus one it would be poor form to invite her on her own and put her with randoms. The fact that she didn’t RSVP until you contacted her is neither here nor there IMO.

Why invite people you are distant with, at all?

Why did you invite someone you don’t like to your wedding? Or the whole group of “distant” friends who’d “normally be evening guests”? Strikes me that you don’t really want any of them there!

And when you chased her, why didn’t you say you needed a definite answer?

All that aside, if you want her to come, or if she accepts when you ask her for a definite answer, sit her with the people she knows.

Either give her a plus one or seat her with someone she knows, anything else is shitty.

I’m not sure I understand your rationale for not sitting her with your best friends, because she’s flaky. Do you mean you feel you’ve wasted a good seat on her if she doesn’t turn up? Can you not ask her for a definite answer, that’s surely quite normal with weddings. Does she know your best friends? I’m assuming she does, otherwise she wouldn’t know anyone, so wherever she sits she won’t know anyone. Can’t you give her a plus one?

Some we wanted there more than others but she’d recently done something nice for me and I didn’t want to leave her out.

To be honest, I thought that it was obvious a definite answer was required! Usually people know with wedding RSVPs you can’t have maybes?

We had different friendship groups and work colleagues at our wedding so mixed people up so they had someone they knew as well as their partner, plus someone new. We had a close friend hosting each table and making sure everyone was introduced etc and we also went to chat to tables between courses.

I would want to know if I were her because I would change my mind about attending. I've been to weddings in that position and it's been fucking miserable!