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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teen daughter manipulating mum

5 replies

ThisDaringHedgehog · 02/06/2025 19:56

i feel my 15 yr old teen daughter is manipulating me. I also feel she is completely pulling away from me. At the moment she has started to go off to her friends before school so they can get ready and get the bus together, I worry her friend is not a good influence, her parents are lax and I feel they like my daughter there as it keeps their daughter occupied. Their family is very glamorous and different to ours which I feel my daughter is attracted to . I know not to interfere in friendships and so am just letting this happen as I can’t see the rationale to argue with her that she must stay here before school. Now she has started to ask me to drop her off at her friends house at 7am in the morning . I am up, I work from home, she is an only child and so there is no practical reason I can’t, except I don’t want to as I don’t like her friend and am likely jealous and would prefer her here, is that being selfish. Shouldn’t I be happy she has friends and that their family is welcoming my daughter. How do I say to my daughter that I wil always be available to take her and collect her places she needs to go, but I think it’s unreasonable she expects me to do this for her before school. I am worried this is just going to be another reason she seems to hate me at the moment . I feel she is manipulating me and I don’t know how to point it out to her without coming across as needy, or damaging what relationship we have at the moment.

OP posts:
DepositSaverUpper · 02/06/2025 19:59

Your house your rules.
No dd you cannot go to friends at 7am . Meet her at school.
Set firm but fair boundaries.

Hankunamatata · 02/06/2025 20:00

Yeah would be a no from me. No way would I be driving about 7am in morning

itsgettingweird · 02/06/2025 20:03

”if you want to go to your friends at 7am DD then you can make your own way there”.

You’re right about sometimes you need to pick your battles. But it doesn’t mean you have to facilitate something you don’t agree with even if you don’t actively stop it.

whistlesandbells · 02/06/2025 20:10

The request is pretty much you becoming a taxi service and why encourage anyone to turn up at someone else’s home every day at 7am? Completely fine to refuse this and say it doesn’t work.
It would also concern me that the other family think it’s ok.

ConstantCringing · 02/06/2025 22:05

Why don't you say no, but the friend is welcome to come to her?

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