Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Would this annoy you? Lazy mornings…

37 replies

LondonGemm · 02/06/2025 18:45

DP and I - always awake c.8am on a weekend or a week off. I like to go out and get on with the day quite early, certainly be out and about by 10ish, whilst DP prefers lazier morning having coffee in bed and taking a while to get ready before eventually leaving the house at midday-ish.

I am finding this increasingly irritating and get fed up being stuck inside for so long, like I’m wasting a day.

DP says I need to learn to relax (in general, I do struggle to just ‘chill’ and do get restless) - do you think he has a point?

OP posts:

PoopingAllTheWay · 02/06/2025 19:14

So he must do what you want but you cant do what he wants?

Do one day each.
Saturday out early. Although there really is no need to be out the house at 10am
Sunday have a chilled morning
OR
You go out without him? Or meet him later ?

WhatNoRaisins · 02/06/2025 19:18

Me and DH were a bit like this before kids. I used to just get up and do my own thing if I wanted to. I like to get up and get on with what I'm doing, I found if I waited around for him to get up and be ready I lost my mojo and didn't want to go out anymore.

CarpetKnees · 02/06/2025 19:26

I haven't voted as neither of you ABU, you are just different.

Options could be to alternate - one day his way and one day yours - or for you to go out and do whatever you want to do at the crack of dawn without him, and reconvene at lunchtime.

DH is the early bird in our house and i'm the one who likes a lie in. So he gets up and does things whilst I sleep. Everyone happy.

If there's something we want to go to that involves and early start, then I get up, but if there isn't anything planned, or we need to do something that can be done in the afternoon, then I catch up on sleep / faff about on my phone / have a long bath / generally enjoy the 'not having to be out the house by a certain time' feeling.
It would BVU for one person to make the other do the opposite of what they prefer, when there is no reason. There is no reason to always do the same thing.

CandyCane457 · 02/06/2025 19:28

As others have said, neither of you are wrong or right, just different.

Me and my partner are similar. He loves to relax and unwind in bed for ages in the morning. Of a weekend, I tend to get up around 8/8.30 and he doesn’t really rise until closer to 11 (unless we have specific plans).
I disliked this when we first met, and our first year together, as I felt like I was awkwardly waiting around for him. But then I realised I just needed to reframe my thinking and not see it as waiting for him, but see it as a time to just… live my life. We have a 50/50 chore split so I tend to do my chores on weekend mornings, or just sit and sunbathe outside when it’s nice, or have chilled mornings catching up on the kind of tv I like but we don’t watch together.

I think every weekend you just need to do one chilled morning to suit him, and the other get up and out earlier to suit you.

HiRen · 02/06/2025 19:29

You need to both do your own things in the morning. Doesn't mean anything about your compatibility - but your inability to accept that he's allowed to do things differently, might.

Ilovemyshed · 02/06/2025 19:31

Bit of both as we always have much to do. I live for those lazy Sundays where we don’t HAVE to rush and can lie in, drink coffee and have a leisurely bath.

MightAsWellBeGretel · 02/06/2025 19:32

I'm like you OP and have been in this situation. No-one's in the wrong, its just who you are. Can you go out and do something while he's still sleeping and come back when he's up and ready? I

Tryeuwiq · 02/06/2025 19:33

Why do you have to do the same thing?

DonningMyHardHat · 02/06/2025 19:33

Both are fine. Neither is right or wrong. Why don’t you go out for a coffee or a walk and meet DP somewhere later on if you want?

ChocolateFairy25 · 02/06/2025 19:43

Because clearly she's codependent and controlling, dh must adhere to her unrealistic standards 🙄

Hankunamatata · 02/06/2025 19:58

You go out and leave him in peace. Dh does with me and usually back around 11.30 when in ready to start the day

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 02/06/2025 20:24

Depends, if he’s a “hang on, I’ll come with you, just let me finish my tea.” Type person, who then isn’t actually ready to go with you to something until the time you could have gone and come back, you aren’t being unreasonable.

make Saturday morning plans that don’t include him. Make lunchtime or afternoon plans with him.

if he wants to go out for a day, a day includes the morning. If he wants to go out for a couple of hours in the afternoon, you’ll do something else first.

Flip

1 2