Burnout? Or just lazy?

[rosettaa]

I’ve always struggled with fatigue for as long as I remember, but pushed through and achieved well. I have a good job where I’ve worked my way up, been in the sector for 10 years and this job for 3 years.

I find nothing enjoyable anymore, I go to work (and have done for the last 18 months +) in a complete blur, I can’t explain it but every day has felt impossible until it’s actually over. I don’t think the job itself is difficult I just constantly have a panic of “I need to get out” all the time. My colleagues are nice, supportive manager. Last month or so has been horrendous, crying in the toilets, hoping for an accident that would let me take some time off work. Just not feeling like life’s even real or I’m real. I can’t even explain it.

im coming home from work around 630pm, crashing out asleep until 9pm, waking up for a small dinner and going to sleep 10pm - 7am again. My DP sorts out our DC and I feel awful.

is this burnout? Laziness? I can’t stop, I’ve been trying to cut the naps out but I struggle so much. Blood work is fine, Dr mentioned neurodiversity could play a role here.

Any advice please?!

You are not peri menopausal, are you?

i don’t think so! I’m mid early 30s and have regular periods etc!

Are you on any anti anxiety meds? This is absolutely not sustainable.

It doesn’t sound like laziness at all. And it certainly fits the profile of burnout. Do you think you’re depressed? I’m a GP, and if I was yours I’d be suggesting you take several weeks off work as an initial step, so that you can have a chance to really assess what’s going on without the pressure that your job is clearly causing at the moment.

Definitely not laziness. Sounds like burn out, high anxiety, something on those lines.

Agree it sounds like burnout but also you mention ASD and it also sounds like unmedicated ADHD, do you have a diagnosis?

Re bloodwork have you looked at your test results on NHS app, I was apparently ok for iron but was actually on the cusp and a supplement helped.

You sound like me!

I am perimenopausal though. But also maybe burnt out , and maybe also have ADHD.

I don’t have any advice but just to know you’re not alone.

I'm not in any way qualified to say, but you don't sound lazy to me. I'm sorry things are so distressing for you and I hope you can find some answers.

Find another job.

Honestly. You need to find another job that excites and inspires you. This current job is no good for you.

Could be perimenopause, symptoms can start 10 years before menopause. You need to see your GP, what you are feeling isn't normal and could be a symptom of something else.

You sound exhausted not lazy.

Had similar and think it was a work burnout (post covid accumulation of too much work) that even when work was objectively easy I couldn't get much done and couldn't recover. Big break (extended unpaid leave for couple of months) really helped but have had similar again recently as some stress built up and think perimenopause is part of it now as was utterly exhausted last week (despite doing very little) but ok now I'm in different bit of cycle. Definitely see your GP and hope they can help and that you can have a good break

I am on waitlist for ADHD and autism, but could take years they said. I saw a psychiatrist a few years ago and he said that I’m “very like” auDHD.

I can’t do anything. If I am off I sleep all day, hunger doesn’t even wake me up. I can sleep anywhere at any time. I’m on antidepressants have been for years. I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and I don’t think I ever really felt the same after. It’s so demoralising.

it’s not the job - it’s what I want to do. I’ve checked out of every aspect of life I think. I do feel happy but mostly just nothing

Did your bloodwork include thyroid tests? TSH, FT3 and FT4? It's not always included as standard.

“Last month or so has been horrendous, crying in the toilets, hoping for an accident that would let me take some time off work”

Are you sure the job isn’t part of the reason?

I think that needing to sleep all the time needs checking out, certainly for someone only in their 30’s. A decent GP would surely do some blood work to at least eliminate things like under active thyroid etc.

Another vote for this not being due to laziness. You need to talk to GP and probably take some time off work.

ADs made me feel like this - I just wanted to sleep 24/7 and they made my life 10x harder. There were underlying issues as well (which still needed to be addressed once I weaned off the ADs) but they really were not helping. Is there any timing correlation in your case? NB if you do come off it needs to be a super slow taper and to be discussed with your GP (and consider doing it even slower than they recommend).

Burnout. Get a GP appointment and get signed off for a bit. And get some bloodwork for iron/ferritin/vitamin D as well. I was mega burned out a few years ago, but only took a couple of weeks off... because I was stressed about work... go figure... Fast forward, after a few months on maternity leave I realise the underlying anxiety I was carrying around like a sack of potatoes has gone and I feel a lot better (even though I'm surviving on bare minimum sleep!).

Sounds like anxiety/stress/burnout. I've been suffering with the same thing for around a year after a turbulent year with lots of issues with my DM being ill, I've been off work for a few months and taking sertraline which is helping a lot and I've also got an issue with my thyroid which is being investigated. Please don't feel any guilt for taking time off work, you are replaceable at work but not at home to your family.

What can anyone do about peri menopausal? I’m 38 and think I’ve got many symptoms. What do you do?

Can you afford to go part time at work?
You could use that to get a day or two each week to yourself - even if you sleep and then you can get involved with your family on the evening.