Ds echoes my voice when I answer him

[cheekyp]

I have noticed this a lot lately ds will call and say something like how are you and I’ll say fine thank you or something and he’ll echo back to me fine thank you in a voice meant to sound like me.
I find this quite intimidating, is it meant to be?
It’s quite difficult to explain and the rest of the call may be ok but I do notice he echoes answers to questions back in a quiet inferior voice which I find really strange.
I don’t mean mimicking like a child might as he’s an adult and it’s more subtle like just repeating my answer quietly in my voice which makes me feel like it was a silly answer or something and I’m not sure how to react or if it’s meant to mock me.

Do you mean literally echoing a beat behind, or sort of joining in the last few words?

I found myself wondering about the ASD link this morning, as DH joins in the tail end of my sentences which I find a little irritating. It feels as though he can’t be bothered to let me finish, as though he’s taking up more space and squishing me in the process. It isn’t malicious though.

That means nothing whatsoever. And I would have thought as someone who claims to be Autistic you’d be well aware of the many, many people out there who never get their diagnosis at all, or get it very much later in life. Person the person being discussed is one of them. One of the many thousands.

Definitely sounds like echolalia. 23 DS also exhibits this behavior and doesn't have autism, but does have neurodiversity. Autism is not the only condition that includes echolalia, there are others.

My immediate thought was echolalia also. DS1 is now 15 but he was very verbally delayed (did not speak a single word until 5) and then this was how he started speaking. He does not do it so much now, but when he is stressed, or needs to process a conversation he does do it.

It's her son not her partner

If this habit is common in autistic people it sounds like his dad was probably autistic too.

Echolalia is a very common feature in autistic people. It isn't something you're 'diagnosed' with, like a disease, it's a thing some do to help them function, like masking and stimming. Some do, some don't.

It really may not be all about you - he's probably doing it to make social interaction easier, to show he's listening, understanding, participating in the conversation.

If his father does it he's probably also autistic.

Read up on it and don't automatically assume it's a threat. My partner has some quite disconcerting stims that everyone who knows him is familiar with.

https://www.oxfordcbt.co.uk/echolalia-autism/

Just a few questions, @cheekyp :

He's 24. Does he live independently, is competent at budgeting, household chores, leaving the house independently?

Does he have friends? Does he keep his friendships? Do they invite him out and/or plan things together?

Does he have a job and/or is he happily or meaningfully engaged with whatever he's doing with his life right now?

Does he have plans, ambitions, or even just realistic desires for the future (e.g. his own home, nice holidays, car, etc.)?

Does he truly intimidate you (i.e. he frightens you), or is this an aspect of his communication you'd feel happy to discuss with him?

Talk to him about what he is doing, how it makes you feel, and what you'd prefer him to do instead.

I'm ND. I can have a tendency to do this when talking to someone who pronounces words in a way my brain finds interesting, or alternatively if I am anxious talking to someone.

Would never do it in a malicious way, it is almost a compulsion.