DS ADD/ ADHD worth investigating?

[Flipslop]

posted in child MH too but think this topic gets more traction
my 11 year old son started secondary school in Sept and seems to be struggling to focus on class, he’s a keen learner and always been very well behaved, nice kid.
the last few months I’ve been struggling with him, his behaviour is almost like he has Tourette’s he constantly seems to insult me and his sister, I mean like in an instant.
he also says he can’t focus in class.
also I notice he gets very overwhelmed in busy places.
i understand hormones, new school environment etc makes kids change overnight sometimes and my sweet kid will become a stroppy teen / pre teen but something just doesn’t seem right to me.
the reason my curiosity is peeling re ADHD / ADD is a couple of people have gently suggested to me I might want to look into it for myself, as in I show traits and it’s got me thinking about my son.
has anyone got experience of this? I’m very cautious of opening the diagnostic door if there is no reason nor benefit to him going down that path but also don’t want him to struggle and not have people understand what might be going on for him if I don’t look into it.
long post where I’ve struggled to describe his behaviour but hoping someone might help
YABU normal behaviour, leave it alone
YANBU worth looking into

When teaching I saw secondary aged children’s lives chance signicantly for the better when medicated for ADHD. Suddenly they stopped getting into trouble all the time, friendships were easier and they’re self esteem grew.

But having failed in my attempt to get two children on a CAHMS waiting list for assessment (ASD) I know it’s difficult to get on NHS waiting lists and then wait time can be any where from 2 to 6 years depending on the trust.

I've been in your position.

If he doesn't have add/ADHD then you've lost nothing by investigating.

If he has add/ADHD and gets a diagnosis it can be a game changer for a kid who is struggling with the education system. There are all kinds of reasonable accommodations that he would be entitled to in both school and university that would help level the playing field and allow him to thrive. A diagnosis also opens the possibility of medication, which for my ds was literally life changing.

Medication has been life changing for DS. We paid privately but I would remortgage or do anything I could to get the money if needed as his life chances have been vastly improved.

Thank you so much for your kind responses x

It’s such a dramatic change which is why I question if it’s just behaviour but mums gut feeling is something more is going on. He’s always been quite a sensitive kid but never ever mean and now I’m seeing this side of him when it’s like he just can’t help himself and doesn’t even know he’s doing it. The minute I slow him down and comfort him he gets back to being the calm, kind boy I know. He’s always had a tendency to be hyper vigilant, something I identify with myself and he also shares my trait as a kid where I literally never knew where anything was. He’s mentioned himself a couple of times out of the blue almost that he feels like he ‘got ADHD or something’.
it strikes me he did ok in a single entry, calm village school but now he’s in a huge school with a very busy day and all these symptoms are becoming an issue now. Does that make sense in your case?
also, his time is split between me and his dad, he doesn’t have this kind of behaviour with verbally lashing out at his dads, this has always been the way as I’m definitely his safe space but could that be masking while he is there or is it more an indication that it’s just behaviour do you think

My youngest is same. Fine in village school. Yet in secondary every teacher noted difficulty in focus and attention span. Also executive function is a challenge. Small short instructions at a time are more effective. I suspect very strongly he gets it from me. Very emotional too. Anyway I used right to choose and got him diagnosed in under a year but it’s another year till he will get his meds. Luckily it will be before Y10 so gives him a fighting chance. He’s a smart kid and doing well at school despite his challenges but I want him to maximise his potential and just not struggle really. He tries incredibly hard to manage his workload and classes and it could all be easier for him.

Thanks for your response, happy to hear your son got a fairly quick turnaround and support x

Everything you're saying fits with ADHD. Go with your gut. If you're wrong, then you've ruled it out. If you're right, then you know what you're working with. It's a win, either way.

Exactly this. It cost a lot of money I don't have but my ds was mid teens and time was of the essence. Within a week of starting the lowest dose of meds his attendance went from 70% to 100%. Ask your GP about right to choose and get a referral to a private clinic for free. It still takes time but far less than CAMHS. I didn't know about it before.