Have you regretted ending your marriage?

[ilikestrawberry]

If you’ve left your husband have you regretted it? I am happily married but often consider leaving, my husband doesn’t like pets and me and the children would love a pet and lots of petty reasons really that make me think how lovely it must be to just be able to do as you please without having to be in agreement with anyone else, I like to say yes to the children more than him, he often says no to things I wouldn’t.
I know none of this sounds like divorce material but I keep imagining how much I’d love a life with nobody to consult with over anything.
I don’t know if I’d regret it or if it’s just fantasy but we’ve been married 15 years and he’s a great man but I just feel held back by him and want to spoil the children and do as I please.
Anyone ever feel this way? Or left and then regretted it? I’m nearly 50 and know I’d be on my own a long time but does that freedom out way the companionship?

OK, tell him what you're telling us. That it's making you so unhappy you're genuinely considering leaving him. I bet he has NO idea that's going through your mind.

Also something which struck me - you say your kids ask for ice creams, and he says no and you don't want to override him. And he would feel the same. So how about you say yes before he can say no? Then he won't override you, and they you get to do what you'd like.

And also - marriage counselling. This would be a great way to openly air your grievances with each other, in a safe space where you can talk about this and come up with a compromise.

My dad was like this. Deeply practical with his money spending. He saw no enjoyment in going for a coffee when you can make one at home for virtually nothing. Or doing anything which wasn't steeped in absolute practicality. It's so bloody boring! He would give the kids money for Christmas, but it was out of duty, nothing more. We used to call him the vibe killer.

So you disagree over certain aspects of parenting.

The solution is to talk about it, argue if necessary, keep talking until you reach a compromise or one of you comes round to the other perspective.

You’d rather leave than override him or argue with him? Are you scared of him? Or very conflict averse generally? Would you ideally say yes to the kids all the time - if so maybe he feels he has to be the strict one as you’re being “fun mum” who always says yes?

You need to talk to him about how you feel and keep talking. Get cross if necessary.

Remember that if you split you will still need to co parent, there will still be compromises and things you need to agree on, not day to day perhaps but over bigger things.

I agree with @urghhh47 . Your DH seems very uncompromising OP. My ExDH was abusive and also never listened to anyone else’s views on anything. I was relieved to leave and divorce him. It was hard going it alone. I did it for 15 years as a single parent but the freedom to make my own decisions was priceless. I am remarried to a nice man. We discuss and make joint decisions on important matters. Otherwise I please myself, If anything were to happen to my DH I would never ever let another man tell me what to do. As for your DH not letting the bairns have a little pet that’s just really mean in my view.